invisible // muke

"You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment I'll never forget. ::TRIGER WARNING:: There are mentions of self harm, suicide, abuse, and depression. If you have any of these problems and just need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open ❤️


9. iris // goo goo dolls

"Are you ready to go to Michael's to pick him up?" Ashton asks. I shake my head, nervous. I'm scared. I am genuinely scared that I'll mess things up. I don't want to, but I have that gut feeling that something will happen.
"Come on, Luke. It'll be fine." Calum smiles. I take a deep breath.
"Okay." I gather up the nerves to finally go to his house to pick him up. All three of us go and I go up to the door. I was wearing a light blue dress shirt with black dress pants. I had a dark blue bow tie and suspenders that were the same color. After what felt like 5 minutes, I knocked on the door. Almost immediately, Michael opens the door with a huge smile on his face. He was wearing a white dress shirt, not tucked in and top unbuttoned with his sleeves rolled up. He was also wearing black skinny jeans. He made me look way too dressed up, but he looked cute as heck. Sooner than later, I find myself in his house, his mum taking pictures. She was dressed up too. I was confused until a man walked around the corner, dressed up also. I'm assuming that's his dad because he's glaring at me and it's really awkward.
"Mum! Luke isn't the only one in our group. You've got to take pictures of all four of us outside." Michael frowns and I crack a smile from the look of his pout.
"Alright, alright." She says, gathering her things to leave the house. She had a suitcase and her purse. "You have your house key, correct?" She asks him. He nods. We then go outside, all four of us who were in the house, and Calum and Ashton walk up. They were a bit wary when walking up, but not because of his mum, but because of his dad. We all stand in a group and she makes sure to get a few pictures. When she's done, she starts walking to the car in which Michael's dad is already in. "We'll be back by Monday, Michael. Stay safe, okay?" She says, walking back over, kissing Michael's forehead. He scrunches up his nose and then fixes his hair after she leaves to go back to the car. I giggle at the sight and he just glares at me. That just makes me smile more and he lightly punches my arm.
"Stop." He groans. His parents leave and we get into separate cars. Ashton and Calum in Ash's car and me and Michael in his car. We decided on doing that since I was staying at Michael's after.

We walk in, the place already crowded by people that go to our school. The music can be heard in the Arena and it was dark with only a few lights. But in the lobby, where everyone checked in items they didn't want to carry around, it was light. I feel a soft hand grasp mine, intertwining our fingers. I look over my shoulder to see Michael, uneasy. He told me about not liking crowded spaces. I squeeze his hand gently to give him reassurance that I was here. I lead him into an open area of the lobby while Ashton and Calum checked in our things.
"Are you alright?" I ask him, worried about him. Wow, I didn't realize how much I pay attention to Michael until now because I could definitely tell he wasn't alright. He shakes his head.
"I already want to go home." He frowns. He's been sick for the past week. I went to his house on Monday when I took care of him and then he's been sick since. I look at him sadly, wishing he was alright. His eyes were still that dull grey. Tonight, was the night I was going to try to change that just a little bit. We were going to have fun, no matter how much it took to keep him looking okay. 
"How sick are you?" I ask out of nowhere. He gives me a questioning look, but then realizes what I meant.
"I mean, my throat feels a whole lot better, but I still have a cough. My nose isn't as stuffy." He says. "I'd rather be at home, though, having a movie and pizza night with you and the guys." He frowns again. Damn, I just want to kiss away that pouty-lipped frown.
"Do you want to try to have some fun while it lasts?" I ask, noticing that there was nobody in the lobby anymore.
"I guess." He says warily.
"Besides wanting to be home, because I'd honestly rather be doing pizza and movie night too." I pause. "Why else do you not want to be here?"
"I can't dance." He practically mumbles. I smile just a little bit until I take his hand, dragging him into the Arena and down the steps to the dance floor. 
"Sure you can!" I yell to him over the music. I start jumping around to the beat, waving his arms back and fourth with mine. He was laughing, probably at how weird I was being, but you know, I'm trying to cheer him up.

