Loving someone you can never have

I got out of bed everyday telling myself it would be alright, until one day it really was


10. 10

Its been a week since i have seen Dean. actually I've been alone, haven't seen Jonny in a while and Scott and Matt haven't been around.


A good thing is, I have put on a weight again and I'm exercising to maintain a good body (A/N: google Alexis Ren and thats the body that Clara has). 


just as i was about to go and make some lunch there was a knock on the door. I walked over and opened the door to see Dean standing there. "Hi" i said and he replied with hi. i invited him in and we sat down at the table. 


"I wouldn't know if you've noticed but Mum and my sister have moved out. they are living somewhere else now and they are waiting for me to empty my room to sell it." he said and i looked at him and back at the floor. 


"So you're leaving" i said and crossed my legs. 


"Meant to be" he replied and i looked at him. 


"Live here" i pretty much demanded him to and his face changed to surprised and confused. 


"Move in here. You can live with me but please just don't go" i said and he smiled a little before nodding his head and i pretty much jumped from my chair to his until i was sitting on him. he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged my tight and his head was buried in my neck. 


See the thing is, i don't know how i feel about Dean. i know that i like him, a lot but i don't know how to tell him that. 


i got up and off him and he told me he was going to go start bringing stuff over and i agreed. he also told his mum and she didnt care. He came back inside with some clothes and i walked into my walk in robe and moved a few of my things and he hung his stuff up. 


Before he left again to get more stuff and i was moving things, when i turned around my face collided with his and he kissed me. i grabbed onto his shirt and his arms went around my waist. then his hands moved down over my ass and he picked me up so i wrapped my legs around him and he walked out and i was thrown on the bed. 


He took of my shirt and kissed me again before trailing his lips down my body and i watched him to it. when he came back to my face, i sat up and pulled of his shirt to see his defined abs and i put my hand on his chest before he leaned back down. 


"should we be doing this?" i asked as he kissed my neck and i could feel him smile. "Shhhh" he said back into my neck and he continued to kiss my neck until i put my hand on his cheek and he stopped and looked at me. he got up and pulled me up with him and he walked out of the house and got some more stuff from his place and i got undressed and hopped into the shower. 


there was a little commotion and then the shower door opened and i saw him as he stepped into the shower and put his hands on my hips and we moved back so i felt the cold wall on my back. i was staring into Dean's eyes and he was looking back at me until he reached down and softly kissed me.


i put my hands on either side of his face as the kiss got more passionate and then he pulled my towards him and moved so he was leaning on the wall and i was against him. i was on my toes, not being able to reach up any further, i could feel his dick on my lower stomach and he reached down slightly to kiss me. 


I moved my hands so they went through his hair, slightly tugging on it. his tongue licked my bottom lips and we fought each other until he won dominance gaining entry to explore my mouth. his hands moved from my hips, down to my ass and he slightly griped it and turning me on. 


his lips trailed to my neck and he was giving my love bits and kisses until he got to where my neck meets my shoulders and i felt shivers rush completely through my body making me moan a little. his hands left my body and the water turned of making me open my eyes to find him grabbing a towel and wrapping it around me and then another one for him. i dried myself and pulled my robe around my body and tied it up. he left the towel hanging around his hips and we both walked out to the kitchen and i got a drink. i looked over to the dining room to see Jasper asleep on one of the chairs. 


he stood right behind me and i turned around and looked at him. i put both my hands on the bench and pushed myself up onto the bench and pulled him in-between my legs wrapping them around his torso. i pecked his lips and then his jawline, his neck, and straight ahead of my face on his chest. 


"I can't take this anymore" he mumbled before picking me up and going back into the bedroom creating me to smile and putting me on the bed. he undid my robe and threw his towel on the ground before he put his dick inside of me making me grip the sheets. 


as he was quickly thrusting in and out my lips slightly parted, my head tilted back and i arched my back. The pleasure was pulsating throughout my body. i enjoyed it, a lot. it was my first real time where i actually wanted this to happen. i moaned as he continued on and when he started to slow down, my hands loosened and my back sunk down into the bed allowing my head to look at him. 


he lied beside me and i got up letting my robe hang and went and got out fresh underwear and a bra let. i put on my underwear and dropped my robe putting on my bra before walking out to the kitchen. 


i pulled down all the blinds so nobody could see in and got out the ice cream. i leant on the counter and ate it and looked to my side to see Dean standing there with underwear on making me smirk a little with the spoon of ice cream in my mouth. i stood up and grabbed another spoon and Dean walked over so i gave it to him. he sat on the bench and ate the ice cream while i stood between his legs and had a spoon in between his spoonfuls.


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