" Why won't you just leave?" Jenna said,her voice just above a whisper.
I really don't know why I won't leave. It's just the thought of leaving a person alone hurts me. Especially a person that self harms. You know what hurt even more is knowing that person self harm because of you. I just don't know how to show her I care. Even when I try the evil in me, the bully in me takes over.
" To be honest with you, Jenna I don't know."
" Ashton, can I ask you a question?"
It hard to believe that a person you hurt so much can still talk to you like your the nicest person to her. I hate myself for hurting her. I really want to stop,but I don't want to lose my Best friends for her.
" Why do you bully me?" She asked I could here the nervousness in her voice. I know she's nervous because the last time she asked me I hurt her to the point she passed out.
" I don't know."
"How can you not know why you hurt someone?"
She said a little louder than she was speaking before.
" I can't tell you because If I tell you I'm going to sound very selfish. I'm already having a bad day as it is."
"Your having a bad day? Ha, the funny part is that you're probably sad cause you didn't get a girl tonight. While I get sad because the person I fell for at one point in my life can't even look at me before he is already hurting me...... And I have to live with that for the rest of my life." She said sobbing and sniffles being heard after her strong statement.
"No! You don't know why I get sad. I get sad cause I have to live with knowing that a beautiful girl is living through hell because of me and I have to keep hurting her for a stupid reason. And when I finally tell her why I did hurt her,she will never forgive me because the reason is so dreadful and unforgivable and I'm going to have to live with that for the rest of my life." I said as a tear fell from my eyes. I was against the wall in front the bathroom door.
J: "Don't cry,I didn't mean to make you feel bad. I'm sorry"
I looked up to see Jenna sitting on the bathroom floor with the door open. Her words are so sweet.she is so nice to me even when my words hurt her the most.
"Jenna, why are you so nice to me even when I'm so mean to you?"
" I don't know Ashton. I guess it's because I'm a sad person....and...... Sad people always want to make other people happy.....because they know how terrible it is to feel worthless."
" How do you know how it's like to feel worthless."
" Ashton,not trying to be rude,but you are one the people that makes me feel worthless. Why do you think these scars are here."
Now I'm really sad. She just told me to my face that I'm the reason she feels worthless and self harms. I just couldn't hold it in. I let the tears fall like as if there was no tomorrow in front of my own victim.