I was lost in a fantasy world that seemed better than the world I currently was rooted into. Abraxas had returned to classes, Esmeralda seemed rather distant, to her brother and to myself, and Tom seemed worried about me, more so than usual. I could lie and say that it wasn't really my fault, but truthfully, all of it was my fault. My fault my mother died, my fault my father hated me, my fault that Abraxas tried to kill himself, and my fault because I had begun to push Tom and Esmeralda away. But what was I supposed to do? Ever since I came to this time, all I had done was hurt the people I had come to care about. The Boggart hadn't only seen and become my mother dying and my father abusing me, it had also seen my fear that I'd screw up time so drastically, that there was no going back. I feared I'd be lost in time. I barely use my time traveling gift anymore, and there are days I forget that I'm even a time traveler, that I've come from a different time. I've completely assimilated myself into this time, and I fit in more so than I did back in my own time.
In class, though, everyone is making a big deal about me and the Boggart, my worst fears, they had been equals, which is why the Boggart had become both. Tom's worst fear, he had told me the next day, was that he'd become like his Muggle father, a man who used and abused woman and didn't truly love anyone. But Tom can't become someone who doesn't love anyone. He loves me. Something keeps nagging at me though. My mind keeps telling me that Tom can't love anyone. He becomes Voldemort. He is evil. But deep down, I think he's changed.
Two days after the Boggart incident, I fall asleep in the Slytherin Common Room on the couch that Tom and I usually sat on when we studied or worked on our assignments. I'm taken over my a nightmare. The Boggart incident replays over and over in my mind, and I can't pull myself away from it. I suddenly awaken, my heart feeling like it's jumping out of my chest. The television that is in the room plays the news, and I glance at it, hoping it will take my mind off of the nightmare. It does. On the screen is a picture of Tom. Not my Tom, but Tom Riddle, Sr. Tom's father. Next to it is two men, Gaunt wizards. Dead. Murdered. I gasp and fall off the couch, my heart racing even more. I jump up, and run out of the Slytherin Common Room, heading for the boy's dorm, to Tom's room, a Prefect room that he has all to himself. A room I could have also had if I hadn't wanted to stay in my own room with Esmeralda. I run to the door, and I step inside just as Tom lets out an agonizing scream that makes my blood curdle. My eyes are wide, and I see Tom bent over, clutching his waist.
"Tom, what's happening? Are you okay?" I ask, reaching forward to touch his back. Just before I touch him, he looks over at me.
His eyes are pitch black, and his skin is a sickly pale, almost paler than my skin. "Get out!" He yells. "Please, just get out."
I back up, running right into the door, and I ask again "What's happening?"
"I said, just get the hell out, Lucinda!" He yells again. I nod, tears leaking out of my eyes, and I leave, running out of the room. At first, I don't know where I'm going, but I end up at the tower, and I run inside, up the stairs, and sink to the floor, my arm that's not in a cast is wrapped around my legs, cradling my legs to my chest. The rational part of my mind tells me that Tom was creating a Horcrux. It's the only logical explanation. But it also means that Tom hasn't changed.
To create a Horcrux, you first have to kill someone. I feel queezy and I put two and two together. Tom had killed his mother's family, and had killed his father.
When Lucinda had burst through the door, and seen me, heard me screaming, I felt as if my heart was being torn apart as much as my soul. She looked terrified, and when I yelled for her to get out, it made her even more terrified. I try to keep myself calm. The pain had vanished, and I look in the mirror. The Horcrux hadn't disfigured me. My eyes were a bit darker, my skin paler, but nothing permanent. I had taken the locket that I'd given Lucinda, to put the piece of my soul in. I planned to give it back to her before she'd even known it was gone. That's something rather easy. I look around the castle trying to find her. At first, I can't think of where she'd gone. I asked everyone I seen if they'd seen her, but they hadn't. I look in the library at the Tower, but nothing. Then, I hear the small sound of what seems to be a kitten mewing. I walk up the stairs to the Tower, and find Lucinda, curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth, crying. When she sees me, she stands up rather quickly, backing away from me.
"Lucinda, it's alright. I'm not going to hurt you." I tell her.
"Yeah, right. You killed your father, and your uncle and grandfather. How do I know you wont try to kill me as well?" She demands, still crying.
