invisible // muke

"You've made me feel so much happiness and I don't want to ever leave that happiness." It's March 22, 2013; our one month. A moment I'll cherish forever and a moment I'll never forget.

There are mentions of self harm, suicide, abuse, and depression. If you have any of these problems and just need someone to talk to, my inbox is always open ❤️


21. a lack of color // death cab for cutie

I grab my keys off the hook, slipping on Michael's hoodie that I've kept with me. We have a day off from recording so Michael and I are going to spend the day together.
"Are you ready to go, babe?" I call to Michael who is rushing down the stairs, his bright red hair messy under his snapback. He fumbles with his jacket, rushing to me.
"Don't be, we're in no hurry." I smile, kissing his cheek. Michael has been a little sick lately and I'm surprised I haven't caught the virus he has. I suggested to him that we go to the park and walk around to get him some fresh air. We get into the car and I drive us to the park, stopping by Starbucks to get him a hot tea that'll help with his throat. When we get there, We just hold hands, walking the trail that is in the park.
It's so beautiful outside." Michael smiles, his eyes a bright green. Ever since the thing with his dad, he's been happier and more at peace. "Just like you." He smiles, kissing my cheek. I smile back. We're going back on tour in May and I hope to god that it'll be so much better than in the past. Our relationship has gotten a lot stronger. We're playing huge shows and I'm really excited. This is our first headliner. We've been working out our fighting and we've been really close since. I'm just glad things are going so smooth. We stop at a bench that is looking out at a small lake. A few ducks were swimming around in it too. He puts my arm around my shoulders and I lean against him.
"I wish it was always like this." I say almost at a whisper.
What do you mean?" He kisses my hair.
"I mean, I wish it was always peaceful and there wasn't always fans wanting to see us. I mean, I love our fans, I do. But with us not being public about the relationship and them starting to just bombard us in public, it's getting a little out of hand." I sigh. 
"Luke, listen to me." Michael pauses, waiting for my attention. I pull back from him, turning towards him. "I don't care what the fans think. If you want to come out to the fans, I don't mind. If they don't want us together, that's okay. We will not let our relationship be affected by our fans and the media. I don't care what they think. Fuck them if they think it's wrong." Michael kisses my forehead and then smiles at me. "Okay?" I smile back at him and then peck his lips, not caring that he's sick.
"Okay." We sit in silence once again for a little bit, enjoying the nice weather while we have it. I take Michael's right hand, messing with the promise ring on his finger, smiling. "What do you think about getting married?" I ask out of nowhere. I felt as if he smiled as he took the hand of mine that was playing with his ring. 
"I wouldn't mind that. Not at all." He says in a soft tone. "What do you think about kids?" He asks, seeming to chuckle a bit. I look up at him as if he were crazy.
"A bit to early  for that." I smile up at him and he smiles back.
"Just a thought." He laughs, kissing my nose. "It might be just a little to early for marriage too. I'm only 19 and you're 18." He smiles.
"True, but just a thought, right?" I laugh and he nudges me, laughing with me. Our laughing dies out and we are sitting in silence again. It's a comfortable silence. A moment where conversation isn't needed to fill in the space between us. I'm going to miss times like this. Times where it's just Michael and I. Times when we sit in silence, filled in with the beating of each other's hearts and the breathing from our lungs. I want this moment to last forever, but a flash of a camera is visible from behind us and the sound of a shutter is heard. We turn around to notice a girl who is about my age with a professional like camera. She's smiling and waving.
"Sorry if I bothered you two. I just thought you two looked cute like that and it was perfect picture opportunity." She grins. I furrow my eyebrows slightly, but am in awe that she was so sweet to us. "I needed a few more pictures for my photography class. I can get rid of it if you want me to, since you guys aren't even out about you know." I look at Michael and he seems as confused as I am. "You're Luke and Michael right? From 5 Seconds of Summer?" She frowns slightly.
"Yeah." I smile fondly. "What is your name?" I ask with a wide grin on my face. She walks up to us, standing behind the bench as we turn to face her.
"My name is Mikayla." She smiles a small smile. Her smile fades and she seems to be a little shocked. "Wait, you guys are together right? I won't say anything if you are, I promise. I just didn't want to assume." Michael chuckles slightly.
"Yeah we are. It's okay. Don't worry about it." Michael smiles. He smiles so fondly to everyone he talks to. It is amazing. He's an amazing human being that I'm glad I can call mine. Mikayla laughs a little, smiling.
"It was nice meeting you guys. Your secret is safe with me." She says, crossing her chest where her heart is with her index finger. She leaves, continuing on her adventure to take pictures. I smile at Michael.
"See, it wasn't that bad." He smirks slightly and I hit him gently.
"Okay you know what." I laugh. 
"What?" He asks. We both pause in an awkward silence for a moment.
"Oh, I wasn't going to say anything." I laugh. "But I do know something else." I smile, kissing his cheek. "Happy two year anniversary. I love you so much."
"I love you too, Luke."

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