Soon enough, the dance was an hour away from being over and they haven't done a slow dance. I lost Michael, Calum, and Ashton. At least I know that Michael is with them and not stranded. I've been trying to find them for the past 5 minutes when a slow song comes on. That's when I start to panic about ruining everything. This was supposed to be our first slow dance and I was supposed to end up trying to make a move, but I can't if I can't find him. As I'm quickly searching, the song half over, this girl who, I swear won't leave me alone, bumps into me as I'm frantically searching. She grins widely.
"Hi Luke! I didn't expect to bump into you. Just in time to finish the slow dance right?" She giggles, probably already intoxicated. There's plenty of beer and weed at this dance that is so well hidden, but so obvious at the same time. It was obvious that she was drunk. As I stand there searching for Michael, thinking he'd be around here somewhere, the girl, who's name I never knew, puts my hands on her waist. She wraps her arms around my neck, making sure we were close. I was so tied up in looking for Michael that she plants a drunken kiss right onto my lips and it was as soon as the music had changed to more upbeat. I could taste the alcohol on her lips and it made me want to gag. But I swear as soon as she plants that kiss, I hear my name yelled through the loud music. I push her away from me, seeing Michael walk over, really mad. He grabs me by the wrist as Cal and Ash come up quickly to try solving the problem, but it was too late. I shouted to them to just grab Michael and I's things. Luckily his spare key was on his car keys and that wasn't with the things we left with Cal and Ash. Neither were our phones. We had those, thank god. I was dragged out into the cold night and it continued to the car until I yanked my hand from his grip.
"Michael!" I yell. He stops, knowing he can't just leave me here. I can't get back in and there's no way that Ashton and Calum will hear their phones.
"What do you want?!" He turns around, yelling at me. I sigh, trying to come up with the words for what just happened, but I couldn't. They just wouldn't come out. "You know what? Forget it. I thought we had something! I thought you liked me, Luke, because I like you! I like you a hell of a lot! Or were Calum and I a set up to make you look gay so you were the talk of the school?! Huh, Luke?!" He screams, evident tears running from his eyes. I made him so upset and I fucked up. It wasn't entirely my fault, but if I hadn't left Michael's side to go say hi to a friend, we would have still been in there and it would have been him. I would have kissed him. He storms off to the car and I run to catch up to him. The whole ride home was silent. Just the sound of the car speeding down the road. When we make it back to his house, he immediately turns off the car, storming into the house. I sigh, taking my time to get there because I couldn't comprehend all of this at once. By time I collect my thoughts and make it inside, music was already blasting from Michael's room and screams of hurt and sadness flooded the house. I sigh, trying to hold back the tears because it hurt me to know that I hurt him. I close the front door behind me, locking it. I take my shoes off and then go upstairs slowly and almost weakly. It felt like I couldn't move, but I was forced to. The music got quiet and all I could hear were his sobs. The music had just been turned down because I hear a far too familiar song. I knock on the door as tears start trickling down my cheeks. I had given up on holding them back. The door opens and I'm faced with a crying and sniffly Michael. 
"I'm sorry..." I mumble, wiping the tears from my face. "She was drunk and she's obsessed with me and I don't know how many times I ha-" I'm cut off by a finger to my lips and a hand dragging me in. Michael pulls me close to him, rocking us back and fourth with the beat of the song. The song was Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. It was one of my favorites and definitely one of Michael's. His arms are wrapped around my waist while mine are draped over his shoulders. His head is buried in the crevice between my neck and shoulder as I lay my head on his shoulder. I can't believe this is actually happening because I never expected it to. Michael lifts his head and so do I. He looked like a complete wreck, but as soon as his eyes met with mine, they got brighter, enough to almost just a normal green eye color. This only happens to someone like him when one moment makes them truly happy and it also shows that they're in love. Or at least that's what I've read. And seeing that just makes me smile. That was my goal for the night. My goal was to make his eyes a little bit brighter and I did. Soon enough I find my lips almost touching his. I close the gap between them, kissing him ever so softly. His lips were so soft and so kissable. We pull away as the song ends and he just pulls me close to him with a smile on his face. 
"This." He pauses. "This made my entire night." And of course, hearing this makes me smile so big. I felt like I was floating. It felt so right with him. Everything feels so right. We go to bed soon and I fall asleep, cuddled up very close to him, taking in every bit of his scent, never wanting to forget it. I feel the warmth of his body against mine and from there on, I never wanted to leave his arms. Ever.

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