Chapter 4 – School day
My clock was ringing. But, why I didn’t react on it was a mystery. It was like I was locked under my blanket, and it wasn’t at all aloud for me to get up. I turned my face to see my brother laid beside me. I didn’t say anything but the more I looked at him the more blood came and filled my bed. I thought about screaming, but instead I turned my face to the other side, and faced Maxon. If I hadn’t screamed before I’m sure that I did at that point. He had a knife with blood on, which matched the mark I had seen on my brother. I closed my eyes and when I opened them, again it was all gone. My mom stood over my bed and tried to wake me up. “Noreen darling, wake up” She said, and I took her in for a hug as the first thing when I actually was awake. “It’s just nightmares,” I said as if it was me comforting my mother.
My mother left the room after 10 minutes, and I had to be the best me today. I went to the shower to get clean from all the sweat, and the feeling of blood from my brother. There hadn’t been a knife, and Maxon hadn’t been the one to kill him. I let the water pounder over my face and my body. I wanted to stay there forever, and never think of my brother again. However, the water soon began to get cold, and I knew I had to get finish before Jungkook came. He would think I had killed myself or planned to if I didn’t come. Moreover, I would not even do it, because it was too easy. And I would always be a fighter. I at least thought so.
I took my golden blond hair and sat it in a ponytail. Some of my bangs didn’t make it so made them fall with the side of my face. I always felt pretty with my hair like that. Never knew if I was the only one, but to me it doesn’t matter. I tried to make I look as if I was confident about myself while I tried hiding my thoughts to myself. I took my black jeans on, the one who made my arse look so much better than anything else did. I wanted to make Maxon horny, but only to turn him down. I wanted him to feel how I felt when my whole heart broke into a million pieces. I grab my red bra from the chair, and afterwards took my black and white striped top. The back of it was invisible, so I knew that everybody world see my bra. It wasn’t unusual for me to go to school with an outfit like this. Some days, I just had to feel like everybody’s eyes were on me. Maybe I just wanted to see if Maxon still felt anything for me. It kind of made me happy that I would mean something to someone. It made it easier to stay in this life.
The doorbell rang and I knew it would be Jungkook. I ran down stairs with my back over one side and a smile on my face. It had been a terrible morning, but it could only get better from now on. I opened the door with a smile, and caught the eyes of Maxon. What was he doing here? My smile disappeared as fast as I had put it on. “What are you doing here?” I just asked him. No feelings where to be spotted in my voice, other than the cold ice I hope you could see in my eyes. I had totally forgot about what I was wearing, so when he didn’t say anything and just looked choked, I didn’t understood why. “Maxon?” I asked and this time some of my feelings slept out. He seemed to react on it and finally look me right in the eyes. “I just wanted to see if you were all right, but I can see you’re more than fine. Perfect actually” He looked stunned to me, and then I remembered what I was wearing. I’d been save in a moment when my phone started ringing. It was Jungkook. “I just have to take this” Even though I wanted to be evil to Maxon, it didn’t come naturally to me. So in those spilt seconds my sweet self, came forward. “Hey where are you?” I asked him over the phone. “My mother wanted me to do the laundry. I think we have to meet at the school. Please don’t kill yourself on the way there” I could hear his worries on the phone and he really thought I would do it. “I promise” And with those words I hadn’t said to much in the presents of Maxon. We hung up and I looked at Maxon. It was as if he could see right through me, and it scared me a little.
It was now I had to tell him what a horrible human I had been against him without him knowing. Now, he would finally start hating me. “You know, it wasn’t the attach on my brother that killed him, right?” I tripped over the next words and it was actually harder for me to tell him than I thought. “Appendicitis” The word came out. Without any explanation. I saw how the light that had been in his chocolate brown eyes left him. I was sure he was going to turn around and leave me. Why would he still be in love with a girl who made him feel so hard on himself when she really knew what had happened? But even though the light had disappeared he was still standing there. “I’m so sorry. I could have saved him” I suddenly understood that he hadn’t been sad for not saving him, but because it made me sad. The way I knew was what he did next.