author's note: this is the official first chapter of 'Survivors', so please bear with me while the plot line is still progressing. outfit is in the external link.
"Meghan! Let's go before you make me late. The boys are still pissed about what happened the last time." I heard Ashton yell from the kitchen, probably helping himself to the food in the fridge.
"I'll be down in just a minute!" I yelled back as I finished doing my eyeliner. I look at the clock and it reads, 3:37. Shit! I didn't think I was running that late. I sigh. Oh well. I've done worse.
Let me tell you a bit about Ashton. He has been my best friend since we were in 1st grade, and we have been inseparable ever since. Him being his overprotective self, he had decided since my boyfriend Sam and I had broken up a several months ago, he was going to do everything he could with me to ensure that I 'wasn't alone' as he had put it. Today, Ashton is taking me to watch his band, 5 Seconds of Summer, rehearse. They are crazy talented, and let me just say, his bandmates are some of the craziest yet most adorable people I've ever met.
First there's Calum who is basically an adorable little puppy, then Luke who you think is all shy and quiet, but is quite outgoing if you ask me, and lastly there's Michael, who is super quirky and practically has a new hair color every week. But those boys are just like family to me, and I love them to death, so I can't complain too much.
"Meghan, if you aren't downstairs in 30 seconds, I swear, I'm going to drag you down here myself."
"I'm ready. I'm ready. Don't get your panties in a wad, you shithead." I said laughing as I came downstairs, seeing that he was finishing off what was left my leftover pizza.
"Seriously, Ash? I was going to eat that you know." I frowned. "Now I'm going to starve, and it'll be all your fault."
"Ha ha, you're so funny," he said while making a face at me. "And of course I knew. Why do you think I ate it?" He said with a laugh as he started ushering me towards the door. "I just live to torture you."
"Is that sarcasm I'm sensing young man?" I laughed while I made my way to his car.
"Why yes. Yes it is, because we are now 45 minutes late." Ashton sighed as he buckled his seat belt. "I mean, it's definitely an improvement from the last time, but the boys are going to kill me if I'm late ever again."
"No they're not. Besides, they wouldn't be able to get anything done without you. You are the one who always keeps them in line, and because you're the best damn drummer Australia has ever seen sweetie." I said in hopes of lessening his irritation towards me.
"I'm pretty sure it's you who puts us all in our place babe. And as for the last part, hell yeah I am." Ashton laughed.
As we made our way to Luke's, we were having the time of our lives singing to the radio. That is until a certain song came on, and reminded me of a certain asshole with whom I never want to see again. My laughter ceased immediately. Ashton must have notice the change in my behavior because he quickly changed the station, and became very quiet next to me.
After a few moments of silence, Ashton spoke, "You know I think Sam was a real ass for cheating on you with Cassie. I mean, she was your best mate, and she still did it to you. I don't know how you can still be friends with that bitch."
"Ash, don't talk about them like that."
That really pissed him off.
"Why? Why can't I talk shit about the two people that broke my best friend's heart? And how can you still defend them? " I couldn't help but jump at the raising of his voice. "They destroyed you Megs." His voice had lowered significantly for that last sentence, and I couldn't help the small smile on my face upon hearing the nickname he had given me all those years ago. "It kills me seeing you like this. It breaks my heart having to watch you go through this."
"And it's not just me," He interrupted. "it's the lads too. You're like a sister to them, and no brother wants to see their sister so upset. I can tell you that from personal experience."
"I get that it affects them too, but I'm still her friend because I'm not going to let an idiotic ass ruin a good friendship, and I know that you don't understand why I did tha-"
He cut me off, "No Meghan, I don't understand! I think I would be able to if you would actually talk to me about it, and not act like it doesn't exist because 'you don't want to think about it.'"
"Why are you so hell bent on me talking to you about it? Why do you feel the need to know every aspect of my life Ashton?" I said severely confused with him.
Ashton simply deferred my question, "Oh great, we're here."
"Are you seriously not going to answer me?"
"Nope." He sighed.
"You're so aggravating." I groaned.
"But you love me anyway!" He yelled as he walked up the driveway.
