3. Chapter 2
Let me tell you a story about some bullies. Typical. Everyone in stories seems to get picked on, right? But this time it is different. This time, it is the whole class, 28 students, against two girls. Two girls being me and my Lauren. She didn't get bullied. They called me names, anorexic due to me being skinny, ugly, nerd, all sorts of other names I refuse to repeat. They mocked me for hanging around with Lauren, yet they never bullied her. Which always confused me. They took my glasses and my bags, hid my earrings when I took them off for PE and they accused me of cheating when I got a high mark on my test. I know this isn't the worst bullying case in the world, but the fact is it had damaged me for life. I have no self-esteem and no confidence, and that's something I'll never get. I'll never believe I'm good enough. And that's due to 3 whole years of bullying. As well as the bullying, there were many other things happening in my life. At home, it was constant abuse. I cried myself to sleep every night and whenever I heard a crash in the kitchen, I woke up because I thought my mum was being murdered by him. Him being my biological dad, but I will never refer to him as "dad". He made a lot of noise, never satisfied, always slammed the doors or threw his fork in the sink just to make a statement. Just to show he was there and he wasn't giving up. Another time we finally escaped- me, my sister and my mum, we moved away and didn't tell him the address. He stalked us all the time, made a scene in the street and cried, acting like the victim. At this time I was young and although I knew he was a bully too, I felt sorry for him. I don't understand why now I look back, but I did. This was in the month of December when I was 10 years old. My sister spent Christmas with him and I was all alone. My mum was too depressed to get up. By the January, we were back home. He moved out to live with his friend. Me and my sister visited sometimes, she was easily brainwashed unlike me, probably because she was only 6 at the time. We had abuse support officers over who tried to help us and keep him away from us.
And whilst all this drama was happening in my life, there was this constant bullying. I had no escape. In my life, every place I could go was a bullying hell. That was the first time I experienced depression.