Louis and I were out at dinner. I'd gotten out of the hospital ten days ago, and I've been planning this date for a while.
Today was the day I was going to tell him it was all just a prank. And a little bit more than that.
I was nervous, of course, but I knew I needed to tell him sooner than later, because the longer it goes on, the harder and harder it would be for me to tell him, and the angrier and angrier he would be when I told him.
I was hoping he wouldn't be angry, besides, he'd always play stupid pranks on my and pick on me.
The two of us were sitting in a little pub, with a lot of fans and paparazzi waiting outside.
I felt bad for the girls out there because I was spending time with Lou and they security probably wouldn't even let him talk to any of them or take pictures or sign things.
But I can't focus on that. I needed to focus on telling Louis.
"Are you going to be able to talk to the girls waiting out there?" I asked him as we waited for our food.
"I don't know. It's up to Jared whether or not he thinks it's safe. I would love to go and see them, but it's not really my choice."
"They really do control your life, don't they?"
"They try to, but I don't let them control everything."
"What don't they control?" I asked and he blushed.
"How I feel about you. How I feel about becoming a dad. How much I want you to remember everything."
This was it. This was the time to tell him.
"Lou, promise not to be mad at me if I tell you something?"
He got a really worried look on his face. "I promise."
"I do remember."
Louis eyes got wide. He looked furious, scared and happy at the same time. Then he did something I didn't expect.
He got out of his chair and got down onto one knee. The girls that were watching outside the pub started screaming and swearing.
He pulled a ring box out of his pocket, and as he opened it, I finished what else I wanted to say to him.
"I remember everything Louis." He got a confused look on his face, but he stayed where he was, on the ground in front of me.
"What do you mean?"
"I remember what you told me in my coma, or at least some of it." Lou looked terrified. He knew exactly what I was talking about.
"Brittany, I can explain," he said as he started to stand up.
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? You should have told me the moment you saw me!" Me voice was starting to rise and tears were falling from my eyes. There was no one in the restaurant besides some security and some of the staff.
"I'm sorry Brittany. I know I should've told you."
"Yeah, you should've." I paused for a moment to regain my composer before I started talking again. Louis was standing in front of me, crying harder than I was.
I knew I should still be furious about him not telling be about Brett, but I couldn't stand seeing him cry.
I stepped forward until my rounded stomach touched his flat one. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him to me.
"But it's okay," I said quietly. "At least I know now."
"I'm so sorry."
"I forgive you. Do you want to go meet him?"
"I would love to," he said, and we headed to the back door where I car was waiting.
We got tot Saint Paul's cemetery. We held hands as we walked down the rows.
"You know, I did something a lot like this in my dream," I told Louis as we sat down in front of Brett's grave.
"What do you mean?" Louis asked and I shrugged.
"I dreamed that our little girl was a still born." I told him as I leaned against my chest. "Her grave was right there." I pointed to the spot to the right of where we were sitting. "Her grave said, 'My Baby. May 5th. I'll love you forever.'" I felt tears coming to my eyes and Louis wrapped his arms around my stomach and started to rub it.
"Well, nothing is going to happen to our baby girl," he promised me and I nodded. "Now, tell my about Brett."
I smiled and nodded.
"He was sweet and adorable, like all babies were. He had just learned to walk and he was going around everywhere, going through everything, chewing on anything he could find. He hit his head when he was starting to walk, so he had a little scar in this left eyebrow. He wasn't paying attention to the table in front of him and just walked right into it." I said to Lou who had tears on his cheeks, while I had tears running down my face and dripping off of my chin.
"He had light blue eyes, just like his father, and dark brown hair like me. He had my nose and your cheekbones. I always kept his hair shaggy because he looked cutest that way, and he liked it like that. Mostly, even though I wouldn't admit it to anyone other than you, I kept his hair messy and long because that what I remembered his fathers hair looked like."
Louis kissed the back of my neck and whispered, "I'm sorry." I just nodded.
"He would have loved to meet you. He loved to meet new people. He started talking at an early age. His first world was mumma, like a lot of the boys his age. His best friend was Collin. Brett was a few weeks older than him, but they were the best of friends. Collin's dad was a few years older than me and his girlfriend dumped him with the baby, and everyone always joked about how the two of us were going to end up together, but we both knew that wasn't true.
"Brett loved the color orange, and he loved any food that was orange. Oranges, mangos, sweet potato's, carrots, cantaloupe, you name it, he loved it. His favorite show was Mickey Mouse Club House, and he would always mumbled around to the song, trying to learn it. He would always attempt to sing along to any song that played, and I bet I can guess where he got that from," I told Louis as I looked at him and he chuckled. "I really wish you could've met him. He would've loved you," I told him with eyes full of tears.
He responded the same way. "I with I could've met him. I known I would've loved him."