While the boys were playing their newest song, I kept thinking about what happened in the car earlier. I don't understand why Ashton is so angry at Cassie and Sam. He wasn't the one who had to find his best friend and boyfriend screwing after coming home from a summer in London. This shouldn't affect him. I just wish he would stop trying to get me to talk it out with him because I just don't think I'm 100% ready to let go of that part of my life. It was a part of me for a long time, you know? I mean, Sam and I started dating when we were sixteen, and here we are, more than two years later, broken up because he couldn't not think with his dick for more than 2 seconds.
My thoughts were interrupted when Michael sat on couch behind me, and started playing with my hair, "Your hair is so soft Meggsie. How do you get it to do that?" He said after a few minutes.
"Michael, are you high or something?" I laughed, looking up at the boy attempting to braid my hair. "You're knotting my hair up Michael, stop." I whined. All he did was giggle at my childishness.
"No I am not! I'm just curious because mine doesn't feel like that. Like is it just a girl thing or?" I couldn't help but laugh at the defense he made for himself.
"Shouldn't you be rehearsing? I mean I'm all for someone playing with my hair, but I think your band needs you more than I do right now."
"Michael! Stop flirting with the pretty girl, and help us out!" Calum yelled as he tried to get our attention.
I gasped, "You think I'm pretty? My life is now complete. Thank you, Calum."
"You're such a dork." Luke retorted. Calum laughed at this, but I just looked at him and feigned hurt.
"I can't believe you just said that to me Lucas." I said while wiping a fake tear from my cheek.
Ashton stopped our banter before it could go on any further, "Guys we really should get back to work if we want to get this song finished by the weekend."
Just as I was about to lay back on the couch, my ringtone started to blare throughout the room. "I'll be back in a few," I told the boys as I walked outside.
"What do you want Sam?" I sneered viciously over the phone.
"Hello, love." He greeted. "I wanted to ask you if you would meet me. So we could talk?" He sounded so broken, then again, he deserves to hurt after what he did.
"And why should I do that?" I asked with skepticism.
"Because I love you! And I know you still love me too! I fucked up when I slept with Cassie, and I couldn't be sorrier for it. I love you so much M. You have to talk to me about this. I'm begging you, please."
Great. He was trying to make me pity him, and sadly, it was working. I know I should say no, and not give him the chance to reel me back in, it's just, what if talking to him helps me get over him for good? What if this is what I really need to do if I want to find closer?
"I'll meet you. But don't think that I'm going to forgive you, because I'm not." I said assertively. Hopefully his pea-sized brain can actually remember that.
Sam sighed in relief, "Oh, thank God! I thought you were going to turn me down."
"I really should have, but I'm doing this to help myself. Not us. We're not going to get back together. No matter how pitiful you may seem. I'll see you in 20." I ended the call before I could hear his response. Guess I'm going to talk to him sooner that I originally thought.
"Hey guys, I gotta head out." I said as I grabbed my bag off the table. "My parents need me to watch the demon children before they go to camp tomorrow. My parents decided to take a date weekend to 'get away' because that's a thing apparently, so I'll talk to you boys later."
I laughed as the guys just mumbled a response back.
I didn't have to truly watch the mongrels until later, but this just gives me a better excuse to leave. I mean, do you seriously think they would let me go if I said, 'Hey, I'm going to meet my cheating ex-boyfriend in a few, but don't worry, I'm not going to be stupid enough to listen to his rubbish?' No? Me either.
As I was walking down the drive, I heard someone running up behind me.
It was Ashton, "Do you need a ride?" He asked, slightly out of breath.
"Thanks, but I could really use the fresh air. It'll help me think." I sighed, "I'll see you later, yeah?"
"Yeah. See you later." He smiled.
"Good." I kissed his cheek before making my way down the street.
I had spotted Sam in the café before I had even crossed the street. You could see the bright blue jumper I had given him perfectly through the glass window. Of course he would have the audacity to wear something I had gifted him. Aright, let's do this.
I made my way to the booth where Sam was sitting, and saw he had already ordered for me.
He looked up from his hands when he heard me sit down. "I-I didn't know what you would want, so I got you a Trailblazer. I know it used to be your all-time favorite." Sam smiled.
"Thanks." I took a deep breath before looking at him. Really, truly looking at him. His once bright blue eyes were dull and lifeless, and he looked like he hadn't gotten any sleep in days. A part of me wants to ask him, but I know the moment I do, I'll forget the reason why I came.
"You wanted to talk?" I asked before sipping on my coffee. "Let's talk."
