Loving someone you can never have

I got out of bed everyday telling myself it would be alright, until one day it really was


9. 9.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. Jasper, my new kitten, was asleep on the end of the bed so i cautiously got out of bed and walked down the hallway. i could here someone in the kitchen cooking and when i walked out, the dining room table had food alone it and juice and Scott pulled out a chair and made me sit down. 


"What's all this?" i asked looking at the table as Matt put down food in front of me. 


"Breakfast" Scott said and i started to eat the oats with blueberries that was in front of me. i drank some juice and didnt finish the large bowl of oats but they took it away and cleaned up too. "So today, we thought we could go down for a swim" he continued to say and i crossed my legs on the dining room chair. "Well you live on the beach so why not?" Scott continued. 


I shrugged and finished the class of juice in front of me and Matt grabbed it and put it in the dishwasher. i got up and went over to my bedroom, shutting the door and walked up to little tiny Jasper and started to pat him before going to my chest of draws and got out a full piece swim suit and put it on. i grabbed a towel out of my bottom draw and walked out to find both Matt and Scott were ready to go swimming so i grabbed them a towel each and we went down to the water. 


it was high tide. i swam out until i couldn't touch and the water was completely clear. i saw everything that was swimming underneath me, the sting-rays, fish, turtles, it was all so beautiful. as i was just relaxing in the water and swam back so i could just touch the bottom, i looked over to see Dean standing in his dining room and he was eating but looking over at me. 


i looked down before turning around and swimming back out and treading water and a turtle came up beside me and poked its head out of the water before going back down to the bottom. 




I was sitting in my house, at my desk, reading some emails and nothing was going on. i got my phone out and went through instagram and Facebook, there was nothing interesting going on. 


the doorbell rang and i opened the door to see Dean there and i smiled. "Hi" i said and he smiled back. 


"Hi" he said and i stepped aside and he walked in. Matt and Scott were still at the beach and it was just us here. 


"This is going to be really selfish" i mumbled before taking a step and reaching up, putting my arms around his neck and kissing him. it felt so good to kiss him again, i don't know what i was thinking but i knew i didn't care anymore. his arms came and went on either side of my face before he moved one down to my waist and pulled my body in so it was touching his. the kiss was filled with passion and i could here the back door open and then close and i pulled away and let go of him as Scott and Matt got to three feet away from us. 


"Don't stop on our account" Matt smirked as he said that and they walked into the kitchen and got a drink. i turned around and saw Jonny and Jordan standing on my front porch and i froze. 


"Good afternoon everyone" they said and walked in the house and straight past me just touching my shoulder as they did. i turned around and stood beside Dean just touching his arm. "Well this is a turn of events isn't it" Jonny continued to say and turned around looking at us. 


"Only a few days ago, you two wouldn't even talking to each other and now, you guys are making out in the middle of the dining room!" he said grinning and i noticed he had slight bruising on his cheek bone where Dean punched him and i smiled a little. "Whats the smirk for love?" he asked taking a step towards us. 


"I love the different colours that were left on your face" i said and he started to walk quite quickly towards me and Dean moved across in front of me causing him to stop and move his eyesight from looking down to straight ahead at Dean. 


"You're not touching her" Dean spoke up and i put my hand on his lower back and grabbed his shirt. 


"I already did. it was, how can i put it, fun, sexual, pleasing" he was rubbing it in and i looked down trying to hold back to tears as i gripped on harder to his shirt and sliding my foot forward so i was nearly touching Dean. 


Dean moved and started punching him over and over again. Jordan went to move but Scott and Matt grabbed him and i stepped back. when he stopped he looked at me and i looked at Jonny and he walked towards me and i let him hug me. 


Jordan helped Jonny up and they walked out of the house and i sat down on the couch and didnt say anything. i heard commotion in the kitchen and the blender was being used. two minutes later Dean sat beside me and put a berry smoothie on the ground in front of me. "Are you okay?" he asked and i just nodded before picking up the smoothie and drinking some, turning on the TV and watching some afternoon news. 

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