After making my dress the lady at the counter puts it in a black closet bag, and I pay for it, smiling as we get on the train heading for Hogarts. Abraxas takes a seat next to me, and smiles when he sees the bag. Esmeralda sits beside her Ravenclaw friends, and I glance at Abraxas, a questioning look on my face. "You realize your sister going to keep watching us the whole ride, don't you?"
"Yeah, but why don't we give her something to watch?" he asks,taking my hand in his, his fingers lacing with mine. I smile, and he asks, "Is this okay?", and I nod. We sit on the train the whole way like that, only letting go when we reach Hogwarts, and I grab my bag.
"I had fun today," I tell him on the way back to the castle.
"Did you at least forget what happened with Riddle this morning?" He asks, hopeful.
"No, he apparently was one of the people watching us kiss." I say. "Or at least, that's what Esmeralda told me."
"I wouldn't be surprised if that turned out to be true." He says, "After this morning, he's not very happy with you. I'm not even going to tell you everything he said after you ran out of there."
"What the hell did he say?" I ask, grabbing his arm.
"It's nothing to worry about." He says, pulling me in close when we reach the old library once again. He kisses me beside the tower door, only momentarily causing me to stop thinking about Tom. I smile between the kisses. Abraxas's eyes are so light blue at the moment, that they are nearly clear, transparent. Never have I seen them quite this light. His fingers rub up and down my arms, gentle, yet it is enough to make my heart skitter. His hands find my own, and he laces our fingers together, and our hands are right in between us, our faces still close, just centimeters away from each others. We have only known each other for two years, and somehow, we are already closer to each other than I've been with anyone, even Hermione and Esmeralda. I hear a noise around the corner, and I pull away from Abraxas, rounding the corner, and grab the person by their robes, pulling them hard enough for them to fall to the floor. I pull away when I see that it is Tom Riddle, of all people.
"You have been listening in on my private conversations." I glare, and I kick his shoe.
"Watch where you're kicking with those ugly, smudged shoes, Prewert." Tom says, and I kick him again, this time in his shin. "Damn it." He curses, and glares back at me.
"Watch your mouth in the presence of a lady, Riddle." I say. Abraxas tries to pull me away, but I shrug him off. "What the hell is wrong with you, Riddle? This is what, the second, no third time you've followed me around and listened in on private conversations."
"Didn't seem like you two were doing much of talking. Should I just let him swallow you whole then?" He asks, smirking.
"Tom Marvolo Riddle, so help me, if you don't get the hell out of here, right now, I will make you wish you had left me alone." I say, taking a step towards him.
"What are you going to do? Like you could use a spell that I cannot block." He taunts.
I grab my wand, and say "Wanna bet, Riddle."
"No. I already know you can't."
"That's where you're wrong." I say. "You think you're so big and bad, but inside you are a broken, pathetic, childish, incompetant piece of scum, you are always wallowing in your own self pitty. Maybe people would like you if you acted what you really are, a human. You have human feelings, and yet, somehow, you've convinced yourself you cannot feel anything. But obviously, you must be able to feel something, because for one, you cry when you are alone, two because you put down everyone else to make yourself feel better about the crappy life you lived as a child, yet want to make the best ever, and trust me, that's not going to happen, unless you change majorly, and third, because you're scared to admit that your jealous that I'm giving my attention to Abraxas, and your jealous because you can't stand someone else having anything you can't have!" I yell at him. Abraxas gasps in shock, and I glance over at him, and say "Don't, please. He just keeps getting under my skin, this was supposed to be a private moment!" I take his hand in my own. "Our private moment. And yet, everytime we get close to each other, he's always right there, listening in and ruining everything." I shoot a glare at Tom, and I feel my magic trembling under my skin. In the two years I have been here, I've only used my time traveling gift a few times, and if I disappear right here in front of their eyes, they'll know I'm not what I seem. I press down on the magic inside of me, and I let go of Abraxas's hand, shaking my head.
"I'm not mad at you." Abraxas says. "I'm disappointed that you'd get so upset over Tom obviously having a crush on you."
"He doesn't though! He's a possessive jerk that wants to control everyone!" I declare, glancing over at Tom. "Tell him. You just can't stand anyone having anything you can't have!"