"I would never hurt you, Lucinda. I love you." I tell her, walking closer and closer to her. "I'd never hurt you." I repeat.
"You didn't deny that you killed them, though!" She yells at me.
"I did kill them, because they needed to die, Lucinda. For what they did to my mother. Don't you understand? They deserved to die." I tell her.
"Their people. People don't deserve to die, just because they've made mistakes!" She screams at me.
"They did more than just make mistakes, Lucinda! Those men were worthless! Scum! My uncle and grandfather abused my mother, they made her scrub the floors, and the walls, and cook and clean while they laid on the asses drinking and putting curses on people! And my father, he wouldn't even stay for my mother when she was pregnant with his child, pregnant with me!" I yell, "The world is better without men like them!"
"So you killed them. You made a Horcrux." Lucinda says, still crying. "You think it's going to help you? No, Tom, it's only going to get worse and worse, I promise you that."
"How do you know about the Horcrux..."I trail off. "The book you gave me. You read it, so you know exactly what I did."
"I'm not stupid, Tom." Lucinda tells me. "Once you make a Horcrux, you crave to do it more."
"I'm going to make seven Horcrux's, Lucinda. I'm going to be immortal." I tell her.
"No, your going to be as good as dead if you make seven. You wont love me anymore, you wont even care about me. You'll be a cruel, sadistic bastard, and I wont want anything to do with you." Lucinda spits the words out.
The words hit me harder than I thought they would. "I'll always love you, Lucinda." I say, sadly.
"No, not if you succeed in making seven Horcrux's, Tom. Each time you do it, you lose a part of your humanity. Each time, you'll lose those you care about, all because you want to be immortal. You'll stop loving me because that's a part of your humanity. Do what you want, but just know I will not be around when you finish with those Horcrux's. You'll lose me, and then you'll hate me, Tom. But that's how it will be." Lucinda says. She pushes past me, running down the stairs, leaving me to think about all she's said. How could she know what I'd turn into if I succeeded in making seven Horcrux's?
Damn it. I'm about to punch the wall, but instead, I turn around and race down the stairs after Lucinda. She hasn't gotten far, and I Apparate right behind her. "Lucinda, wait." I say, touching her back gently, but she flinches.
"What?" She snaps.
"I love you, Lucinda. I promise, for now I'll stop with the Horcrux's."
"For now? How about forever, Tom?" Lucinda demands. "Do you want to kill thousands of people? Muggle borns and Half bloods, and Pure bloods? Because you wont spare any of them, not once you complete the last Horcurx. Your soul will be so split up that you'll slowly go insane, Tom. You wont spare anyone. You probably, in the end, wont even spare me."
"Do you really think I'll turn out like that?" I ask, surprised.
"I know you will, Tom." Lucinda says. "Your love for me will disappear, and I will be nothing to you. Nothing."
"You'll always be something to me, Lucinda." I try to say.
"No, not after the Horcrux's you wont. Don't you feel battered right now? Like there's a pain in every breath, a pain in your soul? Like you're emotionally scarred?" Lucinda asks me.
"Why does it matter?" I ask, shaking my head. "Why?"
"Because I love you, Tom, goddammit!" Lucinda yells at me, louder than I've ever heard her voice before.
I grab her, pulling her close to me, and I kiss her. I easily put the locket back on her without her noticing, and I hold her tightly as I kiss her fast and with intense passion. She kisses me back, and I feel her hands slide up my chest and over my shoulders. We hadn't been kissing long when she pulls away from me, glaring.
"What?" I ask.
"You're such an ass." She walks away from me.
I call after her. "But I'm your ass, Lucinda." She turns around and flips me the bird, then continues walking away. Damn, I love her so much. It hits me again that she said she loves me. That was the first time she'd said it to me. I smile, and I Apparate to my room. I close the door, and lay down in my bed, dozing off to sleep.
I honestly never expected I would tell Tom that I love him, nor that he would kiss me with so much passion in the midst of a fight, especially over a Horcrux. I had called him an ass, and flipped him the bird. I try not to think about what he's done. That book I had given him. I hadn't realized it would be the book that gave him the idea to create the Horcrux's. I can't exactly jump back to the day I had decided to give it to him. That would mess so much of the present that's already been created. There are 4 and a half months of school left. Then it's summer. Where would I be going this summer? When I get back to my room, I see Esmeralda shifting through some pages of parchment paper.