Sam looked at me perplexed, "Right, right. I um, I wanted to apologize for, ya know."
"No actually. I don't know. I don't know what you're apologizing for." I said with a venomous tone. "Is it the fact that you slept with my best friend, and probably many other girls too, the entire time I was in London? Oh! Or is the fact that you broke my heart into a million pieces? Because I just can't decide which it seems to be." I was infuriated at this point. First, he calls me all heartbroken wanting to talk, and now he can't even admit what he did out loud! I have never felt so overcome by emotions in my life. I was shaking in anger, yet crying from being reminded of the memory of finding the two of them together. This is absolutely ridiculous.
Sam looked at me befuddled. "Look, I know what we did hurt you. Every time I think about the look on your face that day, and it absolutely kills me. I hate that it happened, but it did, and now I am begging you for another chance." He said while taking my small hands into his own.
I scoffed, "What another chance that you're going to fuck up again? No way."
"I promise that I'm not going to do that again. I just really want to work things ou-"
"Have you gone bonkers?" I yanked my hands out of his "All you have done this whole time was talk a ton of bollocks! I don't want to work things out with you Sam! The only reason I agreed to meeting with you was to talk about what happened, move on, and never look back. There is no fixing this!" I stood up and grabbed for my bag, before saying, "My life was in complete shambles because of you, and I have barely gotten the parts put back in place. I will never forgive you for what you've done."
"But you forgave her?" He anything but yelled.
"Yes I forgave her! Because she actually came to me that night --unlike you-- and apologized about a thousand times until I finally listened to her." I spat back. "Cassie and I cried for hours that night. Me because my boyfriend cheated on me, and her because she had thought she lost her best friend for good. You know that night, she told me that she had never felt dirtier in her life than she did the moment she realized what she had done with you." I laughed devilishly. "And here you thought I was going to forgive you if put on a sad face, maybe shed some tears. Newsflash Samuel, you don't always get what you want." I turned around, and walked out of the café with a smirk upon my face and my held high.
I can't tell you how relieving that was. I feel like I can breathe better knowing that I got everything I have wanted to say, for months now, off my chest. I just hope I'm rid of the wanker for good.
I cursed as I saw Ashton's car was parked in my driveway. There's no doubt that he knows why I left rehearsal early, and now I'm going to get my ass handed to me by him. He's probably waiting in my room to yell at me. I inhaled deeply before crossing the threshold of my home, and saw the note my mum taped to the coat rack reading: 'Meghan, I hope you don't mind , but we asked Ashton if he could help you for the weekend. We didn't want you to be alone. Plus it seems like you two have some things to work out. Love you darling, Mum'
Ashton must have heard me come in because he was waiting for me as soon as I reached the top of the stairs. He didn't wait any longer to started his lecture, "You went to see him! What the hell were you thinking Meghan?"
I grimaced. Not wanting Kenlie and Zach to hear us fighting. Not like it mattered anyway. He was furious, and he was going to let it be known. "Okay, I know you're mad, but-"
"Oh I am more than mad. I am livid at the fact that you went to see the bastard. After everything! My God Meghan. How could you have been so stupid? Is getting your heart broken by him once not enough?" He shouted. Wow. He really knew where to stick the knife on that one.
I looked down at my feet, "I didn't take him back if that's what you're thinking." I practically whispered. Knowing if I had talked any louder, my voice would fail me. "I told him off, I called him crazy, and I said some really nasty things." I looked back at Ashton with tears in my eyes. "One part of me feels great because this weight has been lifted off of me, but a bigger part is crushed because this means that everything Sam and I had the past two years, is over." I was full on sobbing at this point. I didn't think I could cry over him anymore. I thought I had used up all of my tears months ago. I thought I was done with everything involving him.
Ashton was quick to take me into his embrace, and practically carried me to my room. I tried to stop the tears from falling as he sat me down on my bed, and knelt in front of me. "Princess, why didn't you just tell me? I could have gone with you. Make sure he didn't try anything."
"I wanted to do it on my own! I knew you would freak out, and I just wanted to feel like I could actually do something without needing rescuing. I knew the moment you found out where I was going, you would have made me feel like I was making a mistake. That I was an imbecile." I said through my sobs. "And I was right. Just look at what happened not even two minutes ago."
