We never thought

I never thought that I would be me again. I don't want to be alone, my heart beats fast for him, but he crushed it. Slowly, slowly, I hope you pick up the pieces.

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1. Us

"Time stands still, I loose the one most important to me. Standing in front of me, a lie. I never thought it would end up like this. Who would do something so cruel to somebody? One step closer, one step closer, or was it backwards? All along I thought I would find you, but all this has brought to me was my heart broken." I turn and begin to run. I trip over my feet and I hear them part abruptly. "Who's there?" I hear Him ask. He looks around and spots me. "You. Why are you here?" he asks. Tears fall and a stand up running away. "Wait! It's a misunderstanding!" he yells trying, but in vain, to grasp my arm. I look back at him tears streaming, his face is frozen as he looks at my heartbroken expression. "Leave me alone, I never want to see you again!" I sob. "What about us?" he asks. "There is no "Us" anymore!" I yell and run home. I throw open the door, and run up the stairs. "Honey? What happened?" I hear my mom ask. "Leave me alone!" I yell loud enough for her to hear me. "Honey, please come down and talk to me." she pleads from the stairs. "I don't want to!" I sob. I hear her sigh and her footsteps echo in the silent hallways. "Honey, what happened to you?" she asks cracking open the door looking at me.

I sit on my bed staring at her crying. "My baby girl, who did this to you?" she asks holding me. I latch onto her, and bury my head in her chest. "Mama! He left me! I caught him with another girl kissing!" I sob into her shirt. "Heart break." she mumbles. "It's a horrible thing to go through, it happens many ways. A boyfriend cheating is one of the simpler ones." she says. "HOW IS THIS SIMPLE?!" I sob. "Baby, come one. Hey, this is simple. When you grow older and look back on this want to know what you are going to think? You're going to think. Hey that was so simple, I wish I could go through that then this." she says chuckling. "I sure do." she mumbles under her breath. I begin to sniffle and dry my tears on her shirt. "Hey you, this shirt was my favorite!" she pouts, I giggle and hug her. "Thanks mom." I whisper, he kisses my forehead. "You're welcome." she says and hugs me back. "Mom, how come you never talk about Dad?" I ask. Her breath hitches. "You really want to know about your father?" she asks, I nod my head.

She sits down and pats the seat next to her for me to sit down. "Your father, how should I put it? He was a very great man. Very kind, loving, smart, multi talented, charming, and handsome. He loved me very much. We dated for five years, and we got married. He received a job to be a police officer about one year after our honeymoon. he accepted it, and after a few months I learned I was pregnant with you. After I told him the news the following night there was a shootout. He was shot, immediately he was taken to the hospital. I was called and rushed to the hospital to see him. It was there he said his last words...." Mom then began to tear up, and I hug her tightly. "He sounded like he would of been a great dad." I whisper. "He was scared, just like I was. He didn't think he would be a good father. He doesn't have to worry not does he? You're never going to see your father!" she sobs loudly. My hug tightens as I begin to cry along with her.

We sit the in my black, dark purple, and navy blue room as black walls surrounding us, the dark purple curtains block out any sun, and the navy blue rug disfigured. The black sheets are strewn across the floor. I listen to our sobs ring throughout the house. They bounce and resonate in the kitchen, living room, bathroom, mudroom, master bedroom, halls lined with pictures of mom and dad, and with mom and me, every room. Our cries of despair roamed the house looking for any space to occupy, and then leave. Like our lost loves. We, are broken, sad, dying on the inside, but happy on the outside. Us? It is a word I never use, like the word love. To me the word "Us" means so much more than love. Us, is the word I would use to describe my mother and I. We share a bond deeper than most with each other. We rely upon one another, we need each other to survive. Us is a word, binding two people to form one. My mother and I. "Don't leave me like you father did, Yuri" my mother whispers and falls asleep cradling me. I stroke her hair and fall asleep soon after her. "I wont" I murmur in my sleep.

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