Priority One

You are on call, you head to your assignment not knowing what to expect. what you find horrifies you. But you can not let others see that. People need you. People are relying on not the things you head, listened to or seen, people are relying on you and what you know you know. So what are you going to do? How are you going to do it? How will your actions affect others?


4. Heart Attack

Your heart ticks, constantly, like a self-adjusting metronome. Constantly ticking the seconds until its eventual death, destruction. All the while, never tiering, never feeling pain, never knowing for itself, how many beats it has left, how much time it has, how many beats it’s done.

We take it for granted how simple the hearts function is, how little it actually does. It’s one function, to keep us alive, its one method, pumping, forcing blood out and sucking it in, yet without these two incredibly simple functions we would no longer exist, our issued would die, calls would necrotise, we would become hypoxic, asphyxiated, we would stop breathing, we would give up. Our hearts serve as the bodies’ life beacon, constantly saying, keep living, keep sucking in air, blood, absorbing nutrients and keep expelling waste. Keep thinking, keep wondering, keep yearning, keep asking why, how, when and what? And never stop beating.

But things do go wrong, things can stop working, things can bet blocked, damaged. It is in human nature to fail, make mistakes, get tiered, loose our focus, become ill and yes even die.

When am artery, a conduit for the essence that keeps this heart ticking, gets blocked, constricts or is occluded. Its cuts off air; cutting off the arms gripping life. Letting the dark smog wrap itself around us, slowly.

First, tachycardia sets in. the heart speeds up, for no apparent reason. Your thinking, what? I’m just sitting here, not doing anything except breathing. You begin to panic, get nauseous, feel short of breath, as if your body thinks it’s running, running away from death. You begin to sweat, breath fast, shallow, difficult. The pain hits you square in the chest, like a football has sucker punched you. But it’s not leaving, it’s pressing, constricting. You can’t breathe; your hands and feet go numb. Your vision dims, tunnels, you have one circle left of vision, through which everything is small, far away, as though you are falling away from your grip on life. Your hands are sweaty, slipping. You try to hold on, your clench your fists. But you can’t get them away from your chest. You lose the feeling in your legs, you can’t hold yourself up, and your head is swimming, spinning, throbbing as is your chest. You can’t fight any more, you dint have the strength. You fall to your knees, then back, tipping, pitching. Falling away. You try to utter the word for help. You implore someone anyone two smash the glass; pull you out of this burning out of control car that is your body. But it’s impenetrable.

The last effort to get out costs you that last bit of energy.

You can’t get air in, or out.

You are blue.

You are dead. 

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