2. Making up my mind
Chapter 2 – Making up my mind
I thought about his words over and over again. Once again, I kept it a secret for Jungkook. He wouldn’t understand what those words actually meant. Nevertheless I wouldn’t even think about talking to Maxon again. He might once have been the boy of my dreams, with his blond hair, and his really beautiful smile. *Stop yourself girl. He is not and never will be the boy you go out with.* Maybe I knew he hadn’t been the one to make my brother suffer, but I knew he had watched. I never found out why he knew me at the time the letter arrived, but he did, and he knew it was my little brother. I woke up when I bumped into Maxon.
The last period was over and I suddenly remembered where I was. I was about to fall because of my none-existing balance, when someone had their arms around me. I would have thought it was Jungkook if it wasn’t because of the strengths in these arms. “Sorry my dear” he said, and without even opening my eyes I knew what sight I would cut. It would be the colour of chocolate brown eyes, if I didn’t have the feeling like going to hell. Of cause, it would be his arms, but I had to keep my head up. And so I opened my eyes. True. It really was true that the arms belonged to Maxon. I kind of had to forgive him someday but it wasn’t today. “Thank you” I said when I got up on my own feet. “And if you may have me excused” I went out of the school and home as fast as could without letting anyone see me crying or running.
I had to get home, so I could remember myself why I really hated him and why I would want him to feel guilty. Jungkook reached me before I got too far away from the school. “Hey Re wait up” He said, and maybe I slowed down a little bit. “Oppa I don’t really want to talk about what happened in there, cause I barely no it myself” The words came out much faster then I intended them to, and more aggressive. Maybe I should tell him why I’m so angry with Maxon, or maybe I should just find out what I’m thinking.
Jungkook stopped me from moving on. “Re, relax. Okay” I could see the fear in his eyes. Maybe I just should do as he said. Just stop and relax. So I tried to do so. If it helped, I couldn’t feel it. My brain tried to find a reason to hate everyone, but my heart was trying so hard to make its way out in the light. I just wasn’t ready to forgive anyone. And because of that one little mistake made for about a year ago I would want to make Maxon’s life miserable. I maybe had to tell Jungkook one day, but first I had to forgive myself for not being able to protect my brother. “Oppa the thing that happened in there was that I walked in my own mind, which I never do, and I just bumped into Maxon.” I said and looked him in his scared eyes. “It’s nothing to be worried about” I laid my hand on his shoulder and took him in for a hug. He had been there for me like a big brother and he have always been there for me. So it wasn’t at all surprising to see him worried about me. He pulled away from the hug and laid his arm around my shoulders and then we walked home to me in silence. It was nice just to be there with him, without any words between us.