Permanent Mistakes

“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


3. chapter 3

Ashton's POV (of the last chapter)

I don't know how long Juliet and I talked for -long enough for me to sober up a little- but I wish I'd have done it sooner than I did. I don't know why I waited six years to say anything to her. I guess I'm just too much of a pussy. Ever since I met her in sixth grade I've thought she was the most fascinating person, and I guess I just thought that she'd think I'm too boring to talk to or something.

I don't know why I was ever so scared to talk to her, because she's like the most down to Earth people I've met and she actually reminds me a lot of me. She likes a lot of the same things as me and we have pretty much the same personality...and I think I like that...a lot.

Half way through I just started letting her rant and I couldn't help but get so transfixed at how passionately she feels about things, and how into the conversation she is. I don't think she noticed, but I kept getting closer to her. She didn't notice till I was about a foot away from her face and she didn't back away like I thought she would, she stayed right where she was.    

I never thought I would ever get this far with her and I had have a sense to not make a move on her and be modest about this situation, but who am I kidding, I'm never been a modest person. Before I was done contemplating on what to do I noticed her gorgeous green eyes looking down at my lips, and than back up to make eye contact. Before I could even think of what to do I pressed my lips against hers...and it felt way better than I thought it would. You'd think that after six years of fantasizing about this I'd be a little more aggressive, but I felt like this might possibly be the only chance I'll ever get for this, so might as well make it last, so I kept it slow and as romantic as possible. I know this might not mean anything to her at all, but no one will never understand how much this means to me. 

After a good amount of time passed of what has to be the absolute highlight of my life, I did possibly the stupidest thing I could ever do, I got way too into it and slowly started to lay her down onto my pillows underneath me. I expected her half way through to shove me off and run away, but like before, she stayed all cool about it, and let me lead her into this terrifying decision. Once I laid her down, I was just so damn terrified that I couldn't even speak, so I just looked into her eyes -that are perfect by the way- and listened to the dull music from downstairs, I'm kinda glad I didn't put it too loud tonight, because than this moment wouldn't be as perfect as it is. After I summoned up as much courage as I could, I finally said something "Juliet?"

"Ya?" I paused for a second and it finally hit me that even if it's just for tonight, I've got the best girl in the world all to myself.

"You know you're beautiful right?" I don't know why I said it, but she seems like she doesn't hear it enough, so there shouldn't be any harm in telling her the truth.

"I am?" What did I say? She sounded so shocked that I thought that and I kind of felt bad. How could no one have told her that? 

"Ya, and I just wanted you to know that" She looked really skeptical about me saying that, so I just hope she believe me when I say it.

"Thanks" She said, obviously not knowing what to say, but I'll take a thanks.

I was temporarily frozen in shock that I've even gotten this far with her, so after a minuet I finally grew some balls and made a move. I came down ever so slowly and our lips locked one more time, but a little more heated this time. I just could hold myself back. I wasn't rough with her, but just enough to show how long I've waited for this.

I really tried to hold myself back from just ripping her clothes off before I chickened out, so I wasn't rough, but I was fast about it. I went over to my dresser drawer and looked for a spare condom. I don't ever need to use them -mostly because I haven't had sex in like almost a year, only wanting it to be with her, but being to fucking pussy to even talk to her- so it was actually kind of hard to find one. Once I did I got it on as fast as possible and went back over to her, but than stopped, noticing how she almost looked like she didn't want to do this. Shit, now this is going to make things even more awkward between us than it already is. "What's wrong?" I asked.

Once I asked she looked like she just pushed what she was thinking aside "Oh, nothing" She said with a reassuring smile, so I took her word for it and got back on top of her .

"You ready?" I asked, more because of the look she had on her face before. If she really doesn't want to do this than I won't make her. But once I asked, she gave me the funniest looks, like she couldn't believe I asked "What's wrong?"

"Oh nothing, just no one had ever asked me that before sex" Wow, I always knew her ex's were dick bags, but I thought it was just a thing to ask before sticking it in. I might just be weird though, but oh well, she seems like she likes it though.

"Oh, well I'm different I guess. Just goes to show how much better I am than them" I said with a corny ass wink, trying more to make myself ok with what she said.

A second later I went to stick it in and it slid right in. Shit, I guess she really did want to have sex with me. Right as I got all the way to back -at least as much as I could fit that is- and she moaned so load that everybody could probably hear her over the music downstairs. I stopped "What was that?" I asked with a chuckle. I've waited so damn long to hear her moan like that and I didn't think I ever would. I guess her ex's have more dick in their personality.

She looked so agitated that I stopped and it just got me going even more, so I figured I could prolong it for a little bit "I haven't had sex in a while ok" She replied, looking more and more agitated by the second.

