all the words for pink

"tell me it will be okay," i say. "tell me nothing will ever change."

jamie's eyelids flutter, and her hair is fanned out like an angel's halo. "sweetheart, if that's your wish, then nothing ever will. nothing will ever change."

i always loved her for that lie.

**this is a really complex-seeming project that i've been working on for almost 2 years, in a thousand different forms. it kind of sucks but i kind of like it, so everything's okay (: was called silver stars but i'm an indecisive little brat


5. atomic tangerine

i am five years old going on six, and eden has finally left.


she left a tiny note on cream colored stationary, and nothing else. i am not allowed to read the note. i am not allowed to do much of anything.


marlene is always biting the inside of her cheek. at least eliza and johnathan have stopped arguing. that is only because he has gone away again, to work. my father is always gone away on work. but he wasn't when eden was here.


i am glad because i don't think i will ever feel very lonely. it is very easy to feel lonely in this house, i think, but i won't ever because i have jay. that's how it is. i have jay and jay has me and it will always be like that, even when we're all crinkled and have to eat applesauce because our teeth are all rotted. i do not like applesauce. this is the reason i brush my teeth twice every day.


there is a new baby, here. his name is everett. i do not pay him much attention, because i do not pay very many people much attention. when eden was here, eliza's stomach got very round, but i guess not that round  for awhile, because she was a month from due and still thought none of us had noticed.


alison didn't know what was going on at all, and called eliza fat, and marlene called alison stupid, and i said to shut up. and then jay said you shouldn't sayfat or stupid or shut up (especially fat and especially to your own mother). and then marlene said shut up again, but this time to jay.


so eliza finally told us she was going to be having a baby, and that she was going to name him everett, after the mountain, so that he would be tall (i do not know why she wanted so badly for him to be tall, because when i started to ask, jay kicked me under the table and marlene said "demerol"). nevertheless, everett he was named.

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