"Esmeralda?" I ask, hoping I'm not bothering her.
"Yes?" She looks up at me with a smile on her face.
"I was wondering...am I still welcome at your house for summer and other breaks?"
"Of course you are! Why would you think differently?" She demands. "You have no where else to go, and I need you with me during breaks. It's that or I'm stuck listening to my parents and brother being annoying as hell. Wait, do you not want to come to my house anymore?"
"No, I still want to come to your house. I'm just... you blame me for Abraxas trying to kill himself, don't you?" I ask.
"No!" She exclaims, hugging me. "Of course not! It's not your fault, and you need to stop blaming yourself. You have Tom, and he loves you just as you are. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting to be with Tom and not Abraxas."
"I'm not sure if I even want to be with Tom anymore." I grumble.
"What? Why?" Esmeralda asks, pulling back.
"It's nothing. Just a stupid fight." I tell her, shaking my head.
"What about?" She asks me.
"He wants to be a dark wizard." I whisper.
"No! Oh my god, is Tom actually evil in disguise?" For some reason, she laughs at that. I scrunch up my eyebrows, about to burst into tears. She sees the look and says "Sorry, it's not funny. You're serious aren't you?"
"Dead serious. He also wants to be immortal."
"Now, that is funny. It's impossible to be immortal." Esmeralda says.
"No, it's not." I mutter.
"How in the world can a wizard become invisible?" She demands, not happy that I'm arguing.
"By splitting the soul." I say.
"The Horcrux?" She asks. "Oh god."
"Yes, exactly." I say. "And only very experienced wizards or witches can preform that kind of spell."
"Like Tom." Esmeralda says.
"And you." She states.
"Like I would want to be immortal. I've screwed with time enough as it is."
"What does that mean?" She asks, surprised.
"Nothing." I say. "It's nothing."
"Okay..."She trails off. "I'm going to see my brother in a few minutes. Want to come?"
"Yeah. That'd be great." I say smiling. I change out of my robes and into a dress, then comb my hair. Esmeralda, I notice, is dressed in a long dress that is white with large black dots. She sure can make a fashion statement. We go downstairs to the Slytherin Common Room, and when my eyes fall on Abraxas, I'm surprised to see his skin is not icy pale nor blue like it had been before. Now, his skin is golden, a bit darker than Esmeralda's.
"You look a lot better." Esmeralda hugs him, and I stand back, not wanting to interrupt the moment between brother and sister.
"I feel a lot better, as well." Abraxas says, looking over at me. "Hi, Lucinda." His voice wavers.
"Abraxas." I say, my eyes darting to his arms which are covered in bandages.
"I just want to say I am sorry for everything. Thank you for sending Tom to get help." Abraxas says, and I realize he sounds more like the old Abraxas, before he'd asked me to the party and everything bad that happened after that.
I rush over and hug him, and I feel him at first stiffen in shock, then when the shock wears off he hugs me back. "I've missed you Abraxas." I say, hugging him tightly. "The old you, the one who wasn't mean and rude."
"I've missed you too, Lucinda." He finally pulls away, and says "I just want to let you know I've talked to Tom and he and I are okay again. I also don't remember anything about what happened when I tried to kill myself, all Tom said was that you sent him to get help, and that you were really upset. I'm sorry I upset you."
"It's alright. Everything is alright now." I smile, then glance at Esmeralda. "Hey, you set this up didn't you?"
"I thought things would work themselves out, so I decided to get in the middle of fate a bit." She laughs. "Not that fate didn't know what it was doing."
I hug her. "Thanks, Esmeralda." I say.
"Welcome, Lucinda." The three of us end up sitting in the Common Room til they have to go up to bed. I start to patrol on my own, not knowing if Tom would show up or not.
When he does show up, he is still pale, and his eyes dark, his face drawn in exhaustion. "Sorry I'm late. Anyone up past cerfew?" He asks.
"Not that I've seen, no. Not that it matters. Who the hell will listen to me on my own anyways." I say, turning away from him.
