We are actors, not Star Fleet Officers!

Basically, Galaxy Quest with the cast of Star Trek The Original Series! A/N this is a Alternate Universe story weaved with fact and fiction regarding the relationships between the very real relationship shared between William Shatner and his co-stars. You have been warned.


11. Chapter 11

Two figures appeared on the transporter pad. On the Transporter pad were standing De and Karl Urban. De appeared to be in sports wear holding a racquet. Karl had on fluffy slippers holding a cup of coffee. Sarek stood alongside S'chon appearing to be perplexed.

"Mr Grimm?" Sarek asked, eyebrows raised. "Why do you have the same DNA as Admiral McCoy?"

"Damn it, Bill." De said, rubbing his forehead.

"OH MY GOD THAT'S SAREK!" Karl squealed,well, more like screamed out of excitement. "THE Sarek! THE ORIGINAL SAREK!" Karl pointed in the direction of Sarek. "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my holy Enterprise!"

"What did Bill do this time?" De asked.

"It is what he didn't do," Sarek turned his head in the direction of S'Chon. "Send Mr Grimm back to Earth,that man is not Leonard McCoy."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" Karl said, stepping forward shaking his hand.

"What is it?" Sarek asked, as S'Chon paused.

"What kind of medical emergency do you have?" Karl asked.

"That is a good question." De said.

"We have one hundred fifty-six injured crew men and a dozen or so causalities," Sarek said. "It is overwhelming doctor Whichov and his three nurses. Three nurses are overwhelmed with the injuries. I have seen it myself. Captain Kirk has given me permission to beam the best doctor in the galaxy."

"We are actors, not Star Fleet officers!" De said.

"One hundred. . ." Karl said, then he whistled. "What a whoopper."

"My apologies," Sarek said. "Doctor McCoy, I am well aware it has been decades since you last worked in the field due to retrieving your friend from the Nexus with the rest of the Enterprise crew and your skills in medicine might as not be the way it used to."

There was a pause.

"Did you just call me rusty?" De asked.

"Negative," Sarek said. "I have only commented on the fact-"

"I'll show you who is rusty, and this is my Alternate Counterpart, Leonard McCoy with black hair from New Zealand instead of Georgia," De said. "Though he has lived in Georgia for a brief period of time and attended a a university in Mississippi."

"Wait, I did?" Karl asked.

De looked over in the direction of Karl.

"Yes, we did." De said, emphasizing the 'we' part.

"That means David-" Karl started to say but was elbow jabbed by De with a 'Bones would never mention that to a complete stranger. Ever.' comment then turned his head in the direction of Sarek. "How about that? Two McCoy's are better than one."

"Ambassador?" S'Chon asked.

"Just our luck." De said.

"He is an Ambassador." Karl said.

"I guess all Sarek's are meant to be Ambassadors." De said.

"S'chon," Sarek said. "You are not to send them. Follow me, Admiral, Lieutenant Commander."

"I forgot I used to have that rank," De said, as they followed him out. "And who the hell is Grimm?"

"A character I played in Doom," Karl said. "A immortal guy with a extra Chromosome called C-24."

De gasped.

"Oh dear."

"Did you read the story where NuMcCoy has sex with McCoy Prime?"


"I guess you didn't read that. It was highly entertainin'."


"But would Spock?"

"Have sex with himself? The hell he would. No matter how much he would deny it. And what is the perks of playin' a immortal character?"

"People ship me with a synthetic human called Dorian,people ship me with Grimm's siblin', people ship him with Sarge from Doom,any role set in the future for that matter, become half vampire, become a werewolf, ship me with Jim, ship me with Spock, bein' Judge Dredd on the streets,ship me with Khan-"

"Stop right there."


"They . . ship. . . you. . with. . . Khan! The one man you should . . . never ever cross."

"You are doin' the Shatner speak."

"I am not speakin' like Jim!"

"Now you are doin' Shatner's hand speak."

"McCoy has nothin' in common with Khan."

"Grimm would outlive him."

"Super human like would be their only similarities! Them bein' in a relationship is so. . . Wron'."

"Naturally. And your fanfictions have you shipped with the captain and the commander."

"Ah, you don't have to flatter me."

"And Luke skywalker."

"That is a big fat lie."

"How do you know that?"

"I read all the McCoy Prime fanfictions," Karl's eyes widened. It became apparent that De had read the slash fanfiction of the McCoys. Now why would he lie about reading a slash fanfiction? Unless, he was ashamed of it and wanted to forget about reading the story. "Slash and all. There are a lot of well written McCoy Prime fanfictions."

"Do you avoid fanfics about me?"

"Like the plague."

"I should be offended but I am not."

"I like readin' a good dose of myself. That's the thin' I have in common with Jim."

"What is the chance we are goin' to operate on Vulcans?"

"Ninety-six point thirty-seven percent. Watched any good medical shows?"


"Brace yourself. Because we are goin' to be usin' tools of the trade and you are not to faint."

"I will try."

Sarek brought them into the secondary sick bay. The two men's eyes widened at seeing the amount of patients being treated by a panicked Deltan Nurse. De mentally counted in his head the pairs of pointy ears he was seeing. The Vuclans and Romulans were on the other side of the room. The Andorians and Klingons were on the left side of the room.

"One day you are goin' have to act that you are operatin' on Spock," De said. "I get the left side and you get the right side."

"Sounds like a fair plan," Karl said. "Oh my god this is excitin'! I get to operate on Vulcans!"

"I must be the luckiest man in the universe to have a Trekker playin' me." De mused.

"Nurse Anne, Doctor McCoy and Doctor McCoy will be taking care of the patients," Sarek said. "Good luck."

Sarek went past the two men.

"Hello Miss Anne, where is the medical uniforms?" De asked, approaching the Deltan and Karl darted over to the Vulcans.

It was very helpful that Karl had watched all the Star Trek: The Original Series episodes.

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