Don't judge moi! I am not really good at humor!
The owl asked the other owl, "How do you spell hoo?" "Who?" "No, other hoo," "Sound hoo," "Yes." "H2O." "But that's a TV show."
A bear walks into the bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a pint of beer and.....................a packet of peanuts," The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?"
A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos, so she asks him what it's for. He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."The blonde immediately buys one for herself. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"She replies, "Soup and ice cream."
Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A: To get to the second hand shop.
Yo' mama so stupid, she walked into an antique shop and asked, "What's new?"
Height makes all the difference. Tall guy walks around with a trench coat, he looks like Wyatt Earp or something cool like that. I put one on, you know what I look like? I look like the Hamburglar.
You're so stupid that you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.
I hope you know CPR because you're taking my breath away. (This is my favorite by far)
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat.