“The wagon driver pulled up outside of Hancock’s shop at six o’clock that morning he backed up the lorry then released the back board then he pressed the button inside the cab and the lorry began to empty its contents. Two ton of horse manure spewed out covering the front door and his window. When it was emptied the driver righted the cart then drove off.
Billy Burston looked outside to see the steaming mountain of horse shit and began laughing hysterically. Sally his wife asked him what he was laughing at.
“Look out the window he pointed.’
“I’ve seen everything now; Hancock’s is selling horse shit.’
“This made Billy laugh even more as he went down stairs to open up.
There was a queue outside and they were all holding their noses as Billy let them in.
“Poo what a bloody stink said the customers.’
“Terrible isn’t it I mean how low will that man sink to try and make money.’
Morag Hancock woke with a sudden jolt she slept with the window slightly open and the room was filled with a terrible smell. Ronald I think you need to empty your bowels. You’ve been farting by the smell in here. Get yourself to the toilet.’
Ronnie got up and went down stairs the place was still in darkness so he went to the toilet then came back to bed. He could smell the stink now. “What time is it; the shops in darkness so the clock must be wrong.
“But it’s light outside dear.’
Ronnie got up again then went to the window and looked out then he saw the great pile of horse manure.’
He flew down stairs after putting on his shirt and trousers. He put on his shoes and socks then went around from the back lane to the front of the shop. He was furious and went into Burston’s shop.
“Have you seen what’s oot side my shop; “
“No I can’t say that I have.’
“Someone has dropped a load of horse muck on my driveway blocking my door way and windows.’
“Little buggers aye; up to all kinds of pranks but what can you do.’ It’s a good job I have no sense of smell he lied.’
“Can I get you anything; we’ve got fresh buns and milk if you need it. But you’d better hurry because all your customers are coming here and buying everything I have.’
Ronnie’s face was scarlet as he ran back around to the lane then put on his overall and brought out a shovel and began to dig his way into the shop entrance.
His wife was ringing around trying to get someone to take it away but was not having any success. Then a man came about eleven thirty and said that he would take it away for twenty pounds.
“Twenty pounds, you can get this free from the farm.’
“Aye but they deliver; I’m going to have to shovel this into my truck which will take time yer na and I mean; you are at a disadvantage here. You cannot open the shop until all this is shifted.’
“I will give you a tenner no more.’
“Suit yourself; the man began to walk away and Ronnie called him back.
“Alright twenty it is.’
The man said he would be back in fifteen minutes with his truck. It will take me at least three hours to shift this lot unless I bring my two sons to help me then we could do it in an hour.
“Yes, bring them then.’