"Whatever. I thought you were different, Lucinda. Maybe I was wrong." Tom says, saying my name carefully. Not Prewert. Just Lucinda. What I said must have hurt him more than I thought it would.
He walks away, and I call after him. "Tom! Wait!" I yell, wishing I hadn't gotten so upset. I glance at Abraxas, who just shakes his head.
"Why are you so caught up in Riddle, Lucinda?" He asks. "So what if he has a crush on you. Many guys like you. Tom is just another one of your many admireers."
"But he's not!" I tell him. "Abraxas, you don't understand. He doesn't have a crush on me. He just wants to claim me like some stupid prize. It's what he does, he uses people."
"How would you know that?" he asks. "You didn't know him before you came here, and he's just another guy. I thought you two were supposed to be friends, but from what I just seen there, you hate him. Why is that?"
"Abraxas, I don't hate him. We are supposed to be friends. But you've seen how he's been acting, and being mean to me. How he's been spying on us." I say, and suddenly there are tears in my eyes. "It's all he does, hurt everyone around him. You probably think I'm the worst person ever, and second guessing why you ever even liked me. All because of a stupid guy who is a jerk."
"Lucinda, Lucinda, Lucinda." Abraxas says my name, slowly each time. He pulls me in close, wiping at my tears. "I still like you. I will always like you. Don't get so upset over one person. Forget Riddle." He strokes my hair gently, and kisses my forehead carefully. "Tomorrow night is the party." He says, then retrieves the bag with my dress from the staircase, handing it to me. "I bet you are going to be stunning. You'll be the most beautiful girl there, that is, next to my sister." I giggle, and he chuckles. "There's that laugh that I love so much." He wraps his arms tightly around my waist from behind, his lips resting on my neck. "Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?"
"I was getting ready to go to my room. Dinner will be served soon, and I need to change into my robes." I tell him.
"Hmm, I'll miss you." He says, pecking my neck with his lips, dozens of times, making me laugh loudly. "I'll let you go so that you can get ready for dinner." He kisses my neck one last time, and leads me to the door to the girls dorm, kisses my lips gently, then is gone before I can even open the door.
Abraxas Malfoy's P.o.V.
"Hmm, I'll miss you." I say to Lucinda, pressing dozens of kisses to her neck, making her laugh louder, a laugh that I have gotten so used to, a laugh that makes my heart spread with warmth. "I'll let you go so that you can get ready for dinner." I tell her, kissing her neck one last time before taking her hand and leading her to the door to the girls dorm, kiss her lips gently, the walk quickly down the hallway. I run into Tom Riddle, and I stop. "Hey man, can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask him, and when I see the look on his face, I realize he's in a bad mood, probably still from the stuff Lucinda had said to him.
"What the hell do you want, Malfoy?" He asks. "You do realize that she's my girl. You can't have what's mine." Tom glares, and shoves me backwards. I catch my balance quite easily, and shove back at him.
"She's nobodies. She's her own. I love her, okay?" I ask, "Leave her alone, if you know what's best for you."
"What, are you going to put a curse on me?" Tom asks, laughing suddenly, a cold, bitter laugh. Maybe Lucinda was right. Maybe he is bad news, and hurts everyone around him. "You say you love her, but yours is a stupid pathetic little crush that will not last. She is mine, you think she has true feelings for you? She doesn't. She is constantly yearning for me, Malfoy. Obviously, you must see how her attention is always focused on me. She wants me."
"No she doesn't." I say. "If you seen the way she looks at me, and when she kisses me, then you would know what true love really is."
"You think that's true love?" Tom asks, laughing again, "She's been mine since day one. One day, she will be the most powerful dark witch, just like I'll be the most powerful dark wizard of all time. I just have to help her learn the curses, and she'll be set for life."
"Yeah, because she sure does love darkness." I say sarcasticly. "Tom, leave her alone. You've hurt her enough already. Just let her be."
"No, you leave her alone." Tom says. "Or you will wish you had. From now on, you answer to me, Malfoy." He declares.
"Yeah right." I say.
"You will answer to me Malfoy." He raises his voice, and gets into my face. "Is that clear? Because if not, I will make sure you get it into that thick skull of yours."