Ashton sighed, "I overreacted, and I'm so sorry for making you feel like that. I just wish I had known" He wiped a few stray tears with his thumb. "And I don't think you're an imbecile. In fact you are the most intelligent girl I have ever met. Anyone would be lucky to know what's going on up there." I smiled at his attempt at lightening my mood. "Hey there's that pretty smile!"
I sniffled, "Thanks, Ash."
"Anytime princess." He smiled. "I'm still hurt that you didn't tell me the truth, but I think I can see past that. Ya know, given the circumstances."
I laughed at that, "Well given the circumstances, I say you stay here all night tonight, and help me watch Things 1 & 2." I looked up at him with puppy dog eyes.
"Okay, fine! Fine. I'll help. J-Just stop making that face." Ashton groaned.
Ashton and I had tried absolutely everything we could to get the kids to sleep, but they wouldn't stat in their beds. They came running downstairs while I was cleaning up our dessert disaster in the kitchen, asking to stay up later. Of course we complied. It is about 4 AM, and they have just now gone to sleep.
"Meghan?" Ashton whispered in hopes of not waking Kenlie, who was cuddled into his chest, fast asleep.
"Yeah?" I whispered back.
"I have a proposition." I hummed in response. "I'll tuck Kenlie in while you handle Zach and then we go to bed I'm exhausted."
I yawned, "Sounds like a plan."
He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God."
"Come on, the quicker we get them tucked in, the quicker we can go to sleep."
While waiting for Ashton to come back to my room, I changed into some pajamas, and was digging through my dresser for a pair Ash's pants he had left here. I finally found them at the bottom of the third drawer.
"I found you a pair of joggers to sleep in." I said when I heard my bedroom door open then close.
"Thanks for letting me stay tonight." He said before going to my bathroom to change.
"It's no biggie. I can't believe it took so long for Kenlie and Zach to fall asleep. Remind me to never babysit again, I'm absolutely knackered." I exhaled while crawling under my comforter. Ashton wasn't too far behind me either.
"Same goes for me. Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but sometimes they can be too much to handle." He moaned into the pillow.
Once he was settled, Ashton pulled to his chest and said, "I love you."
"I love you too Ash." I said after placing my head on his chest. "Goodnight."
"Night princess." That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning to the sound of my four idiotic friends in the kitchen. Making a mess no doubt. I unwillinglyheaved myself out of bed. With how loud they are being, I'll never get back to sleep. I went to check on the kids, only for them to not be in their rooms. I figure the boys already have them up and ready to go.
" And Sleeping Beauty has awoken!" Michael exclaimed once I was seated at the kitchen table.
"Oh you're so funny, Mike. You deserve a prize." I snickered to him. "What are you guys even doing here? It's 8 in the morning."
Luke answered me first, "We, uh, wanted to check on you."
"Why would you need to check on me? I'm fine." I laughed.
"Because of what happened with Sam yesterday." Calum quickly interjected.
Wait, what? How the hell do they know what happened? Then it hit me. Ashton told them. "You told them?" I looked to Ashton, eyes as big as saucers, waiting for him to elaborate.
Ashton cringed. "Are you mad?"
"No. Not really. I'm just glad you guys care enough to make sure I'm okay." This is probably the sweetest thing they've done for me. Well, aside from the time the carnival was in town last year, and they all competed to see who could win me the most plushies.
"We love you too much to let you go through this alone babes." Calum chimed in. The other 3 agreed with him.
Michael clapped his hands together, "I hate to ruin the moment, but are we ever going to eat? I'm starved."
"Of course you are." Luke retorted.
After dropping the kids off at camp for the weekend, the lads decided they wanted to bake something. I figured a cake would be easiest to make. I couldn't have been more wrong. Michael was supposed to be making the batter, but he turned the mixer on full blast, and now batter is all over the island. Boy am I going to have one hell of a mess to clean.
"Michael, stop! You're making a mess!" I laughed while turning the KitchenAid off. "How about we play video games instead."
"Best thing you've ever said."
"I'll just clean this up later." I said ushering us all out of the kitchen and into the media room.
"I call first rotation!" Calum and Luke screamed, running to get the controllers before the rest of us.
"That's no fair." Michael whined.
"Don't worry Mikey, you'll get plenty of chances to beat our asses at any game we play. Especially mine." I assured him. I love how intense he gets about video games. It's adorable that he loves them that much. "You know how bad I am at these."
