Permanent Mistakes

“For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”
-William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet


2. chapter 2

Ashton and I sat and talked for a good hour or so, and I actually started to get to know him. I don't know why I was ever nervous around him. He's actually a pretty cool guy. I found out we have the same taste in music, which is a deal breaker, if you don't like Blink 182 than we can't be friends. We have a lot of other stuff in common too, like to do with our personality and how we view things.

I hadn't realized it until now, but he kept inching toward me, so now his face is about a foot away from mine. Normally I would have backed away, but this is Ashton we're talking about, if his gorgeous face wants to meet mine than ok.

I looked down at his lips, than back up to his eyes -which are perfect by the way- and before I knew it, our lips were locked. I'd have thought he'd be into more aggressive kissing, but it's surprisingly slow and somewhat romantic. I know this probably doesn't mean anything to him at all, but no one will ever understand how much this means to me. I've wanted this ever since we met when I was twelve, maybe I didn't picture it quite like this, but you get the idea. He probably doesn't even remember meeting me, but we did, in the hallway to lunch. We were both late and walking opposite directions, he obviously wasn't looking at all where he was going, so his head ran strait into my boobs -back when everyone was shorter than me- we walked down to lunch together in complete silence, I know I was scared to talk to him because I thought he was wicked cute, but I don't know why he never said anything to me, he probably thought I was a weirdo or something. I don't know why after six years he's finally decided to talk to me, but hey, I'm not complaining. Although it's not like he's completely ignored me, whenever we see each other in the hallways we always give a courtesy smile or a hi, but I don't really count that for anything, but at least he acknowledges my existence.  

After about what felt like five minuets of passionate kissing, he slowly laid me down onto his pillows underneath him...and my heart is going to beat out of my chest, not because I've never had sex before -because I've had like three boyfriends- but because ever since I've even thought about having sex with anyone, he was the first guy I actually thought I wanted to have sex with. After he did that he didn't do anything except stare into my eyes, not talking, nothing. It was silent besides the music we could hear from the close door, but I was more focused on the sound of him breathing and my constant thoughts saying kiss him already.

A moment later he finally spoke "Juliet?" 

"Ya?" I don't know why he would be asking a question, but ok I guess.

"You know you're beautiful right?" Ok, now that was way out in left field.

"I am?" I asked shocked. I honestly don't think I'm that pretty, but to each hi own I guess.

"Ya, and I just wanted you to know that" Ok, than. I'm not that naive, I know he's only telling me this to get into my pants, but I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this kind of shit.

"Thanks" I said with a mix of nervousness and awkwardness, mostly because I didn't really know what to say.

Another minuet went buy of him staring into my eyes and he finally made a move. He came down slowly and our lips locked once more, but a little more heated this time, not rough, but more heated. 

Before I even knew it all of our clothes were on the floor and he was rummaging through one of his dresser drawers for a condom, and I started contemplating what I was about to do. Shit, what if he's only doing this to tell everyone that I'm easy or something. That would suck.    

Ashton came over raring to go by the looks of his stiff package, but than stopped once he got close to me "What's wrong?" He asked, actually sounding genuinely concerned.

I snapped out of it, only because this is what I've wanted for years and it's finally happening "Oh, nothing" I said and he got over top of me again.

"You ready?" I never thought I'd hear a guy ask that before sex. I'm sure I looked as shocked as I felt, because he gave me a funny look "What's wrong?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just no one has ever asked me that before sex" Might not have been the best idea to talk about other sex partners right before having sex with someone else.

"Oh, well I'm different than I guess. Just goes to show you I'm better than them" He said with a corny ass wink, which was really fucking adorable. A second later he went to stick it in and slid right in. I think my moan was so load that everyone downstairs could probably hear me "What was that?" Ugh, why'd you stop???

"I haven't had sex in a while ok" I broke up with my ex like five months ago, so I'm pretty deprived.

"I see" He almost laughed, but instead he started thrusting in and out and I don't think I've ever felt so good. We've only been having sex for like two minuets and it's already better than all of my ex's combined. I swear, Ashton's dick has to be a good eight or nine inches, and holy fuckin shit he knows how to use it. 

A little bit later I flipped over into doggy style "Oh my god" I kept saying on repeat out of breath "Faster" I said and he did "Harder" He did as I said once more and than...I felt a snap. Shit! We can't stop though, it feels so good.

I don't think Ashton felt it because he just kept on going "Oh shit" He moaned, than started slowing down, and it felt so damn good.

He pulled out, took the condom off,threw it in the garbage, and it didn't look like it ripped, so I guess it was just me being paranoid. He came over and laid down next to me, almost panting "How are you so tight?"

"Like I said, I haven't had sex in a while" I replied, trying to catch my breath also.