"Crystal clear." I gulp. I run away from him then. I do not plan on leaving Lucinda alone, after all she does still need an escort/date to the party, and what I said was true. I do love her. I love her so much. I see her face in my mind, and I know that if it comes down to it, I can't just let her go. She is the only person in the world that I actually can connect with. Everything about her makes me crazy, and nobody will ever come between that. Not even Tom Riddle.
Looking in the mirror, I comb out my long, white blonde hair, biting my lower lip. I had so much to tell Lucinda. After I had gotten off of the train, and slowly made my way inside the castle, a 7th year from Ravenclaw, asked me to the Christmas Eve party. I can easily transfigure one of my gowns into the perfect dress for the party. When Lucinda walks into the room, her eyes are blazing, and her normally pale skin is slightly flushed. She seems either agitated or worked up a bit. I notice blood on her lips, and I walk over to her. "What happened!?" I exclaim, loudly. "Were you in a fight?"
"Nearly." Lucinda says, and I notice her arms are also dug, and there is a bit of blood clinging and dripping from her skin.
"What does that mean? Weren't you with my brother?" I ask, suddenly worried.
"I was. But Tom showed up and ruined the moment."
"Why are you bleeding!?" I demand, looking around for the first aid kit, and when I find it, I make her sit down on her bed, and start rubbing her arms with alcohol. She flinches from the stinging of the alcohol, but otherwise, doesn't move.
She looks me in the eyes, and I notice that there are tears in them, and they look more tired than they did when we finished making her dress. "I dug my arms, I was really upset." She says, then turns her face away from mine.
"What did Tom do?" I ask her, worried.
"He's been spying on me." Lucinda says, biting her lip. "Everytime your brother and I are alone, he somehow shows up. It's not just a coincidence, and your brother, like you, seems to think Tom has a crush on me. I know that's not what it is. He just wants to be able to say that I'm his, like some kind of sick, pathetic prize." Then she starts crying.
I put down the alcohol and the wipes, and hug her tightly, rubbing her back gently. "Hun, I don't think that is true. He just doesn't know how to express his love for anyone. Maybe he really does have feelings for you. It really is quite possible." I whisper to her.
"No. It's not." She sobs. "Tom is incapable of loving anyone."
"That's a lie." I say, and pull back. "Dry your tears. He is as capable of loving you as you are of loving him."
"No!" She exclaims, and I realize that she is shaking. "I don't love him!"
"It was an example, sweety." I tell her. "But, if you want to talk about that, you'll probably realize you have feeling for him, just like you have feelings for my brother. They're both the most influential men in your life. It is only normal if you have feelings for them both."
"No!" She exclaims once more. "You're supposed to be making me feel better, not worse!"
"Lucinda. Look at me." I grab her shoulders. She looks over at me, and in her eyes, I see the broken pieces inside of her. She does like my brother, but I know that deep down, she is also interested in Tom Riddle. The only question is who she has stronger feelings for. Her eyes are shimmering and the tears are making her eyes even brighter. "I don't know what to tell you, other than you need to do some deep reflecting. Tomorrow is the party, so you need to get yourself calmed down before then. You'll need plenty of sleep tonight. Dinner is ready in 5 minutes. We need to get your arms cleaned up, and you need to get your lips to stop bleeding as well. So, let's finish this up, yeah?" I ask her. She nods, not saying anything.
We get her arms and lips cleaned up, then change into our robes. To say the least, Lucinda looks awful, yet somehow still manages to look more beautiful than everyone else. Her eyes, though shinning with tears, and red rimmed, are a bottomless black, and her lips are nearly red, not from blood, just how they naturally have always looked. Her cheeks are still flushed, and her milky pale white skin has undertones of silver, making her look like a goddess. Despite being upset, she holds her head high, and walks with perfect posture, gets her food, then sits down beside my brother and me. Abraxas notices her disarray, but also seems as awed as I am by how she still looks beautiful. His hand takes her, and their fingers intertwinne, and I watch as she blushes, her cheeks even redder than when she was mad, but she gives his hand a small squeeze, reassuring him that she'd be alright. Abraxas smiles then, and starts eating again. Lucinda eats slowly, and I realize how little she had taken. With her always being so small, it's scary when she gets upset enough to not eat very much. She had never been this mad, not in the two years she had been attending Hogwarts. But, again, maybe she isn't just mad.