"I see" I almost laughed, but I wanted to catch her off guard, so I started thrusting in and out and I don't think I've ever felt so good. We've only been having sex for two minuets and it's already better than all the girls I've had sex with...actually only about four. I swear, her pussy is tight it feels like she's still a virgin, and it definitely feels like she feels just as good -or even more- than I feel, by the way it's spasming.

A little bit later we switched to doggy style and it was like she was possessed or something because she kept moaning "Oh my god" Over and over on repeat out of breath "Faster" She said, so I did "Harder" I did as she said one more time and than...I felt a tiny snap, but I'm just so damn close I can't stop. She just feels so good.  

"Oh shit" I moaned right before cumming. I pulled out a few seconds later, took the condom off, and went over to the garbage. It didn't look like it was leaking or anything, so I guess it was just me being paranoid. I went back over to the bed and laid down next to her, almost panting. I don't think I've ever felt that good before "How are you so tight?" I just don't get it. Even if a girl masturbates it can still get wider.

"Like I said, I haven't had sex in a while" She replied, trying to catch her breath too. Maybe she just doesn't masturbate.

"I can tell" I looked over at her and couldn't help but fall in love with that cute little smile she has "I hope you know you're really good too" 

She looked confused before she spoke "How? I didn't even do anything" That's what I thought she would say.

"That's not true though" I paused and she gave me the funniest look, so I clarified "Even just moving your hips the way you do and it's hard to explain, but you like spasm down there a lot, and I don't know, it just feels really good" I know I looked pretty embarrassed, which is really pathetic, but oh well.

"Really? I do?" She asked, looking all shocked. I don't know if her ex's broke up with her, but if so, they're fucking idiots, but than again, I think they they already are anyway.


"Ya, umm...give me your finger real quick" I said, trying to kind of demonstrate what happened in a way, so she did, and I wrapped my massive hand around her baby finger as best I could, and started squeezing it like a spasm "That's what it feels like"

"Oh" She said enlightened "So that's good?" More than good!

"Yes, and it's a first too" I said with a smile.

"Oh, so I'm a freak of nature now?" She teased, but I don't know why, but it kind of hurt to hear her say that about herself.

"Maybe, but I like it" I tried to play it cool and sexy, but I don't know if could pass it as that.

"Ok, as long as someone likes it" Oh you have no idea.


I walked downstairs a little while later after waking up next her and went downstairs for some food. I got into the kitchen and noticed her ex boyfriend Tanner who's guts I hate more than anything, and right as I got to my food stash -which I have a lock on, so I know no one will take any of my food. Yes I am very overprotective about my food-  he pushed me into the counter "What the fuck dude!" I yelled.

"Stay away from Juliet asshole. She's mine" He yelled back and tried to charge at me, but it failed epicly because he was obviously hammered.

"Dude, she's not your property" How he thinks he can control her is beyond me. They broke up a while ago and he still thinks he can control her, not that it was ok before, but it's definitely not ok now.

"Yes she is! She's still mine" He tried to swing at me, but still failed miserably.

"You need to get out" I said and like before, he tried to swing, but ended up punching the cabinet instead, and thank the fucking lord it's still ok, or mom would have my head on a platter.

"No, I need her!" This is honestly almost so pathetic that I almost wanted to laugh, but Luke, Mike, and Calum ended up noticing this and grabbing him.

"Dude, calm the fuck down" Mike said while he struggled.

Now that they were holding him I landed a punch strait to his gut and than to his cheek "Get the fuck out of my house!" I yelled to him and he shrugged the guy off him. He looked like he was leaving, but than tried to land another hit...without any luck again, and fell flat on his face. Now that I had to laugh at.

"Alright Tanner, it's time for you to leave" Mike said, and they carried him over to the door and threw him out.

"Did you even hear what he was saying about her?" I asked them, and they shook their heads "He kept yelling about how she's still his, and how much he needs her. It was kind of pathetic" I chuckled  while the guys laughed.

"Really?" Calum asked, still laughing.

"Well I already knew he was a douche, but this takes the cake" Mike said.

"Ya, they broke up like a long time ago, it's been like at least five months" Luke said "I feel bad for her, still having to deal with that shit" Ya, fuckin tell me about it.

"Ya, well I'm gonna go back upstairs" I said and started walking.

"Alright, keep on hittin that shit!" Mike yelled over and I laughed a little.

I got back up to my room and noticed Juliet out of bed all dressed "Hey, you finally woke up" Was all I could muster up, but I put on a smile anyways.

"Ya, and umm, did you go downstairs" She asked in a hurry. Shit, she can't leave yet. This might be the last time that we're together like this.

"Ya, why" I asked with a yawn. I should call her nyquil, because she's just knocked me out.

"Did you see Jake?" She asked.

"Ya, he's dominating in beer pong, do you have to go or something" I tried to hold back the fact that her leaving so abruptly crushed me inside, but I don't think it worked.

