Much Love Kitty.

He was my Daddy. I made devoted, sacrificial promises to him. I always did as I was told, and would never have dreamed of hurting him. So where did it crumble? How did I lose him?

Based on the recent events following the tale of a DDLG relationship that brought turmoil not only into my life, but almost destroyed several others.


1. February 2nd

       My phone vibrated silently in the pocket of my slim fitting trousers. I let out a little giggle. This was not the first time I had floated into little space in public and definitely not the first time I'd done it in the wrong company and it certainly wouldn't be the last. I shuffled on my seat, crossing my legs from one way to another. Robyn kicked me sharply beneath the table and in her cutest, most adorable little voice she hissed.

        "Shush, butthead" She scowled at me pouting slightly, just how she would at her daddy when she wanted him to jump to attention for her. She and I were like twins. When one of us floated into little space, the other floated to little space. If one of us was grumpy the other was grumpy, if one of us hurt ourselves the other felt the pain too. Our connection was scary sometimes. But I guess, it was because we were best friends.

       The R.E teacher continued staring aimlessly into the computer screen, watching yet another "What Would You Do?" Video. I reached to my pocket and slid my phone out, the vibrations going off a second time still pressed tight to my thigh, making me giggle. Robyn glared down at my lap, where my cracked, black, IPhone sat, buzzing merrily to itself.

       “Mia!” Robyn hissed again, scowling hard, and pouting, her bottom lip sticking out, plump, soft, tempting.
        “You know,” I whispered softly, leaning close to her ear. “Someone really ought to bite that lip, little one.” Robyn blushed a sweet pink, clutching her fists beneath her chin and giggling with one of her most beautiful smiles, eyes closed in pure elation. I liked it when she smiled, I loved it when she laughed and I loved it even more then we smiled and laughed together.

       “Mia…” The teacher called, dragging me out of my little bubble of happy. “Mia… Mia me chicken…” Oh no, here it came. The un-answerable question. “Mia, what do you think about what they said?” I gulped, taking a deep breath trying to at least begin to look at reality.

       “Well…” I started. “I think that…” What was written on the board? What was the video called? White father’s reaction to daughters black boyfriend was written in large white type above the video. I carefully spoke, slowly so that I could think before spouting some rude rubbish. I wanted to yell and scream all the naughty words at the top of my lungs, “Butthead! Stupid! Poobrain!” no. I mustn’t. Trying to keep all my little inside, I spoke in my best big girl voice.

       “I think that to discriminate against someone for something as un-important as race, which is not something he chose selectively, is rather petty.” Phew, I’d done it.

       I looked back down at my phone as Sir moved on to the next victim. I had three messages! Three! All from the same person.

       “Who’s Jordan?” Robyn looked into my lap.
       “Just a boy I’ve been talking to.” I replied calmly, although just the mention of his name made my tummy go all fuzzy and bubbly and my cheeks would start to burn up like something in the mention of him ignited a fire deep inside me.
       “Oh, what’s he like?” She asked, reaching to swipe my phone open to read the messages. I skooched my phone away from her little grabby hands.
         “He’s 18, and very sweet, and works in town.” Robyn pouted at me again, grumpy that I hadn’t let her read my messages. I could never let her read them. No way! She may have showed me her talks with daddy, and they could be pretty gross and hot at times but Jordan wasn’t anyone special to me. I’d never met him in person, and to be saying the things we were was scandalous.

       I tilted my phone away, reading the messages carefully. I could feel the giggles bubbling up inside, as if some evil witch of embarrassment was cooking a potion in my tummy.

       “Hmmm, I think someone is being a naughty girl, texting in class…”
       “I might have to tell you off…”

    “How would you like that? If I idk… spanked you? Bit your neck? Pulled your hair?”

       I felt my cheeks turning super-duper red! With the quietest littlest sneakiest giggle ever, I typed a reply.
       “Yesss! Omg YESSSSS! Giiiimmmmmeeeee!!!” I was never embarrassed of my little moments around him, he seemed to embrace them, enjoy them even. And then came the message that got me a week of detentions…

       “Hmmm… I guess we’re gonna have to meet up then, so I can punish you.”

       I squealed with excitement jumping up from my seat clutching my phone in both hands, doing this silly little run on the spot. Sir glared at me.

       “Phone away. Sit down!” He bellowed. Sheepishly I settled back down, reading the second message that buzzed through just as my thighs met the creaking plastic of the ancient school chair.

       “Meet me outside costa. 3:20, tomorrow afternoon. No arguing.”

       My stomach somersaulted a million times!

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