"Luce, please don't be mad at me." Tom says, touching my shoulder, making my body ache for his touch. "I can't have you mad at me. You know I want to take over the world. You said you would help me. You should know that I'll need to be immortal. It's that, or I die trying."
"I know you want to take over the world, Tom, but what's more important, me or the stupid world!?" I demand, turning around quickly to face him.
"You are. No doubt in that." Tom says, pulling me in close, and he whispers "But for me to provide for you, to care for you, to give you everything you deserve, I'll need to have the world to give to you." He presses his lips to my cheek, gently sliding down to my jawline, then my neck. The feel of his lips on my neck is absolute heaven. My heart races and I told my head to the side, and Tom gently keeps kissing my neck. My fingers tighten on his robes, and I feel his hands on my hips through the thin cotton of my dress. "Don't hate me." He whispers in my ear.
"I don't hate you." I tell him. "I love you. And I can't stand the thought of losing you. You'll stop loving me if you keep making the Horcrux's, Tom. You could become disfigured and your heart would harden, you wouldn't be my Tom anymore. You wouldn't be any better than your muggle father."
"He's dead. I am better than him."
"Not for long. Not if you continue making the Horcrux's. Not if you just give in to the darkness." I tell him, pulling away from him.
"What do you want me to do?" Tom asks me. "I want to know what you honestly think."
"I don't want you to make more Horcrux's, and I don't want you to kill anyone else. But maybe that's asking too much of you. Perhaps your heart is already blackened from the darkness that's been created, the evil that's come over you."
"Lucinda, I have to kill the muggles. They deserve to die."
"Not all of them!" I shout.
"Calm down. I'll stop, if that's what you truly want." Tom says. "But if I stop, then we wont be able to rule the world. I wont be able to give you the world."
"Screw the world, Tom. All I want is you." I tell him, glancing down at my feet. "I don't need anything extravagent. All I need is you."
"Lucinda." Tom says. "Look at me, please."
I glance up, and see the tender look in his eyes. "What?" I murmur.
"I love you." He whispers, and takes my hand. "I'll stop. I promise."
"Thank you, Tom. I love you too." I wrap my arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.
"Good." He hugs me back just as tightly. "Have you talked to Abraxas?"
"Yeah, he's doing much better." I tell him. "We're friends again."
"Good." He kisses my forehead. "Hey, you've got about 3 more weeks before that cast has to come off. Bet you're excited it's getting closer."
"You have no idea." I tell him, smiling. I kiss his lips gently. The clock strikes 11:00 pm, and I pull away. "Time for bed, Tom."
"Are you inviting me to your bed?" He teases. "Cause I was about to ask you to join me."
I smack at him, laughing. "My god, you must think I'm stupid. I know you'd say no."
"You're right." He kisses me quickly. "Just wait though." He gives me a look that says I'll have to wait a while, but that it'll be worth the wait. He walks me to my room, and says good night. I kiss him, then go inside. Two arguments with Tom in one day. But I'm guessing tomorrow will be better. It had better be.
I don't remember much from the night I had tried to take my own life. I just remember being sick of everything, and wishing I could end it all. And that's exactly what I tried to do. My life's blood had begun to pour out, my skin was ice cold and a blue-ish hue. Apparently Lucinda had saved my life. I don't remember her being there. I don't remember if I said anything to her. I'm afraid to ask. The welt on her cheek had been a surprise when I had seen her. Boggarts aren't supposed to be able to attack a human or a witch/wizard. But then again, Lucinda isn't your ordinary witch. Tom and I had a nice, long chat about that. Lucinda's worst fears are of equal quantities, which is why the Boggart showed two fears. A clock, symbolizing time, and the her mother dying and her father abusing her. But Lucinda had also done something that killed the Boggart. A Boggart is amortal. It has never been alive, so it cannot die. But it didn't just disappear. If it had, it would have appeared sometime later. Dumbledore, Headmaster Dippet, and the other professors are agast at what has happened. It's something that's never happened before.
One day in class, Headmaster Dippet and Dumbledore come into the class, and say "Lucinda Prewert, please come with us."
Lucinda glances around the room, catches my eye, then her eyes dart from Esmeralda to Tom.
"Alone, if you will." Dumbledore says, kindly.
