“I reckon we could make the grounds in five hours if this weather holds.’
“Is there somewhere that you’ve got to be like Dougie asked Des Baldwin who was always up for a practical joke?’
“No a was just asking yer na.’
“It wouldn’t have owt t do wi that Tracy Mason that you’ve been knocking off would it.’
“Whey diven’t be daft Des yer na that a can take or leave women me.’
“Here that lads, the voice of experience has spoken.’
“We aal na she’s got ye right under hor thumb.’
“Bollocks, a would niva let a woman tell me what to do.’
“Whey yer did the other neet when yer were oot wi me mind said Vince with a grin. “Yor lass rang the Ballarat at ha’ past nine yer na lads and he was oot that pub door faster than a greyhound oot the trap.
“Aye,’ but that was an emergency.’
“What, did she want you back t watch Doctor Kildare wi hor like Des winked.
“Bugger off will yer lads; just cos yor lass’s won’t let ye oot the hoose.’
“We all get oot dain’t we lads said Des?’ We diven’t have wor women chasin’ us back yem after a pint and a half.’
“It wasn’t a pint and a half it was two Vince.
“I yer buggered off when it was yor round an aal.’
“That’s not fair now, a did buy yer a packet of Tudor Crisps.’
“Wow, last of the big spenders.’
“So tell us what this emergency was?’ Des pressed.’
“It wor none of yor business.’
“Aye cos’ there was na emergency, that Tracy wanted yer in the bloody hoose.’
“If you’d like to na it was hor mother; she had taken bad suddenly.
“Where at yor hoose?’
“Oldest trick in the book lads isn’t it?’
“Aye you got had there said Sainty.’
“I bet you a pound to a packet of shit; Tracy said that hor mother had a funny turn?’
“How did ye na that?’
“Because they try and pull that one on us an aal.’ But we didn’t fall for it like you.’
“I bet when you got home she had a little whinge; then you would have made hor a cup of tea, then she would have smiled and said ye thanks a feel a bit better noo right?
“Aye yor reet.’
“Set up by his future mother in law.’ In Future diven’t tell hor where you’re gannin, then she will never be able t call you back yem.’
“Too bloody right, a won’t fall for that trick again Des.’
“Women can be very devious creatures Dougie yer have t stay three steps ahead of them all the time.’
“Think of women like fish Dougie; let them swim aboot at sea for a while then bring them in wi yor net.
“Pity I couldn’t hoy her mother over the side isn’t it he laughed.’
“You’ll learn said Sainty as he made his way back to the wheelhouse and the rest of the lads all went back to work.