Well...THAT was enlightening...
I lie in the bed in one of our spare rooms and stare at the ceiling. I got back at 3am and there was no way I was going back in the marital bed with Linc. I don't know when or even if, at this moment in time, that will ever happen again.
If someone had told me this morning that I would be spending my evening with a man who likes to dominate women, watching people have sex in all manner of ways, I'd have recommended they see a shrink!
And what about the fact that I found the whole experience totally...HOT..?
I squirm in the bed. I've never even seen another couple have sex, let alone contemplated getting so turned on by kinky sex. Linc was my first and up until forty-eight hours ago, I assumed we'd be together...well...forever. I was happy and I thought he was too.
So why did he stray? It couldn't just be because he wanted to further the business.
But after what I saw tonight, part of me actually understands the thrill of doing something secret and illicit. I certainly enjoyed what I saw...
I close my eyes as various erotic images of the evening, dance behind my eyelids.
'This could be part of your world, Elena. I'd love to test your limits..."
I gasp as a vision of Adam saying those words plays out in my mind. I already thought he was handsome, but those words coming out of that sensuous mouth so close to my ear, make me squirm anew.
Okay, I admit it. Despite only just meeting him, I'm very attracted to him and curious to find out more about what being a Dominant entails 'in his world'.
I didn't think I could ever be attracted to someone like Adam, but he's handsome, exudes wealth and power and is sexy as hell. Even more so when he wore that black zorroesque mask at the club to hide his identity from prying eyes. Thank goodness he had a spare mask for me, as I couldn't run the risk of being recognised either.
Imagine someone from Tennis Club recognising me!
What I saw tonight though, had really opened up a new world full of sexual promise. Is that what was drawing me to it? It had been a few weeks since Linc and I had last been intimate and to be honest, I could probably take or leave sex. We'd been married for 15 years - isn't it natural the sexual urge wanes?
Well not for Linc, apparently. I think bitterly.
"You are a Goddess, Elena. Join me in this lifestyle and let me worship you..."
Could I do that? Live a double-life full of secrets and infidelity like Linc had done to me?
My eyes spring open. It all made sense now. Why our lovemaking had decreased in frequency over the years. My dearest husband was getting his rocks off with goodness knows how many other women, whilst I played the dutiful wife at home and helped him run the business. Maybe if I'd been able to have children and provide him with Roger Lincoln Junior, it would have helped him to stay faithful.
Is that where I had failed him?
"You deserve so much better than that asshole you're married to..."
Maybe Adam's right. Maybe nothing I did or didn't do, would have kept Linc's fidelity. So why am I feeling so guilty?
My eyes slide open. Doesn't look like I'll be getting to sleep anytime soon. Maybe I'll go get myself a large glass of Chianti to help me relax. I slip out of bed and pause in the hallway. Looking down the corridor I stare guiltily at our bedroom door.
Maybe I should just check he's okay...
I gently pad towards the door and open it softly. Moonlight streams in from the large bay windows, bathing the room in soft light.
Why the hell hasn't he closed the drapes..?
I turn my head towards the bed and gasp.
I snap on the light and blink rapidly as my eyes adjust to the brightness. I scan the room. The bed hasn't been touched and everything is as I'd left it.
Where IS he?
I snap the light off and try his dressing room, and all the upstairs rooms in sequence, but there is no sign of him. I pad downstairs and check all the rooms but everywhere is empty and still. I have only one other option. Sure enough, his car keys, wallet and phone are all missing as is his Mercedes. I pour myself a large glass of Chianti and head back upstairs. Grabbing my phone off the charger, I fire it up and send him a text:
You wanted me home, so I came home. Now I discover you're not here. Where are you? E
I send the text and climb into bed. It's after 4am, so I doubt he'll reply for a few hours.
I suddenly clutch at my throat.
What if he's lying in a ditch somewhere? Shit...
I grab my phone again.
Just let me know you are ok. X
Where is he? Why spend hours begging me to come home, then when I do he's not even here? Where the hell would he go in the middle of the night..?
Realisation hits me like a hard jab to the ribs.
He's off screwing around with someone who 'means nothing to him'.
And here I am feeling guilty!!
Bastard! Lying, cheating SON-OF-A-BITCH!
I gulp down the Chianti, draining the goblet and then hurl it against the wall, shattering it into a million pieces. Oh, that will be a bitch to clear up in the morning, but right now, I don't give a shit. It feels good to smash something. I lie down on the bed with a bump and shut my eyes as the Chianti begins to course through my veins. Before I finally lose consciousness, a vision of Alex in his black mask, swims into my mind.
"So, what will it be Elena? Are you ready for a little...DANGER..?"
I'm woken by the sound of my phone vibrating against the nightstand. Groggily, I reach for it as I squint scratchy, dry eyes against the morning sun. Finally focusing on the screen I see it's an incoming text from Linc and it's 7:45am.
I didn't think you were coming home last night. I went to a bar and had a few too many, so stayed in a Motel. I have a breakfast meeting, but I can meet you for lunch? I know we need to talk. Say 1pm at Piccolino's? L
What the fuck? He may have fooled me in the past, but there is no way he is fooling me anymore. And why the hell would I want to talk to him in a restaurant full of people?
Anger rises within me.
I'd rather NOT discuss our private business in the middle of restaurant. Can you come home for lunch?
Honey, you know how snowed under I am with getting the Bartolo contract. If I come home, I'd never get back to the office. Our talk will have to wait until I get home tonight. Don't cook - we'll get take-out. Gotta go. L x
So I now have to sit here and stew all day until he graces me with his presence tonight, so I can hear more of his lies and bullshit.
I DON'T THINK SO!
Brimming with barely contained anger, I punch put a text.
Are you free for lunch today? I'm ready for a little danger. Call me. Elena