invisible // muke

"You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment I'll never forget.

There are mentions of self harm, suicide, abuse, and depression. If you have any of these problems and just need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open ❤️


16. broken home // 5 seconds of summer

I walk up to the front door of Michael's house for it to only be pulled open forcefully as his father walks out of the house mad and drunkenly. I'm surprised he didn't notice me, but I don't think I wanted to be noticed by him. His dad has always been one to hate him because he's gay. It makes me so upset to hear that someone could ever hate the boy I love the most. We've been off tour since the end of October and it's now mid January. It's been nice to go over to Michael's and just be engulfed in the smell of him whenever I stayed over, which wasn't often. He always liked my house better. I walk into the house, closing the door behind me. Tonight was one of those nights I was staying over since his mum had to work late again. The entire house was silent. The only sound I could hear were sobs coming from Michael's room upstairs. Hearing that made me even more upset. I hate hearing him cry. I go upstairs to his room quickly, worried about him. I open the door to find him on the floor in fetal position, sobbing. I frown. The sight of him like this made me want to cry. I sit on the floor in front of him, gently moving his arms out of his face. As soon as I touched him, he curled up even more, almost afraid I was going to hurt him.
"Hey, baby. It's me." I say in a hushed voice so I didn't startle him. His body loosens from it's tense ball as his sobs get louder. I help him up and into my lap. I kiss the top of his head gently. I notice his face all bloody right before he buries his face into my chest. "Hold on. Let me get you cleaned up. I don't want to get blood stains on my shirt from your nose." I coo as I helped him sit up and lean against his bed. I stand up, leaving to get a wet washrag for his face. I straddle him, sitting on his lap. I bring the cold and wet washrag up to his nose, gently wiping the blood from under it. I move his bright pink hair out of his face to see his eye better. It was already swelling and bruising. I frown. "Did your dad do this?" I ask. He nods slowly, trying not to cry more. "It's okay, Mikey. You can cry. It's only going to make it worse if you don't." I say, kissing his forehead gently. I finally get his nose cleaned up, getting off his lap. Michael grabs me by my waist, bringing me back down to where I was. I frown at him.
"Don't leave me please." He whimpers quietly. I kiss his lips gently.
"I'm not, baby. I have to go put this in the laundry and get a bag of frozen peas from the freezer for your eye." I kiss him again, getting up and doing exactly what I said I was going to do. When I come back, Michael was already in bed, curled up under the covers. It looks like tonight was just going to be a night for cuddling since he didn't seem to be in the mood to do anything else. I climb into bed next to him, putting the frozen peas on his swollen and purple eye. I pepper his face with soft and gentle kisses. "I kinda wish your mum would let you live with me, but she doesn't know that it's this bad, does she?" I ask him. He shakes his head.
"She doesn't know that it gets this bad." Michael pauses, moving closer to me. "He didn't see you, did he?"
"I don't think so. I mean, he went right past me out the front door. He didn't stop or anything." I admit. I don't like seeing Michael like this. This is the third time since we've been home. His parents even fought on Christmas. I had noticed earlier when I was helping clean up his face that he had more scars and a few fresh cuts on his wrist. His eyes were that same dull greyish green they were when I first saw them. I can tell how unhappy being home makes him. I'm sure if it were just him and his mum, he'd be so much happier. But all I see is just a wave of depression. After this few minutes of silence, I speak up again. "Please don't, Mikey. I hate seeing you do that to yourself. It kills me knowing how unhappy you are." I plead, wiping a stray tear from his cheek. Michael then rolls over, scooting backwards, into me. He pulls my arm over him and I pull him close to me on instinct. I want to protect him from this terrible world of his, but I can't do anything about it. It's not under my control to fix. I leave a kiss on his shoulder as he sighs, sinking his back into me. The comfort of having him so close to me makes me happy.
"I'm sorry, Lukey." Michael mumbles, almost barely loud enough for me to hear. He turns back around to face me, staying close to me. He buries his face into my chest, sobbing quietly.
"Don't be sorry Michael. It's not your fault." I coo, leaving kisses on the top of his head as I rub his back gently, trying to sooth him. "Try and get some sleep, okay?" I whisper, kissing his cheek.

"I love you, Luke."
"I love you too, Michael. I promise I'll never leave you and I promise I'll never hurt you."

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