Lucinda rises from her seat, and exits the room. My sister nudges me, and gives me a strange look. "What do you thinks going on?" I shrug, shaking my head. It's definitely not good, that's for sure.
As I exit the room, everyone's eyes are on me. Out in the corridor, I ask "Did I do something wrong, Professor, Headmaster?", glancing between Dumbledore and Dippet.
"No, of course not, M'dear." Dumbledore reassures me. "We just want you to come with us, for a little bit. You'll be excused from all of your classes and assignments today."
"Why?" I ask, worried.
"Because, we're going to test you, Lucinda." Dippet says, his voice as annoying as usual.
"Test me? Whatever for!?" I demand, shocked.
"No need to raise your voice, child." Dippet says.
"It's alright, Lucinda." Dumbledore says. "We just want to know how strong your magic is." We go to a little room that is normally a common room for students of other Houses to sit and hang out, but is rarely used since most of the students in the Houses stick to being friends within the House.
"But why?" I ask.
"What career are you thinking of getting into, Lucinda?" Dippet asks me, as he indicates the seat across from him and Dumbledore's.
"I was thinking healing, sir." I say. "Or a professor."
"Good, good. Both are excellent jobs. You have passed every class since you started here, with an outstanding at that." Dippet says.
"Lucinda, tells us about the Boggart." Dumbledore says, crossing his legs.
"What's there to tell other than it attacked me?" I ask, not exactly being helpful.
"What did it turn into?" Dippet asks.
"A clock, and my parents."
"Two fears?" Dippet asks.
"Why?" He demands.
"I don't know! I guess because the fears were equals?"
"Yes. Why are you afraid of clocks?" Dippet asks.
"Then what about the clock are you afraid of, why did the Boggart turn into it?" Dippet demands.
"I'm afraid of the passage of time." I mutter. Which is partially true, but not the whole truth.
"Were you afraid of your parents?" Dippet asks. I glance at Dumbledore, who is sitting back, listening.
"No." I say.
"Then why did the Boggart turn into them?" He asks.
"I wasn't afraid of my mom." I say.
"Then why did the Boggart turn into her, and why are you afraid of your father?" Dippet asks.
"What the hell is this? Some kind of interogation? The Boggart turned into my mother because I accidentally killed her, and I'm afraid of what happened." I say. "I'm afraid of my father because he hurt me repeatedly after I killed my mother."
"How did you kill your mother, Lucinda?"
"A torture curse." I murmur. "It was an accident."
"How old were you?"
"9 years old." I whisper.
"And you could already do spells and curses, without the focus of a wand?" Dippet asks.
"Who did you learn them from?"
"I seen my parents do them, and I wanted to be just like them. Now I know that what they were doing was and still is wrong." I say.
"So the Boggart turned into your parents, who were experts of the Dark Arts, is that correct?"
"I don't know about that." I say.
"The experts part? We have records that show that your parents, Selene and James Prewett had changed their last name to Prewert, and then vanished. You had already been born. This happened when you were two years old. They had been experts of the Dark Arts. Your mother Selene was a Hufflepuff, and her last name was Lovegood. Your father, as you know, was James Prewett was a Gryffindor. They attended this school when they were your age, and though most of the Houses remained separate, James and Selene fell in love, and got married. They had you. The only question is where they went when they disappeared." Dippet gives me a look.
"I don't know that. I grew up in the muggle world, until I went to B-beauxbaton Academy." The lie is enough for Dumbledore to catch.
"Actually, you didn't." He leans forward, clasping his hands. "You came here. But it was in the future. Was it not?" Crap, he is a true Legilimens.
"Y-yes, sir." I say, my voice wavering.
"If it was the future, then how are you here?" Dippet asks me. "And why?"
"You tell me, Headmaster Dippet. You're the one who seems to know nearly everything. Why don't you tell me, Sir." I say.
"You used a time turner."
"Wrong." I lean back. "Seems like you, of all people, since you are the headmaster of this fine wizarding school, should know a bit more about your students, and what their particular gifts are, shouldn't you?"
"Remarkable."Dumbledore says, smiling. "You sound exactly like your mother did."
"You knew my mother." I state, surprised.