"I can tell" He looked over at me now and I couldn't help but fall in love his his perfect hazel eyes "I hope you know you're really good too" 

"How? I didn't even do anything" I'm confused now. How can you be good if you didn't even do anything except take it.

"That's not true though" He paused and I gave him a funny look "Even just moving your hips the way you do and it's hard to explain, but you like spasm down there a lot, and I don't know, it just feels really good" He looked almost embarrassed about saying that and it was so adorable.

"Really? I do?" I didn't even know I did, oh well, I guess it's a good thing.

"Ya, umm...give me your finger real quick" He said, so I did, and he wrapped his hand around it as best he could -because his hands are like massive compared to mine- and started squeezing it like a spasm "That's what it feels like"

"Ohhh" I said in enlightenment "So that's good?"

"Yes, and it's a first too" He said with a smile.

"Oh, so I'm a freak of nature now?" I teased.

"Maybe, but I like it" He replied in the sexiest voice ever.

"Ok, as long as someone likes it" I'll be your freak of nature any day.


I didn't realize it, but I fell asleep, I looked over at his clock on the desk next to me and it read twelve forty five, so I shot right up and got my clothes back on. Not even two seconds later Ashton walked back in "Hey, you finally woke up" He said with a smile, and have I mentioned how adorable his dimples are.

"Ya, and umm, did you go downstairs?" I asked in a hurry.

"Ya, why?" He asked with a yawn.

"Did you see Jake?" I asked, hoping he didn't leave with one of his drunk friends thinking that I left him.

"Ya, he's dominating in beer pong, do you have to go or something?" When he asked the last part I could tell he sounded a little crushed, but he hid it pretty well.

"Well I guess I don't, I'm just supposed to be his ride and I didn't want him leaving with one of his friends thinking I left him" If he did and he didn't die in an accident, he'd still be six feet under, I would murder him in his sleep, maybe even before mom.

"Ok, well ya, he's still here, you want some?" He asked, holding out a bag of chips.

"Sure" I could tell he was still sort of drunk and I know he's probably not going to remember a thing, which is kind of depressing, but I guess I can deal, at least I know what happened.

We sat back down on his bed and he handed me the tv remote "Pick something, but I don't actually have cable up here, so you have to use netflix" He said, turning on his blue ray and handing me that remote instead.

"Umm, ok" I replied and put on the first jackass movie.

"Dude, you like jackass?" He asked, sounding wicked shocked for some reason.

"Ya, is that weird?" Well I am a freak of nature, so I guess it's only natural.

"No, but I've never met a girl that would willingly put this show on and isn't appalled by it"

"Well I'm a freak of nature, remember" I said with a corny wink.

"The good kind for sure" He said, trying to match my wink, and I think I just fell in love.

We got about half way through the movie when I paused it "Hey Ashton?"

"Ya, what's wrong?" He asked, seeing how pained my expression is.

"Umm, how come you all of a sudden decided you wanted something to do with me?" It might sound bad, but I just don't get why after six years of nothing he decided that I was worth talking to.

"I don't know, because you always seemed pretty cool" He said, looking embarrassed again.

"Oh, well you could have talked to me in school you know" I replied with a smile.

"I know, but we could never be alone there" Oh, there it is, he just wanted to have sex with me, that's the catch "You might not believe me, but I don't do so great when I'm in a huge group of people, I'm like wicked awkward, always have been" Oh, but you didn't seem so awkward tonight around everyone.

"You seemed fine downstairs though" I said, and he started blushing hard core.

"I know, cause I was trying really hard not to be awkward as hell, but I still thought I was" I still find this a little bit bullshit, but than again, he could be telling the truth, he is a little drunk still.

"Oh, well I thought I was the awkward one" I replied laughing a little.

"Nah, you're fine" He said with cute ass smile.

I looked over at the clock again and it read one thirty "Umm, I should probably get going before I fall asleep again, if I do, my mom would murder me" I said with a chuckle.

"Ok, well watch out for all these drunk asses on the road" He said and we walked downstairs. The music stopped, but I still herd all of the talking and yelling.

I found Jake in the dining room cheering on his friend Matt who's losing terribly in beer pong. I walked over to him and when he looked at both Ashton and I he gave me that look like he knows exactly what we did and I blushed so bad. I'm not embarrassed that I had sex with him, but because he's never going to let it go.

"We gotta go" I said and he started walking to the door, and I'm pretty sure he hasn't noticed my eye, because he would be flipping shit right now "Keys" Is all I had to say and he handed them over.

Ashton fallowed us and before I walked out the door he spoke "I just want you to know I had a really good time tonight and I hope you did too" Wow, ever guy I've had sex with -mainly my ex boyfriends except like one other guy- hasn't cared what I thought about it. This is all sorts of weird.

"Ya, I did" I said "Bye"

After Ashton and I parted ways I got to the car and Jake was waiting for me, still not looking at my face. He's weird when he's drunk, he closes his eyes a lot "So you and Ashton huh?" Fucking great, he's never going to let this go.