I eat dinner, and am happy when I get to say "So, Carter Lockhart, from Ravenclaw, asked me to the party."
"You mean the 7th year?" Abraxas asks, shocked.
"Well, yeah. The only other Lockhart attending this school is his sister.And she's a 1st year." I say, sarcastically. Despite being only in my 5th year, I'm quite popular at Hogwarts. It comes with being a Malfoy. Too bad I wasn't born a boy, because in the Malfoy family, the boys are cherished over the girls simply because with the male line, the Malfoy name will always be prominent. It's something my brother and I have discussed countless times, but he believes that, even though I am a girl, I am quite powerful and smart.
"That's...cool." Lucinda says, obviously not acting herself. She looks down at her hand in Abraxas's, relaxing a bit when she sees their fingers twinned. He glances at her, and when she looks over at him, he presses a gentle kiss to her lips, making me smile. Her lips part slightly and she kisses him back even more gently. When he pulls back she actually smiles.
He whispers something to her, a whisper so low I cannot here, but she giggles, and then he smiles. I look away, realizing it is a private moment, and I was gawking at them. Soon dinner ends, and the three of us walk to the girls dorm. I walk inside, leaving them to linger outside the door. I hear her say something quietly to him, and he whispers something back to her. Then there is a moment of silence, seconds ticking by, then she says "I'll see you in the morning."
"You've got it." Abraxas says, and then she walks into the dorm, closing the door. We go to our room, and I take her by the arm, making her sit down beside me on my bed.
"What were you guys talking about?" I ask her, smiling.
"He told me not to worry about Tom. That he handled it. Whatever that means." She shakes her head. "He needs to be careful around Tom. He doesn't know what Tom is capable of."
"And you do?" I ask her.
"Yes. I do." She says, biting her lip.
"Lucinda. You know I love you like the sister I never had, but please, think about this. Tom has a human body. He feels everything the way we do. He has a beating heart, Lucinda."
"Not for long." She murmurs, her eyes had a far away look in them.
"What?" I ask, shocked.
"Nothing." She says, and turns away from me. "If you don't mind, I think I will just go to bed now."
"Yeah, sure." I say, shaken up a bit.
She goes over to her bed, and crawls under the covers, still in her robes, and closes her eyes. She is asleep moments later, much quicker than she has ever fallen asleep. Her deep, easy breathing is nearly silent, such shallow breathing. I crawl under my covers, clutching the stuffed teddy bear that my mother had given me when I was a little girl of five years old. I glance back over at Lucinda, whose lips are only slightly parted, their red shade bright even in the near darkness of the room. Her long, black eyelashes are spread against her alabaster cheekbones, strongly defined, and her long, beautiful, black hair is around her, floating on top of her covers, nearly to her waist. Despite the fact that I feel as if I've known her forever, even though it's only been two years, I know that she has hidden depths. I just don't know everything about her. She never talks about her parents anymore, so that was a big shocker, when she had mentioned that the bracelet my brother bought her was identical to the one that used to belong to her mother. Her hands are on top of the blankets, and I see that she is, in fact, swearing said bracelet. It sparkles in the low light, and I see just how beautiful, and expensive, it is. The fact that my brother spent that much money on it, she really must have wanted it. My brother has always been a gentlemen, and if her eye had caught that bracelet, he must have noticed how much it had gotten to her, having seen something that was so closely related to her deceased mother, a woman who she must have loved quite dearly, and missed more than anything or anyone in the world. I think I ought to talk to her about it in the morning, so tuck the thought away, and close my eyes, soon, drifting off to sleep as well.