"Well I guess I don't, I'm just supposed to be his ride and I didn't want him to leave with one of his friends thinking I left him" Oh Jule, he wouldn't leave, he probably knows where you are. Her coming over was actually all planned out. Jake knew that I liked her and I convinced him to bring her here, so I could finally talk to her. The whole sex things wasn't planned at all, but it's always been in the back of my mind though. I know it all probably sounds bad, but it's not like I'm going to hurt her.

"Ok, well ya, he's still here, you want some?" I asked, holding out my bag of chips. I know I probably sounded like I was still drunk, but in all reality I'm just really tired.

"Sure" She said and we sat back down on my bed. I handed her the tv remote "Pick something" I said bluntly and than remembered that I don't have cable up here anymore "But I don't actually have cable up here, so you have to use netflix" I grabbed my blue ray remote, turned on netflix, and handed her the remote.

"Umm, ok" She replied and put on the first jackass movie, which caught me off guard. I didn't think girls liked this kind of stuff.

"Dude, you like jackass?" I asked. 

"Ya, is that weird?" She asked with the cutest look on her face.

"No, but I've never met a girl that would willingly put this show on and isn't appalled by it" She's a rare bread that's for sure.

"Well I'm a freak of nature, remember" She said with a corny wink...that I fell in love with.

"The good kind for sure" I said, trying to match her wink, but instead I think I looked like an even bigger retard.

We got about half way through the movie when she paused it out of no where "Hey Ashton?" She asked with the most pained expression that it just tore me in two.

"Ya, what's wrong?" I asked.

"Umm, how come you all of a sudden decided you wanted something to do with me?" And that's the one question I was hoping more than anything she wouldn't ask. I don't even know how to answer because I can't tell her the embarrassing truth, that I've just been to scared to talk to her.

I know my answer is the worst, but it's better than telling her how terrified I was in my book "I don't know, because you always seemed pretty cool" It's not really lie, I have always thought that, but it's not the whole truth either. Even though that's all I told her, I still got embarrassed as hell.

"Oh, well you could have talked to me in school you know" She replied with the sweetest smile that I've always loved. It hasn't ever changed...and I like that. 

"I know, but we could never be alone there" Shit! Now she probably thinks I was just using her or something. I'm so fucking stupid! But I have to redeem myself somehow "You might not believe me, but I don't do so great when I'm in a huge group of people. I'm like wicked awkward, always have been" That's why I never really said anything the day we met, I'm just so damn awkward around her.

"You seemed fine downstairs though" She said, and I know I just got super red.

"I know, cause I was trying really hard not to be awkward as hell, but I still thought I was" She looked a little skeptical again about what I said and now I know this is probably the last night I will ever get with her again, all because of my stupid mouth. 

"Oh, well I thought I was the awkward one" She replied with a little giggle...that's adorable by the way.

"Nah, you're fine" I said with a smile. In more ways than one.

She looked over at the clock again which read one thirty and it finally hit me that she has to leave sometime "Umm, I should probably get going before I fall asleep again, if I do, my mom would murder me" She said with a chuckle. 

"Ok, well watch out for all these drunk asses on the road" I said, dying a little inside, while walking her downstairs to her brother. The music had finally stopped and everybody was finally just chilling, so I think I'm good on all the confrontations for now.

We found Jake in the dining room cheering on Matt who sucks at beer pong, so he's a lost cause. We walked over to him and when he looked at us he knew exactly what had happened, and I half expected him to get defensive, but he's way too smashed for that. He's weird when he's drunk, he acts like he's high instead, he's just chill with everything.

"We gotta go" She said and he started walking to the door "Keys" Is all she had to say and he handed them over.

I fallowed them to the door and before she walked out I spoke "I just want you to know I had a really good time tonight, and I hope you did too" I don't know why she gave me the look she did, it was like she was shocked I asked or something. All these ex's she has are getting on my nerves more and more tonight. Just by her expressions about stuff I say I can tell they never appreciated her like they should have. It's honestly pissing me off to the point where I just want to beat some sense into them.

"Ya, I did" She said with that amazing smile she has "Bye"

I shut the door and walked over to Calum "Dude, I don't know what to do" 

"About what?" He asked, and the other guys walked over to us.

"Juliet. She probably just thinks that I was only talking to her because I wanted to get into her pants" I want to tell her it's more than that to me, but she'll probably think I'm weird since we never actually talked before.

"But didn't you though?" Mike asked.

"Well ya, but not like that" God, this is making me seem like such an asshole "Not just that" Now I'm just getting frustrated "You know what I mean"

"Dude, calm down. We know. I was just messing with you" He replied "So, why don't you just make an effort to talk to her in school or something" 

"I would, but I'll be a total fucking idiot and all awkward" I said, frustrated.

"Ok, well how bout this" Mike said "If you don't talk to her we will" 

"Mike, no" I replied. Knowing him, he'll make her like him without even trying, and I can't have that.