"Knew her, yes. She was a remarkable student." Dumbledore says. "But, the only problem with that, is your mother was just as quick and witty as you are. In some ways that is a bad thing, because you have the same ill-mannered upbringing as she had. She often sassed the headmaster when she was in school as well."
"That, Albus, is irrelevant at the moment. Lucinda, tell me, please, if you didn't use a time turner, what did you use?"
"I already said it. I have a particular gift." I say. Dumbledore catches my eye again. I look right at him as I say "I'm a time traveler."
"Time traveler." Dippet says. "Well, and what is it exactly, the gift?"
"I just told you. I travel in time. Future, past, present. It's something I'm afraid off. But I also know that it's useful." I state.
"Well, Lucinda, can you tell me how you found out about your gift?" Dippet asks.
"I was a little kid. Like I can remember how I found out about my gift. It's just always been a part of me. Perhaps I was able to do it as a baby as well. Maybe that's how my parents disappeared, and we ended up in the 1980's when I was a baby, and when I started at Hogwarts in '93." I say.
"Hmm, if that's true, and your originally from this time, and you were two years old when you and your parents disappeared, you ended up in 1982, and then continued to live in that time, you were indeed able to start school in '93." Dippet says. "What was it like in that time?"
"Horrendous, mostly." I say, biting my lip.
"Why is that?"
"There was a dark wizard on the loose, and many of people were murdered."
"Who was the dark wizard?" I bite my lip again. "He calls himself Voldemort."
"Who is that?" He asks.
"Someone you wouldn't recognize." I say. "He created Horcrux's. He was disfigured."
"Why are you here? How are you here?"
I look at Dumbledore. "You sent me back to stop him from becoming the Dark Lord, Voldemort." I say.
"Well, that makes sense." Dumbledore says. "Since you've got a time traveling gift, why not send you back in time to stop it. Now, enough of all of this. Sure it's amazing, truly incredible, but we need to test your magic." Dumbledore looks over at Dippet.
And so, the tests begin.
Honestly, for most witches or wizards, the testing would be rigorous and exhausting. I'm able to do it without getting tired. And without my wand.
Over time, my magic has gotten much, much stronger, and it feels amazing to just release it all, to feel the exhileration and magic unfurl from my body.
"Truly amazing." Dumbledore says. "I don't think I've ever met a witch quite as strong as you."
"Yes, it's truly amazing." Dippet says. "That will be all. We'll let you know if we need anything else."
"One minute." Dumbledore says as he walks me out. "Did I tell you what I wanted you to do if you succeed in turning the Dark Lord off his path?"
"No, sir. I just assume I'm supposed to go back to the '90s. Though, I don't see how I can. I fit in better here. I have friends I'm close to. Though I miss my old friends as well." I tell him.
"Lucinda, either way, you'll be leaving behind those you love. I know it'll be hard for you. But just remember, either way, you're a hero." Dumbledore says.
"Thank you, sir." I say.
"Thank you, Lucinda. By the way, your really are a lot like your mother. She was a brilliant student, very bright, and kind, funny. People were drawn to her. Just like their drawn to you. But, like people were drawn to her, she was a drawn to dark magic as your father was." Dumbledore tells me.
"I know. My father is still very much alive. At least...he was when I left. I have no way of actually knowing if he still is. But the last time I see him, he was practicing curses. He's never changed. He wont. He'll always be drawn to dark magic."
"Just like you are." Dumbledore says.
"I am drawn to it, yes. But I control it. I haven't used curses or dark magic since I accidently killed my mother. I figure I'll only use it if I absolutely have to." I tell him.
"Good, lass. That's the way it should be. Just keep Mr. Riddle away from the dark arts as well." I look him in the eyes, and nod.
"I'll do my best, sir." With that, I scurry off, looking for Esmeralda or Tom. I run right into Tom, and he hugs me tightly.
"Hey, missed you in class. What's going on?" He asks, noticing my cheeks are flushed. "What did Dippet and Dumbledore want?"
"They wanted to test the level of my magic, because of what happened with the Boggart." I tell him.
"Oh, is that all?" He asks.
"No, I found out stuff about my parents I didn't know." I tell him, sadly.
"That they were experts on the Dark Arts." I say. That my mother was a Lovegood, and my father was a Prewett, and when I was two years old, they disappeared, with me, changed their last name to Prewert, and no one knew about me still being alive until I showed up here."
