Ella woke up the next morning when her phone vibrated, she looked at it, it was Tom calling, she ignored it and turned on to her other side.
But before she could fall asleep it vibrated again, she didn't want tomtalk to him.
She sighted, looking at the ceiling, her whole body was hurting, but nothing hurt worse than her heart, she still couldn't believe he had treated her like that.
When the phone rang for the eight time she grabbed it, but she didn't let him talk. "Fuck of Tom, is it so hard to understand that I don't want to talk to you ever, we are over".
She put down the phone before he could answer, she couldn't hear his voice right know.
The worst thing about last night was, that the moment he walked away from her, was the moment she realised she loved him and the moment she decided she could never see him again.
She got a message and she knew it was Tom before reading it. > Please Ella, talk to me, I am so sorry, I was an idiot, please let me explain <
She sighted and answered him. > no Tom, I forgive you okay, but you need to leave me alone, I can't do this anymore <
Ella rolled into fetus position and cried again, why had she been so stubborn ? Why had she been so afraid of her past coming back to haunt her, when everyone else appearently had forgotten.
Tom had been nothing but patient, he had catered to her every whim and accepted her changing like the wind, he was so sweet, loving and fantastic in every possible way, but she had keept pushing him away, playing his feelings and stepping on him until he had finally broken.
She could never forgive herself for ruining it, throwing something that amazing away without giving it a chance at all, now it was to late, she couldn't change what had happened or what she had turned him into.
She heard the doorbell, but she didn't give it a thought before she heard someone coming down the hallway, and then Tom ripped the door open.
Ella sat up, she wouldn't want him to se her like this, to know how much he hurt her. "Tom what are you doing here ? I told you to leave me alone".
"And I am not going to let you push me around anymore telling me what to do". He looked at her determined and closed the door.
She was just about to tell him that she had never done that, but she realised that that was exactly what she had been doing, maybe not directly, but in so many other ways.
She sighted. "I guess I don't have a choice then, what is it you have to tell me Tom ? I thought we kind of put everything in its place last night".
"Ella I am so sorry about last night, I was way way out of line, it was so beyound acceptable, I can't even begin to explain, I wasn't drunk enough to pull that card". He scratched his neck.
"Your stunt in the alley Tom, that was somethin else, but then you decided to go and kiss Vickie, that sat at new record for low, I don't get it that she didn't slapped you into next week". Ella felt her chest tighten with pain.
He sat down on the edge of her bed and she moved away. "No I don't get that either, she might not have been very bright, but no one deserve to be treated like that".
"She obviously forgave you, what does she think about you being here ? Ella looked at him, the thought of him with Vickie made her feel physical ill.
He shook his head. "I told her it was over just after that kiss, I just couldn't do it anymore when she meant nothing to me".
"I bet that for her it is more than enough consultation to be able to tell all her friends that she fuck Tom Hiddleston". Anna knew she sounded bitchy, but she didn't care.
"Then she would be lying". He just said calmly, she looked up and his eyes caught hers, she knew he was telling the truth.
She didn't know what to say. "Oh I just thought, I mean the way she was clinging to you and such".
"Yeah, she was really clingy". He looked like it was a very unpleasant memory and shuddered.
They just sat there in silence for a while, the Tom said. "I was so stupi, I thought it could distract me from the pain, I missed you so dahm much in Morocco, it literally felt like you ripped out most of my heart when you rejected me".
Ella felt so guilty, but she didn't say anything, she just waited for him to continue. "When I realised it wasn't working at all, I got the even more fucked up Idea that if you saw me with someone else, then maybe you would want me, but you can't force feelings that doesn't exists".
"That really was stupid Tom and I am so sorry that my actions made you think you had to do that". He would have been better of never meeting her, she thought.
He bit his lip and a single tear ran down his cheek. "And that thing in the alley, I am truly sorry, I panicked, I felt that I was loosing you and that seemed like the only way you wanted me, but I was to hurt, to angry and I hurt you".
"I am a bit sore, but otherwise okay, but it really was fucked up Tom, what would have happened to your career if someone saw us ?" She gently dried his tear away.
He looked up at her. "I was hoping you might forgive me and we could start over as friends, I fully accept that thats all you want, and I promise not to ever try to be anything more".
Ella just didn't get it, he didn't hate her, he should hate her, instead he was willing to once again push himself in the background to be what she demanded of him, but she couldn't let him do that. "No Tom".
"No what". He looked confused and worried, like he didn't quite understand.
She shook her head. "No I can't be your friend Ton, it just wouldn't work for me".
"Oh okay, I understand, I better go then". His lip was trembling and his eyes was getting frighteningly misty as he turned to walk out.
She grabbed his shoulder and he flinched, making a sound of pain, and she remembered she had bit him really hard. "Tom, I can't be your friend, because my feelings are so much more than friendly".
"What are you saying ?" He looked very confused, like he was trying to connect the dots in his head, but still could se the picture.
She smiled softly and the butterflies were tumbling around her stomach as she said. "Tom, I love you".