When Lucinda had walked into the cafeteria, her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and their bottomless black was dull, as if she was really, truely upset. She barely smiles at Abraxas, whom I notice isn't leaving her alone. He holds her hand, and she tries to smile, but the smile doesn't reach her eyes. When she leaves the room with Abraxas and Esmeralda, she doesn't look for me like she normally does, and her shoulders are straight, and she holds her head up high, like the true soldier she is. I don't follow her this time. I stay to finish my dinner, happy at least that she is alright. I hadn't meant to set her over the edge, not in the slightest. I just don't want her to like Abraxas, not when I want her to be my Dark One. She is the only other witch/wizard who would be able to split their soul with the Horcrux more than once without it destroying them, permanently. She's truely powerful. I plan on doing 7 of the Horcrux. I am hoping to do my first one tomorrow. A Horcrux is a powerful object that can hide a fragment of ones soul for the purpose of gainning immortality. You anchor your soul to earth, even if the body was destroyed. The more that are created, the closer one gets to true immortality. Sure, there are side effects of it, redness of the eyes/pupils, paler skin, and possible disfigurement. I found out about them in the book titled Secrets of the Darkest Art. But first, to split one's soul, one must commit the most supreme act of evil. Murder. You must encase a portion of their fractured soul into a chosen object with the spell. The only way for it to be reversed is if the person who created it felt true remorse, but it is a very painful process, and is usually fatal. But if I don't have much of a soul left, I wont feel remorse. The more I make, the more I will be less human. Exactly what I need. After all, muggles are stupid and ridiculous and worthless. Vile creatures, muggles are. While witches and wizards look as human as the actual humans, we are a much better race. We live a lot longer than muggles do. We are able to practice magic. We are much smarter, and much more adaptable to our surroundings. But when I threatened Malfoy, it was not as smart as it once seemed. After all, Lucinda had the right to choose who she liked and didn't like, and whom she wanted to be with. In all honesty, it's not a surprise if she hates me. I'm rarely kind to her, and normally, she is the nicest person in the world to me. There have been only 3 incidents where she was mean, and rude, and only because I had been that way towards her first. I had pushed her much too far this time. She will never treat me the same way, she has become truely broken this time. I'd be lucky if she ever says another word to me. And to think that she really could be the most important person in my life, for her to become my Dark One, it's too much to hope for. I just wish I hadn't been pushing her away for so long. I always thought she might be interested in me, and I've liked her since day one, after she gave me a taste of my own medicine. It doesn't hurt that she is beautiful. Her eyes and hair are like the night sky, and her skin is white and pure as fresh snow. Her lips are rosebud red, and her hair and nails are both always long and beautiful. I've never really thought much about the rest of her body. It's true that she's short and on the tiny side, but she's really started blossoming out. She's turning into the woman that she's meant to be. And if she can use the dark spells, and cast curses, then she will really, truly be powerful. But, truth is, after today, that's highly unlikely. I have lost the one true love I could ever have. And it's all my fault.
When I open my eyes, it's still pitch black. The room is dark. The windows are closed, the curtains closed, and when I look at the clock, I see it's only just past one in the morning. I know it's useless to try to go back to sleep, and even though it's against the rules, I slip out of my room and the dorm, and begin making my way down to the old library by the tower, hoping to be alone. But then I notice a small light in the corner, and a few, small gasps of pain. I rush around the corner, and when I see who it is I gasp. Tom is sitting by the door to the tower, and he is holding his wand. His robes sleeves are pushed up, and I see small red lines marking his pale skin on one arm. When he see me, his eyes are wide, and he yanks down his sleeves. I back up, tears filling my eyes.
"Lucinda. You should be in bed." Tom says, concerned.
"So should you. What the hell were you doing?" I demand. I notice a small blood stain on his sleeve, and I feel a small pain in my chest.
"It's nothing. Let's get you back to the dorm before someone notices your missing." I feel his hand on my arm, but I pull away, grabbing his wrist.
"Stop pretending you're fine when you're not." I hiss, yanking up his sleeve, and when I see how bloody and cut up his arm is, I let out a sob, falling back against the wall, and sinking to a sitting position.
"I am fine, but it's clear you're not." Tom says, crouching down so we are face to face. "Don't worry about this. He fingers touch my forehead, and he whispers "You wont remember any of this in the morning."
"I will too!" I say, flinching away from him, and his face looks confused.
"It didn't work?" He asks.
"What didn't work? Of course I'm going to remember this in the morning. I don't have memory loss, Tom!" I exclaim, and the confused look on his face turns startled. "In the muggle world, they have a word for that." I say, pointing at his arm. "It's called cutting. Except muggles use raxor blades, knives, among other things to cut. You were using magic." Tears trail down my cheeks, and I don't know whether to wipe away my tears and pretend that nothing he does affects me, or try to use a charm or spell to heal his arm.
