Silverchair - Ziall

C'mon, abuse me more I like it....

C'mon keep talking 'cause it's true....

Niall grew up different. He was often given names like a freak or a psycho for his obsession with things like pain and gore.

He wasn't like the other kids, he loved getting hurt.

Niall never understood his obsession with pain, he liked to hurt himself with lighters and ropes. He'd wrap a rope around his arm so tight it would almost cut off the circulation, he'd burn the top of a lighter into his arm and when he was bored he'd scratch his leg till it was bleeding.

He always felt like the odd one out, until he met somebody new. Somebody who felt differently towards Niall than everybody else.

And once he found out about Niall's fascination and odd habits that boy felt something that you could only explain as excitement

WARNING: contains violence, BDSM, and sexual scenes or references


8. 08

I went upstairs, looking at Zayn's back

He was facing the wall and he sat on his bed with his legs crossed

I couldn't tell if he was upset or not but his head was down which I guess was a message enough

I got up onto the bed and hugged him front behind

"I'm not going home" I told him

"Why? I thought I was scary"

"You didn't mean to be" I mumbled "it just came out of nowhere and I-"

"Don't want to be my friend anymore"

"I do" I frowned "I am sorry"

"Don't apologise it's nothing to be sorry about"

I could see the frown on his face, and I just sighed and rest my chin on his shoulder

"Can I still stay the night?"

"If you want to"

"I can still sleep with you?"

He nodded

"Cool" I have a small smile

"What did my mom say to you?" He looked at me "did she tell you that I'm sensitive?"

I nodded

"I told her to stop telling people that" he muttered "I also told her to stop guilt tripping people into liking me"

Woah, his mom did it often?

"You don't have to listen to her" Zayn said annoyed "don't feel obligated to be my friend I can find another"

"But I can't"

He offered me a smile "you're my first proper friend"

"You are as well"


I nodded "you're a bit of a weird friend, but I like weird"

"I think you're a perfect friend"

I blushed and Zayn frowned, obviously confused

"I will be gentler with you" Zayn told me "I will try not to frighten you either, it's pretty obvious that if you're scared you don't like to get hurt"

I giggled a bit, and snuggled into him. He smiled and brought me into his lap, hugging me to his chest

"You're really nice" Zayn whispered

"Thank you" I whispered back "you're nice too"

"And you're cute"

I giggled again, hiding in his chest. When I peeked up he was smiling cutely

"I like that sound" he said softly

I smiled widely, and sat up proudly "really?"

"It's very pretty" Zayn's smile didn't leave his lips as he cupped my jaw "just like you..."

"I... I'm not that pretty" I gushed

"Maybe not but... I think you're pretty enough, so why does it matter?" Zayn asked me quietly

"It doesn't"

"Am I allowed to kiss you?"

I hesitated before nodding, he suddenly seemed very nervous. I wasn't sure why, but it was incredibly flattering.

He leant in, and pressed his lips to mine. It was gentle, but I just placed my hands on the back of his head to harden the kiss

He pulled back quickly "Niall I don't want to scare you again"

"It's just a kiss, Zayn" I said softly "it doesn't scare me"

"Oh" he looked like he really felt stupid

I leant back in and pushed my lips onto his. He cupped my face, kissing me rough but not hard.

It was nice, and when he pulled back I offered him a smile

"See? That wasn't so bad"

"It was nice" he smiled shyly

"You don't have to be gentle with me" I admitted "just don't be too rough"

"Okay" he nodded

He left a hickey under my jaw with my permission. It was tender but I didn't mind it

"Zayn, do you want to be my boyfriend?" I asked curiously

"Huh?" His face twisted

"I'm not asking you out" I told him softly "not unless you want me to but... I'm just curious because we're kissing and stuff"

"No" he shook his head

"Oh" I frowned

"Did you want me to?"

"I... No" I blatantly lied

"It's okay if you did" Zayn said quietly "it's normal to want a relationship"

"I don't" I continued

"I just... I don't do relationships" Zayn shrugged "they're not really my thing"

"Yeah, I understand"

"I'm sorry if I've disappointed you" he said sincerely "but nothing is going to change that"

I just nodded "can we... Never mind"

"No, go ahead" he encouraged me to speak

"I don't want to" I whispered

I went to climb out of his lap, but he gripped my hips, his eyes desperate

"You shouldn't silence yourself"

I just shook my head. Why did I suddenly feel so negative about being told that?

He pulled me back into his chest, and he hugged me tightly, resting his chin on my head

"I don't want you to leave me" he mumbled "you're all I have in London"

"You're all I've ever had" I said truthfully, feeling tears well in my eyes

"Well I'm not going to go anywhere" he said gently "I promise"


He nodded "I'd be stupid to leave you behind"

I sniffled, and he frowned "why're you crying?"

"No I just... I've never had anyone before" my voice cracked "my whole life people have just walked all over me and picked on me. I thought I didn't care but I guess that's because I thought I'd never have anybody"


"Well I haven't ever had anybody" I whispered "but now I have you and... I just can't believe it"

"Well you'd better believe it, pet"

Pet... That's what he called me on his phone.

I snivelled "I'll stop crying now, sorry"

Zayn just offered me the hem of his shirt and I giggled, wiping my eyes on his shirt

"Thanks, Zayn"

"Not a problem" he smiled "you hungry?"

"Yeah wh-"


"What the..." I was shocked

"It's 9" Zayn shrugged "we always eat now"

I just shook my head in disbelief, Zayn is so weird.

I scrambled downstairs before him. His mom asked how much I eat and she ended up serving loads

I had seconds and even thirds. Zayn's mom loved it, his dad gave an amused smile and Zayn didn't say a word.

Zayn's dad is quiet, much like Zayn at times and his mom? I like his mom, she's pretty and she's nice

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