I awoke in the cage of Luke's arms, his face pressed against mine as he slept. After half an hour of silent lying we decided to get up. Since then I have been curled up on his sofa watching pointless television as his mum frequently came in giving me snacks.
Luke's mum is really nice and she cares a lot about both me and Luke. She looks fantastic for her age, long blonde hair and flawless skin. Luke's dad also looks great for his age, his icy silver hair somehow makes him look younger and his face hasn't changed since the day I met him 12 years ago.
"Matty's having a party tonight, but there wont be too many people there. do you wanna be my plus one?" Luke says as he plops himself down on the sofa next to me as he balances his second bowl of cereal on his grey sweatpants.
I contemplate his offer.
"if you don't feel up for it its fine" he smiles.
"no I'll go" I decide.
Since we woke up pretty late, we have 4 hours till the party starts (it starts at 6).
Luke explains how it is only a small get together so it shouldn't be too loud or chaotic.
after nipping home and changing into some black jeans and a khaki crop top we head back to Luke's. He throws on a distressed Nirvana t shirt and one of his many pairs of black skinny jeans before we leave.
Matty's garden if lit up with strings of lights as his little portable speaker plays music from the table. 12 out of 20 people are already here, curled up on the circle of chairs around the patio heater. The sky is already pitch black and the air is thin and sharp.
A bunch of the popular girls are here, each of them flirting with a boy.
"hey!" Matty smiles as he sees us.
we talk for a few minutes before joining the others. i get a few looks from the girls as I sit down. Most of them due to the fact I am the only one that's not in a skirt and my face is almost makeup less.
Luke immediately regrets his choice of a seat. on one side of him is me, but on the other side is Isabel - who cannot get enough of him.
"hey i like your shirt" she smiles annoyingly.
Luke decides to take advantage of her comment.
"oh you like Nirvana?" he says with a fake smile. she giggles slightly and I try not to laugh.
"uh yeah I love their music" she lies. its so obvious she has no clue who nirvana are.
"did you see them in concert last year?" Luke asks.
i pretend to cough to hide a laugh.
"yeah i went with my friend, she's the one who introduced me to them" she plays along.
"That's weird because I'm pretty sure the lead singer has been dead for 20 years"
i cant help but laugh as i watch Isabel's face drop slightly. Luke laughs and Isabel turns to talk to Amber in embarrassment.
My laughing stops as I notice Calum walking through the garden doors.
All the girls turn and stare at him, he does look good.
His eyes meet mine and he looks as if he is surprised I'm here.
"hey uh, can i talk to you" he says softly. I can't help but go with him.
He takes me inside to the kitchen.
I'm mad and I'm sad but something about him just makes me want to forgive him.
"I am so so sorry i didn't show up yesterday, my mum insisted i go to dinner with my grandparents and she wouldn't let me get out of it." he explains. i don't really know what to say.
"Look Ava i really like you" he says quieter, his hand taking mine.
i know I'm falling for him.
"Fine I'll let you off, just don't let me down again" i decide.
"I won't I promise" he smiles.
"Right we're playing spin the bottle guys!" Matty shouts as he stands on the table. i have never kissed anyone in my life.
As i am not aloud to sit out of the game, i head down to the bottom of the garden with the others.
I notice Luke looks worried, i thought he'd want to play this game?
i cross my arms over my ribs as Matty takes the first spin. It lands on Naomi and he seems pretty pleased.
it also turns out that this isn't just a peck on the lips game, its a full make out session deal.
Luckily it doesn't land on me for a while. In the mean time i stand there watching other people snog eachothers faces off. Surprisingly Luke doesn't kiss for very long.
So far he's kissed two girls - none of them being Isabel, who looks slightly upset.
as i am daydreaming i feel everyone's eyes on me.
shit who spun it?
"go on Luke!" Daniel exclaims.
Luke looks really upset. why is he upset?
I wait for him to approach me but he doesn't move.
What is he doing.
Everyone waits awkwardly and now i feel upset.
"I-I'm sorry but i can't" he stutters, turning all shy.
My heart sinks.
12 years. 12years and he can't even kiss me for a stupid game. wow.
i play it off and fake a smile when inside I'm quite hurt.
Matty breaks the silence. "Ok ok, Ava you can spin now"
i spin it, just wanting to go home, hoping i don't get turned down again.
My eyes look up to where the bottle points and see Calum.
He walks over "are you ok with me kissing you?" he asks for consent. i nod and smile.
The next thing i feel is Calum's surprisingly soft lips against mine, his hand cupping my jaw. My heart races as he moves slowly. It feels so nice, every other sense disappearing but the feeling of him.
It isn't rushed like previous kisses that have occurred tonight, it's slow and gentle and i don't want it to be over.
He pulls away and smiles thoughtfully before returning to his space.
I am honestly speechless.
i try to stop my smile.
Luke stares at his shoelaces and doesn't make eye contact with me.
What is up with him? first he refuses to kiss me (after kissing several other girls) and now when i kiss someone he acts all shy and sad.
Thank God the game is over.
We all return to the circle of chairs on the decking, the garden lit only by the fire within the heater and string of fairy lights.
Isabel and Naomi try to make conversation with Luke as we walk up the stretch of grass but I notice he isn't putting any effort into talking to them, he just nods and slides his hands in his pockets.
I have never fallen out with Luke, and to fall out over this would be stupid. I don't understand why I care about it so much?
Anyway, I need to figure out whether I like Calum.
I think I do, I'm not sure though.
Before I can sit down, Luke takes my hand and walks me into the kitchen.
"I'm so sorry-" he begins before I cut him off.
"let's just forget about it" I say smiling slightly.
"Ava, I don't want you to think I don't want to kiss you. It's just.." he begins to explain.
"what?" I say sounding super confused because I am.
"I can't tell you, but you have to understand I would kiss you if I could" he says looking sad.
I decide not to ask him about what he means and hug him instead.
"It's fine" I smile.
We return to the others, where Isabel has clearly left a space for Luke to sit.
Blankets have been distributed between everyone and some couples are sharing.
Calum watches me observantly, occasionally looking to Luke.
I completely forgot about him confessing how he liked me earlier.
I throw a smile at him which he returns as I take a seat in a spare chair.
"Here" Calum says as he hands me his blanket when he notices I don't have one.
Hope you are enjoying it so far! Make sure to like/comment, i will try to update it asap! love you guys xx