"Don't worry about it, Luce." He says, moving his fingers down my cheek, tilting my chin up slightly. I don't move, and Tom's brown eyes seem to sparkle in the low lighting of the corridor. My heart is racing in my chest. He could kill me so easily. "It's nothing."
"It is something!" I say, moving my face away from his hand, and I shove against his chest with my fists, trying to move away from him. He grabs my wrists, but is still in the motion of falling backwards, and my body collides with his. His face is only inches from my own. His body takes most of the brunt of the fall, but my chest had collided with his, and it is enough to make me cry out in pain. Tom helps me sit up, and his hands are hovering over my ribs.
"You didn't get hurt really badly, did you?" He asks, not wanting to touch my ribs for fear of hurting me worse. I shake my head quickly, and he looks relieved. "Lucinda..." He trails off, and I realize I'm staring at his blood dripping down his arm. My eyes seem rooted in place, and my fingers move forward without my consent. I shove up his sleeve, and run my fingers gently over the cuts that he had made on his wrist and arm. "Don't, really, it's fine." Tom say, but he also seems rooted in place. I feel a strange fluttering in my chest, and magic flows from my fingertips and into Tom's arm, closing the cuts before our eyes. As soon as they are fully healed, I jerk back, heat burning my hand. "How did you do that?" He asks, shocked.
"I-I d-don't know." I stammer, shaking.
"How can you use magic without using your wand?" he asks, his brow furrowing.
"I said I don't know, Tom!" I say, loudly. "It's just something I've always been able to do, okay!?"
"Shhh." He says, covering my mouth with his hand, now blood free. He lets go of me when he realizes I'm not going to yell again. "You didn't have to heal me." Tom tells me.
"I didn't mean to, Tom." I say shaking my head, tears still clinging to my eyes and cheeks. "I just kinda, you know, did it without thinking. Sorry if it inconvienced you any. When I leave you're probably just going to use your wand to start cutting again anyways. Might as well kill yourself while no one is watching, right?" I ask, choking on a lump that has formed in my throat. "Not like there's anyone who actually cares about you, or loves you and who needs you around, right? No one who worries about you or needs you to help them be better than who they previously were, right?" I ask, biting my lower lip, and wraping my arms around my waist as the tears spill over, and I am just left standing there, sobbing.
Suddenly, Tom's arms are wrapped around my shoulders, hugging me to him as if it's the most natural thing in the world. My arms wrap around his waist as I sob into his chest, his fingers trailing through my hair as he strokes it, trying to calm me down. "If I had known how much it would hurt you to see this, I wouldn't have done it," He whispers in my ear. "I'm sorry, Luce. I really am." I don't say anything, just pull away from him, still shaking and crying, wishing I had never accepted the mission to help save Tom, because if he's just going to throw away his future by trying to kill himself, maybe it would be for the best. But I also know that I don't want him to die, no matter how many people he murdered, no matter how many people he hurt, I would never want him to kill himself. "I'm sorry." He says again, as if it will make up for all that he has done, and will come to do in the future.
"Tom, I don't see how we can be friends." I admit. "Not when we're always at each other's throats."
"Are you saying you hate me?" He asks, his face twisting not in rage, but in sorrow.
"No." I admit. "No matter how much you hurt me, I will never hate you. I just cannot bring myself to hate you." I look up at him, wiping at my tears. "But you can't hurt yourself, Tom."
"I deserve it. I'm an abomination. I deserve to die." Tom says, and I see true anguish in his eyes.
"No." I say, grabbing his wrists. "You don't." I look down at where he had cut tonight, but don't see scars. I really had healed his cuts. But could I heal his heart? "Listen to me, whatever you think that makes you an abomination, it's a lie. You're special. Not just some piece of garbage."
"I was concieved under a love spell, Lucinda. My worthless father was a stupid muggle. When my mother removed the love spell, he left her. My mother died giving birth to a half breed abomination." He tells me, and I know he's never said this to anyone before. It sounds like it hurts for him to say it, as if it's tearing him up inside. Inside my heart breaks even more, and when I pull him in towards me, I know that even though I love Abraxas, I must admit that I have feelings for Tom. I'm not sure if it's love, but I do know that something is there.