"That's true." I looked at Michael offended.
Luke furrowed his eyebrows, "Then why do you have 3 game consoles?"
"My parents used to be die hard gamers when they were our age. They still come in here sometimes when they think we're all asleep. I guess it makes them feel youthful." I admit. "It's refreshing to see them act young again. It reminds me that they're not always the hard-working doctors everyone sees them as."
"And you're related to them how?" Calum laughed at my revelation.
"Why didn't I know this?!" Ashton exclaimed. "That is vital information that any of us should've known!"
"Are you guys seriously interested in my parents' youth right now?" I asked, eyebrow raised.
"No." They all mumbled.
"Now that's settled, let's play."
"Oh, I'm so beating your ass Meghan."Oh Michael, always so eager.
"Alright, kitchen and media room are clean." I sighed fatigued.
"Good. Now we can relax for the rest of the night."
Almost six hours later, the guys had left Ashton and I to clean the disaster we made throughout the house. At least we don't have to worry about little ones running around the house for the night. "I say you go home and get some sleep. You barely got any last night." I say placing my hand on his cheek, rubbing the dark circles under his eyes. I don't know how I didn't notice them before.
"One night won't kill me. Besides, I told your mum that I would stay here with you. Keep you safe." He said as he dragged me up the stairs to my room.
"Ash, it looks like it's been more than one night since you've gotten a decent amount of sleep." I said after we had changed into our pj's. I'm so confused as to why he was acting like it was nothing. "What's going on with you? And don't give me some shit excuse either Ashton. I want the truth."
He looked shocked that I had demanded him to tell me. If it's the only way for him to actually say it out loud to someone, so be it. "I'm just stressed. That's all." He noticed the pointed look I was giving him. "The guys and I have already been so busy with new songs and the label, now I've started stressing about you."
Okay, if I thought I was confused before, I most definitely am now. "Me? Why are you stressing over me? I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."
"I know you can. It's just- ugh!" He groaned, "This may not be the right time, seeing as you just officially ended things with Sam yesterday, but I'm-I'm in love with you, like I have for a few years now. And seeing all of the bullshit that he put you through, made me realize that I can't not tell you how I feel about you."
This leaves me flabbergasted. I have no idea what to say to him. So, I just stand there, staring at him with my mouth agape, speechless. He quickly took my silence as a rejection, and started babbling nonsense. "I get it. I'm just the best friend to you. You'll never feel the same way. I don't know why I thought we could become something."
"Hold on! You've been in love with me for years, and you never said anything?!" I yelled.
"I didn't want to screw anything up. And now I have, so if you don't mind-"
"Why do you think you screwed up? You didn't ask me what I thought." He hesitantly looked up from his feet and to me. "Yeah I just moved on from Sam yesterday, but that doesn't mean that I can't date someone else."
"What are you saying Meghan?"
I sighed, "I'm saying, that you should let me find out how I feel towards you. Now, I'm not saying we should start dating right here and now, but until I know for sure how I feel, we stay friends. We do what we normally would, and not worry about this until we absolutely have to. Understand?"
Ashton looked at me in relief. "Yeah. I can live with that, but you have to promise to not shut me out. No matter what. If you want us to act normal, don't exclude me from your life until you decide. That's not fair to me or you."
Okay, he has a very good point. But how can I figure out if I genuinely love him or not while hanging out with him all the time? That sounds damn near impossible. I want to agree, but how can I be sure he won't get the boys to influence my decision? My God, since when did my life become something out of a teen romance novel?
I contemplate on what I should say before deciding on something partially the truth, and partially a lie. "I promise I won't do that to you. Can we go to bed now? This conversation has me beat." I said while making myself comfortable in bed waiting for him to join me.
another author's note: So this is the end of the first chapter. I'm sorry if it feels kind of all over the place and lengthy. I'm just trying to get the plot line to really come together before I write anything majorly important. I wasn't planning for Ashton to drop his 'I love you' bomb so soon, but it made some sense due to the time skip after the break up. Again, I ask you to please bear with me while the plot advances. I have so many ideas on how to make it more interesting. If you guys want to share some of your own ideas with me, my message box is always open. Anyways, I hope guys you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll let you know when to expect chapter two to be posted.