Ro never mentioned that Lauren isn't real. She kept mentioning her throughout her diary. It was a figment of her imagination. Her psychiatrists and doctors couldn't convince her otherwise but Lauren was like a shadow, a reflection of Ro's personality and his she saw herself. Lauren was a metaphor for her. She always described her personality through the use of Lauren. I don't think she realised this, it was just her inner English devil and her hallucinations coming together where she fixed her brain onto this certain idea, this certain character. Of course it wasn't healthy for her lifestyle and well-being, but then again I guess some people are just like that, just like Ro.
The thing is, I'm not an inspector. I don't spend my days binge watching Murder Mysteries, or CSI. No, I'm just an English nerd with a handful of conclusions, theories and ideas about the death of Rosie Wyatt. The thing is, she can't be dead. Someone who studied English language so closely with me for many years could not make such a grammatical mistake. Why would she end her diary with a semi-colon if she wanted to end her life? No. It doesn't make sense. The more I think it over in my head, the more theories I get, the more conclusions I draw to, and the more I want to investigate.
The strange thing is the police couldn't find her body. Her funeral was held differently to any I've ever been to; a red box with a glued-on photo of her face. We prayed, we sang hymns and we all left respectfully. Not many people turned up, but the locals were definitely gossiping about it for weeks. We all wore grey, I don't know why, why we didn't wear black was beyond me. Nobody told us to wear grey, but everyone I asked about it said we should wear grey. Probably because Ro's life was never just black or white, it was always a mixture. A jumble of a mess. Or the fact her life was just dull and grey. I'm not sure which, not yet anyway, not until I allow my creative English mind to conclude further.
Thinking about the funeral colours, I have now concluded why we wear the colours we do to celebrations. At a wedding, a bride wears white. White to show lightness, a happy, bright colour for a great occasion. It marks the day where she is lawfully bonded with the one she loves most. We tend to wear black at a funeral, not because black is a mourning colour, but because black shows darkness and bitter times. However, linking to yin and yang, there is never a moment where there is black without white, or white without black. The groom at a wedding tends to wear black, or the men wear black suits, showing the possible dark aspects of a wedding. Churches tend to have bits of white, or white flowers are left on a coffin of a dead person, showing that there is a lighter side as now, they are able to be happy in heaven- if you believe that sort of thing.
At Ro's funeral, I never remember seeing any white or any black. Neither at her wedding. She wore a pale pink dress and made Ben wear a baby blue suit. At her funeral, everyone wore grey. So why is this? Did Ro's life not contain light and dark sides, were they all just grey and dull? Was she just one sided even though she saw Lauren in the mirror? It makes absolutely no sense, and I am determined to use this knowledge to try fix something together. Maybe this is evidence that I've overlooked. The colours in Ro's life representing something. Maybe they showed her the path. I don't know what path, but some sort of path.
Without analysing further, I think it's fair to conclude the fact that Ro's death seems suspicious and slightly unreal. I'm determined to find her body, wether it be dead or alive. I started on the cliff she apparently jumped off. Searching around, I could find no hints or indications that Ro was even on the edge of this cliff. There were no fresh footprints or fingerprints. There were no bits of cotton clothing, no pieces of paper or ink drops on the ground. There was no body at the bottom of the cliff either. None of it made any sense at all. How could you be dead yet there is no body to be found? How could you be at the top of a cliff yet leave no evidence? Nothing adds up. It gives me a headache to think about Ro and the way she has 'died'. I spend many nights drinking coffee to keep myself awake so I can analyse her death. I scrutinise all the newspapers and glare at the pictures of the cliff and Ro's smiling, slightly possessed-looking face. I try to think of a good excuse or a reasonable conclusion, yet I can't come to one. I'm determined to find out what has happened to Ro. And hopefully, with daily trips to the cliff, I should be able to find some evidence. Evidence to show that Ro is a psychotic creature who still exists. And that she's not dead. She has faked it all just to make herself known. Why? I've no idea. Maybe "Lauren" possessed her to an extent where she became such a psycho bitch that she had co comprehension of the madness.