"That doesn't make you an abomination. My mother almost died giving birth to me, and she wasn't the same afterwards. She was weakened. She had been a Pure Blood, but she wasn't as strong as she should have been. She practiced the Dark Arts, and so did my father. One day, I accidently used a spell, a curse on her. It was an accident, but it didn't matter. It was a torture curse, and with her already weakened, her heart stopped. My dad tried everything he could, but she couldn't be brought back. And it turns out she had also been pregnant, I would have had a little brother or sister, but I ruined it. It's my fault my mom was weak, and it was my fault my mom died. My father never got over it, and that's why he died without ever forgiving me. If anyone is an abomination, it's me." I say. "I'm different than everyone else here. At my old school, my friends joked about me being a Dark Witch, and that I was the most powerful one of all time.They never knew that I had killed my own mother." Saying it out loud takes me back to that day, and I hear my father yelling at me, telling me that he hated me. How easy it would be to have hurt him for saying it, but I knew he was right to hate me.
"You said it was an accident." Tom says, not moving, but he is looking at his hands, where my hands are holding tightly onto his wrists. "Sometimes accidents do happen. But if you are a Dark Witch, I'm a Dark Wizard." He tells me, "I've been able to use the dark spells and curses since I was a child as well. I never hurt anyone close to me though, because I had no one close to me. My mother died, my father is scum. I'd like nothing more than to kill him."
"Don't." I say, letting go of his wrists, wrapping my arms around his neck, distracting him momentarily. "Don't kill him. He may deserve it, but don't do it. You're better than he is, Tom."
Our eyes meet and he nods, "I wont kill him. But I wont be doing it for myself. I'll be doing it for you." Tom whispers. His lips glide over mine, just once. "But say we'll both be Dark Ones, Lucinda. Together. You're powerful, and together we'll be even more powerful than anyone has ever been before. I'll buy your jewels, and you'll have the finest clothes. You'll be known worldwide. Say yes, please." His eyes are begging me, and when his lips touch mine, his tongue seeking enterance to my mouth, I part my lips, wondering why it feels so bad when he seems so right. His tongue traces my own lightly, but then I pull back. His expression is confused, and when he says, "Lucinda?"
"I can't, at least, not yet." I tell him.
"Why not, don't you love me?" He asks, his hands rubbing my arms gently.
"I have strong feelings for you, Tom, that much is true. But, I'm technically dating Abraxas." I say.
"You love him, but not me." Tom accuses.
"Tom, I didn't say that." I say, reaching for his cheek with my hand.
"You didn't have to say it. I can see it clearly on your face." Tom glares.
"Tom, don't do this. Please. I need you, you don't know how much I need you." I say, placing my hand on his cheek.
"Say it again." He says.
"What?" I ask, confused.
"Say that you need me." Tom tells me, "Tell me you need me again, and I wont kill the boy before he has the chance to take you from me."
When he says that it shocks me, and I know that I'm saying not only because I need him, but I don't want Tom to hurt Abraxas. "I need you." I say, letting my fingers trail to the back of his head, my fingers tightening in his hair. "I need you." He kisses me carefully, then pulls back.
"I wont hurt Abraxas because I know you wouldn't want anything to do with me if I did. Just, let the boy down easily, but not too easily." Tom says, "Tomorrow night after the dance, if you will."
"Tom.." I trail off.
"I love you, Luce." Tom says, pulling me closer.
"Just give me a little bit of time before I start saying it." I tell him. "I'm not good at telling people I love them. The last person I said that to was my mother."
"Of course." He nods, and gives me a lazy smile. "But I'm being honest. I really do love you, Luce."
"Well then." I give him a small peck on the cheek. "I need to get back to sleep. Just don't cut anymore, and please, please don't hurt anybody, don't kill anybody. Please?" I ask.
"For you, I'd do anything." Tom says. "I'll make sure no one catches you sneaking back into the dorm." He tells me.
"Thank you." I say and start turning around the corner. "And Tom...?"
"I'm sorry...if I was the reason you...." I glance at his arm.
"It's not your fault. It's my fault for hurting you in the first place."
"Oh, and about before, when you said you were sorry... You're forgiven." I say.
"Thank you. It means a lot that you would forgive me after all I've said and done to you." Tom says, giving me a small smile.
I incline my head, then turn around the corner, and walk quickly back to the dorm and my room. What did I just get myself into?