"Fine, but we can't make any promises. You just have to grow a pair and talk to her at school already. You've already hit home base with her, so she'll definitely be back for more" He gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher "And judging by that load ass moan I herd, she'll definitely be back for more" Damn, I guess she really was load enough for people to hear her.

I raised my eyebrow at him in question of how he herd it.

"I was in the bathroom, but if any girl moans like that than she would at least talk to you" He said.

"Ya, she'd probably hop right on" Calum said, taking a drink of his water in attempt at trying to sober up enough so his parents won't kill him.

"But that's not all I want though. I mean, that's definitely a bonus, but it was nice just talking to her" And I want that again, but after her thinking I just used her, than she probably won't want to be near me again.

"Ya, we know, that's why we're convincing you to talk to her. Just grow a pair already. If you can talk to her around everybody here, than why not at school?" Calum asked. He just doesn't understand. Thinking about talking to her terrifies me. Like what if she totally rejects me next time because of tonight?


About an hour later everybody was gone except for Luke who said he could help clean up tomorrow, because Calum and Micheal are leaving to go see family. 

We cleared off the couch and recliner to go to sleep "Dude, just talk to her" Luke said before passing out.

I wish I could. I know now that I can talk to her fine, but now it's terrifying because she might completely reject me.


"Ashton!" I herd a woman constantly yell from somewhere in this darkness. I kept searching and searching, but it's no use, I can't see a thing, and every time I seem like I might be getting closer, the voice gets farther away.

"Help!" She was yelling now and it just made me run even faster in search for her, but no use, so I just stood there and closed my eyes, hoping she might come over my way.

Suddenly all noise stopped and it was eerily quiet. I opened my eyes and who stood before me was none other than the most beautiful girl I have ever seen...Juliet Carter.

"Ashton, why didn't you run after me?" She looked so crushed it killed me.

"But I did" I tried to say, but my mouth wouldn't open.

Tears started to form in her eyes now "Why aren't you saying anything?" Again, my mouth wouldn't move and she started crying now "Ashton, talk to me. Why are you doing this?" She kept going on and on like this, each sentence looking even more crushed and crying even harder.

I wanted so desperately to wipe away her tears and hug the shit out of her, but my entire body wouldn't move. I was paralyzed completely and it was starting to piss me off. I just want her to know how bad this is killing me. I need to tell her it's going to be ok and I'm not doing this on purpose.

"Ashton" She whispered with one last tear running down her cheek "I have to go" She turned around and disappeared without even looking back.

"Juliet! Come back!" I nothing. It was all a bunch of nothingness around me and it just made me want her to come back even more.


I woke up in a sweat with Luke sitting in the recliner obviously waiting for me to wake up. He' smart, he knows not to wake me up anymore if doesn't want to almost accidentally get punched in the face.

"Dude, are you ok?" Luke asked with a funny look on his face "What did you dream about?"

"I'm fine, and umm, I don't know what my dream was" I said, knowing full well what I dreamed about. This one I actually remember. I remember Juliet crying and it was like it ripped my heart out and crushed it. I don't ever want to see that in person, because it'll probably be worse than in my dreams. This dream I really hope doesn't come true.

"Oh, well you were tossing and turning so much that I can't believe you didn't fall off the couch, and you kept mention Juliet. Dude, I guess she really is in your dreams" He chuckled, but I didn't find it all that amusing. She's always in my dreams...but they're never that bad, they're usually good.

"Ya, I guess so, but uh, we should probably start cleaning up" I said, and we did. I started in the kitchen and Luke in the living room, which was the hardest room from all the weed, and I think someone brought coke which pissed me off royally. I can't get caught with that shit here, that's where I draw the line. I'm fine with weed, but any other drug is just too big of a risk. I'm not really afraid of cops finding out, but more my mom, she would probably disown me.

We had to break out so much Febreze it was was retarded. I actually have to go to the store and get more so mom doesn't think anything went on.


We finally got the whole house clean, including outside, which surprisingly wasn't that hard this time. People were actually pretty clean outside. People must have figured out by now that I at least need the outside clean if they want me to keep throwing parties every vacation. It's the one thing that hate more than anything, when people completely trash the outside just as bad as inside. In my opinion it takes longer to clean than inside, so I just can't have that anymore.

I dropped Luke back off to his house and started taking a detour to Target because a part of the main highway was being dug up and rebuilt, but on my way I saw Juliet panting on the sidewalk, so I pulled over next to her. After a second she finally looked over at me threw the window and noticed it was me. I guess I can grow a pair and talk to her, since the guys won't shut up about it, and I can't have them talking to her first, or she might end up liking them more than me before she even really knows me. I rolled down the window a second later "Are you ok?" I asked, knowing full she wasn't. I mean, she looks likes she's dying.









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