Ashton and I walked back into the penthouse, hand in hand. Calum and Mikey grinned at me and Luke was no where to be found. My eyes scanned the room before locking with Ashton's gaze. I opened my mouth to speak, but for some reason the words got stuck in my throat. There was so much I wanted to say to him. I'm sorry for starters, but was I really? I had been like this before I ever even met Ashton and he knew that. I wasn't going to apologize for something he knew about. I wanted to tell him that I was going to br okay, that he shouldn't blame himself, that it wasn't his fault, I wanted to tell him everything and explain why I was like this, I wanted him to know about my past, my family, but I couldn't manage to bring that pain back to the surface. I couldn't bear to tell him how my mom died in a car crash and how my sister committed suicide shortly after and how my dad...I shuddered I couldn't even think about my dad. I looked in his eyes and melted as he placed his hand on mine.
"I'm going to get clean." I manaaged to choke out. My thoughts were overwhelming me, I wrenched my hand away from Ashton and grabbed my coat as I ran out of the penthouse. I raced down the hallway and hopped into the elevator. I watched as Ashton ran out of his penthouse and began to chase after me, he stopped in the middle and watched me leave, a pleading look in his eyes. The elevator doors closed and he was gone. I pressed the ground level button and sunk against the wall, my head in my hands. I fought back the tears until I had already left the building. I walked out of the apartment complex and stared in awe at all the lights, I had walked out right into the middle of Times Square. I walked down the streets until I got to 5th Avenue. I smiled as tears welled in my eyes, my mom would always take my sister, Mereidith, and I shopping here on our trips to New York int the Fall. I walked a little farther and recognized a familiar figure standing in the snow. My breath caught in my throat and my feet froze to the ground as he turned around. His eyes widened with recognition and he started walking towards me. Every fiber in my being told me to run, but my body continued to stay frozen to the ground.
"Alexandra." I winced as my name escaped his lips. I hadn't seen him since Meredith's funeral.
"Dad." I breathed. He placed a firm hand on my shoulder and my body fell into panic mode. I wrenched away and tore down the street, I forced my legs to keep running. My lungs bruned as they breathed in and the cold winter air stung my face as tears froze to my face. I turned the corner and was immeadiatley laid out across the pavement. The freezing puddles of icy slush covered my jacket and my arms. I groaned in my pain gripping my head.
"Lexi?" I heard a familiar voice say.
I sat up slowly, pressing my hand against my head.
"Luke?" I asked quietly. Everything had suddenly become very loud. He nodded and extended his hand towards me. I grasped it tightly and stumbeled as he pulled me up from the ground. I was shaking from the cold and my clothes were soaked. Luke brought me into a warm building. It was homy and cozy, much like a cottage in a fairy tale. He pryed my wet winter coat off and my sweater over my arms and helped me out of my t-shirt. He tossed them to the floor.
"Down the hall to your left you'll find some clothes on a bed, they'll probably be a bit big though." He directed me. I followed his directions and walked into the room with the bed and shut the door. I stripped down and out of my soaking wet clothes. I pulled on the gray sweatpants. They were soft and fuzzy on the inside and fitted to my hips. I tugged at my bra, it was covered in muddy slush from the street. I figured these clothes were big enough that it wouldn't really make much of a difference. I pulled off my bra and slipped on the black t-shirt that was on the bed. It was huge and swallowed me, but it was soft and its scent was comforting. I slipped on a pair of brown uggs I found in the closet, they probably belonged to whatever female lived in this house. I tied my hair up and off my neck and wiped off the makeup streaks that resided on my face. I opened the door and walked back into the foyer. Luke was standing by a brick fireplace, poking at the fire. He turned around and pulled off his hoodie and wrapped it around me.
"You're still shaking. Here. Come stand by the fire." He said as he wrapped his arms around me and turned me twoards the crackiling red-orange flames. Tears began to fall from my eyes and fell to the ground making a pitter-patter sound on the floor. Luke turned me towards him and held me tightly against his chest. My body relaxed and I sobbed into his shoudler. He stroked my hair gently as I pulled away from him. I looked into his eyes, his very blue eyes made my heart want to melt. I inhaled deeply and breathed in the scent of his cologne, the same scent that lingered on the t-shirt I was wearing. He leaned in and my body froze. I felt his lips press against mine and my body melted into a puddle. I locked my fingers in his hair and kissed him back. His hands drifted under the back of my shirt sending shivers down my spine. I pulled away from him and smoothed out my shirt.
"Lexi..." He breathed, looking at me.
"Don't Luke. Please, don't make me choose between you and Ashton." I pleaded turning away.
"Why? Because you'll choose him?" He growled.
"Yes." I whispered as one last tear fell to the floor.
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