invisible // muke

"You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment I'll never forget.

There are mentions of self harm, suicide, abuse, and depression. If you have any of these problems and just need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open ❤️


12. i want to write you a song // one direction

Michael has been a little off recently. It's been about a month since we started touring. Today is an off day and all he's done is stay in his bunk. I've tried to get him to come out and play video games with us, but he won't. It really makes me worry about him since people on twitter haven't necessarily been giving him love. It makes me mad that it's like that. While Cal and Ash are trying to beat each other at the game we're currently playing, I go check on Michael. I open the curtain to his bunk.
"Hey." I say quietly as I rub his back. He faces me, tears dripping down his face. I frown, wiping away the tears "What's wrong?" He just shakes his head, covering his face with his hands. I pull at his wrists gently, pulling him out of the bunk. I close the doors to the bunk area so we were alone. I sit on the floor, gesturing for him to sit in front of me. The color of his eyes have been getting grayer since the stuff on twitter started and it makes me upset. They are almost as grey as they were the very first time I saw them. I'm continuously wiping his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Luke." He mumbles as his bottom lip quivers. I frown.
"What are you sorry about?" My heart nearly drops into my stomach at the sound of his voice. I don't want him to leave me. He wipes his tears again with his sleeve. He then rolls up a sleeve, revealing a few fresh cuts. They seemed to be from yesterday. There were also several scars there too. They are in a place where he can easily hide them with bracelets. As I'm trying to wrap my head around everything, Michael starts to sob loudly. I turn, leaning against the divider part of the wall of bunks. I pull Michael towards me hugging him tightly. He crawls onto my lap, straddling me and facing me. He buries his head in the crook of my neck, his tears bleeding into my shirt. We sit like that for a while. I honestly don't know how to really respond. I don't know how to respond other than to comfort him and tell him that I will help him through this. He calms down after a while. And during the time I was waiting for him to cry everything out, Ash comes in to check on us. I just mouth to him that it's something personal that was between Mikey and I. When Michael actually does calm down, he pulls back, looking at me. His eyes are red and puffy and just pure sadness is in them. I have to hold back the tears prickling my eyes. He takes a deep breath and lets it out before speaking.
"It's been like this for a while, if you're wondering. When my dad is drunk, he says that I'm the reason mum and him are fighting. And I feel like everything was blamed on me. So honestly, I just wanted to die. I wanted to die, until I met you." He pauses smiling weakly. "Your eyes completely contrast mine with so much happiness and I thought to myself that if I get attached to this bubbly and quirky boy, I'll be happy. And honestly, you're the best thing that's happened to me in my life so far. You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." He smiles more. I grin, kissing him gently.
"I'm glad to hear that I'm your happiness." I pause, kissing him again. "Please don't do this again, okay?" I say, cupping his face in my hand. I rub my thumb across his cheek as he smiles. He nods gently, kissing me this time. I smile. "Let's forget about those dumb tweets and let's go play some Fifa. How about that?" I smile. A smirk is spread across his face as he gets up off my lap.
"I'll beat you because Shredder always wins." He says, running into the back room. I frown.
"I thought I was Shredder?!" I pout, following him. By the time I go into the lounge area, Michael has already convinced Ash and Cal to switch the game so him and I can play. After a long and agonizing 10 losses from me, Michael hands his controller over to Calum. Ashton had gone to bed a while ago.
"I'm really tired and I'm going to go to bed." He yawns, getting up off the floor. I put the controller on the couch as Calum turns off the X-box. 
"I think I will too." Cal says, also yawning. I follow Michael, going to my bunk.
"Hey, Luke?" Michael says in the most innocent way possible. I look over, before I get in my bunk. Our bunks were across from each other and we would hold hands all the time while laying down. Ashton thought it was cute, while Calum thought it was annoying. I just think Calum is jealous.
"Hm?" I hum, pointing my attention towards him.
"Can you lay with me?" He asks quietly. I nod, going over to his bunk instead of mine. He moves against the wall to leave room for me. When I get settled, he pulls me into him. I smile, taking in all of him. His smell, the way he holds me, the feeling of his breath on my neck. Michael kisses my shoulder, a smile in his kiss. "I never told you this today, but happy one month." He whispers.
"Happy one month, Michael." I grin, closing my eyes as I listen to his breathing pattern slow, making it evident he had fallen asleep. I smile at his light snores and the breath that is tickling my neck. It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment that I'll never forget.

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