"What about it?" I asked, not wanting to even talk about it.

A second later he finally looked at my face "Holy shit Jule! What happened?! If Ashton did this just say so, cause I'll kill him" He said, and I said the stupidest thing I could have ever said "Calm down". It never calms him down at all. Even right after I say it he flips out even more.

"Jake!" I yelled, getting a little fed up, so he stopped "It wasn't Ashton. A group of guys came over to him and started talking shit, so I punched one in the face and in turn he clocked me a good one too" I explained it and he looked a little relieved, but not much.

"Please tell me he beat the shit out of them" He said, waiting for me to tell him yes.

"Ya, him and Luke and a bunch of other guys helped and threw them out" I said, and he looked a whole lot better.

"Thank fucking god, but if I ever find out who they are their gonna regret this" He said, with a bit of a slur this time.

"Ok killer, lets just get home ok" I tried to back up a little so I wouldn't hit the car in front of me, but i ended up nicking the back light a light a little and the alarm went off, so I booked it out of there.

"Shit Jule, I thought you were supposed to be the good driver" Jake said and did laughing.

"I didn't say anything about being good, just being sober" I laughed. I really suck at driver his truck.


I woke up the next morning actually really happy for once...but than I found a text from my ex Tanner "Why the fuck were you with Ashton last night?"

"Why do you care?" I replied, it was more like a statement than a question.

I looked at the clock and it's ten in the morning. I can't believe he's actually up right now.

I went and changed into my yoga pants and Red Hot Chili Peppers crop top, than went back to my phone that went off with my Chewbacca ring tone "Because you know I don't like him" Ugh, this shit again.

"So, what I do isn't your business. Now fuck off already" He seriously needs to stop with this shit. We broke up five months ago and he still thinks he has a say on what I do.

I walked downstairs to the kitchen, grabbed a banana, and went and sat down next to my little sister Kelly "Whatcha watchin?"

"Teen Mom" She replied, eating a bite of cereal.  

"Oh, cool" Just than I got another text from Tanner "Yes, it is my business if I don't like him" Oh my fucking god.

"You know what? I'm going to ignore you now asshole" I replied. I shut the screen to my phone off and sat it on the table in front of me.

The whole time we were watching the show my phone was going off like crazy and I knew Tanner was freaking out, but I just ignored it.

"Are you gonna answer your phone or what?" Kelly asked, most likely getting annoyed buy the vibrating ever thirty seconds.

"Nope" I said bluntly.

"Why not? It's getting really annoying" She said.

"Because Tanner is being an asshole" I replied and she nodded her head in enlightenment.

A few minuets later Jake came down the stairs and at with us, putting his head in his hands "Jule, don't ever let me drink like that again" He says this every hangover, it's actually kind of funny. Still my phone was going off all the time, not every thirty seconds now, but more like every two minuets "Who's that?" He asked, knowing I never really text anyone.

"No one" I replied, not wanting him to freak out over it.

"It's Tanner" Kelly told him and I think she knew I was going to murder her, so he walked out of the room "And he's being a huge douche again"

"Seriously, let me see" He said and sat next to me and tried to take my phone, but I grabbed it before him.

"No, you're just going to be a dick about it" I said, even though I sounded stupid, because he has every right to act the way he does. I just don't like all the drama, I'd rather just try and ignore it all.

"So what, he's being a dick first, now let me see" He said, ripping my phone out of my hand. He started looking through all the texts and I'm really considering changing my password. "Jule, he's not going to get away with talking to you like this anymore. Have you even read the texts yet?" He looks so pissed it's almost scary.

"No" I said, and he handed me back my phone and I started reading through some of them and I couldn't help but feel like shit. He's really pulling out all the stops today, calling me every name under the sun, talking shit about my family and saying even if I try I'll never find someone who'll provide for me like he did. I'm not going to deny the fact that he bought me shit all the time, but everything he's saying such bullshit, and I don't want to believe him when he says how much a of an asshole and shit I am, because I'm the one who broke up with him. He just never did any of the small things, like listening to me when I talk, freeing his time to see me or talk to me, and he never really remembered anything that I would say. He never even remembered my birthday...and I remembered his and his two little sisters birthdays. He was almost too pathetic in a relationship.

I looked up and was brought out of my trance, seeing Jake bolt to the door "Oh shit, Jake, stop!" I yelled. This has gone way too far.

I ran outside to him and he was already turning his car on, so I ran over to him, but was too late, so I ran just started running to Tanners house, knowing that's exactly where he's headed.

I ran for about eight minuets -feeling like I was about to keel over and die not even half way through- when I stopped I noticed a car pulled over next to me. I looked through the window and saw it was Ashton. He rolled the window down "Are you ok?" Is that a rhetorical question? I'm dying right now and I'm sure I look it.



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