"What houses were they in?" Tom asks, clearly surprised.
"My mother was a Hufflepuff, my father Gryffindor. But they were both Pure-bloods, but neither was in Slytherin. It's crazy how I know nearly nothing about them, yet, they raised me." I shake my head. "It makes me feel like I'm not really me. Like I don't know who I am anymore." I tell him.
"Your Lucinda, and your my girlfriend, and I love you." Tom says, pulling me in close. "Never forget that."
"Mhhmm." I say, tilting my head to the side. Tom kisses me quickly, then pulls away.
"Dinner time." He says, taking my hand. We go downstairs to the Cafeteria, and get our food, then sit down with Abraxas and Esmeralda, and with them is also Crabbe, Goyle, the Carrow brothers, Rowle, Gibbon, Greyback ,Avery, and Lestrange. I vaguely recall them being some of the original Death Eaters. I don't say anything. There is nothing to say. Maybe Tom is just becoming friends with them, some of them are friends with Abraxas, and Tom and Abraxas are friends now, so perhaps things are just working themselves out. Perhaps.
After dinner, Tom and I go out to the Forbidden Forest and practice magic for a little bit. We don't do as many dark spells and curses as usual, some of the spells we do are fun ones. I give him a tail with one, and he gives me chipmunk teeth. When we change our teeth back, and I take away his tail, we lay down on the ground in the tree roots, the sky darkening and stars twinkling. I glance over at Tom, who smiles back at me. When he leans forward to kiss me, I feel a small fluttering in my lower abdomen, and I scoot closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck, kissing him back, wanting to be as close to him as possible. At first, Tom seems okay with that, he even wraps his arms around my waist, holding onto me tightly as his lips glance over my neck, pressing small, intoxicating kisses all over it. When I gasp as his lips meet my collarbone and nearly trail lower, Tom pulls back rather quickly, stunned. "No." He says, getting up faster than I'd ever seen him move. He presses his hands to his head, his elbows high in the air, and I hear him muttering to himself, words I can't hear very well.
"Tom." I say, scrambling to my feet, and walking over to him. "Calm down."
"Why the hell are you trying to get me to have sex with you now?" Tom demands, and I shake my head.
"I'm not, it's just..."I trail off. "I think we both lose track of everything whenever we touch, Tom." I gently hug him, and I feel his whole body relax immediately at my touch. He hugs me back tightly. "I'd love to, but you already said we're going to wait, so, we'll wait." He kisses me, and I kiss him back, glad we're standing since we were getting so close to... on the ground.
When he pulls back he says "If I weren't worried about some bad stuff happening, I'd agree, right here, right now." I see in his eyes that he's serious. If age, and school, and pregnancy weren't an issue, then there would be nothing in our way.
"I know." I say, hugging him tighter. "I'm glad your such a gentlemen." I tell him.
"Oh, really?" He smirks." Well I'm glad you've come into my life, Lucinda. Without you, my world would be black and while, dull, bleak, and not worth living. I love you, Lucinda."
"Mhmm.I Know. I love you too." I kiss him quickly, nibble on his lip, then pull away. "You make everything in my life bearable, Tom." I give him a small smile, and he pushes my hair out of my face. "Do you think we'll be together forever?" I ask him.
"We better be, because I can't live without you, Luce." He tells me,pulling me in closer to him, leaving his arm drapped around my waist. "We'd better get back. We still have to do Patrol tonight."
"Right." I say, and we walk back, him still having his arm around my waist, and me leaning into his side.
Today hadn't been all that much better, but it was definitely not awful. Just the talking about my fears, and my parents, finding out I'm not who I thought, that's the difficult part. The rest, was nice. Being with Tom is nice. I just wish he'd stay away from most of the people that would become the death eaters. Perhaps I can get him to stay away from them. A little hard work, but that's my job. It's one reason why I'm here. Keep Tom from becoming evil. Looking at his face, taking in his dark brown eyes, his narrow lips, perfect nose, few freckles, it's easy to think Tom cannot be evil. But the nagging stays with me, not matter how attractive, and kind and sweet Tom is to me. I cannot let him lose himself. I cannot.