Story Review #1
Title: Rayne Witch
Author: Lady Alora Wiley
Here we go:
A certainly intricate start. The first two paragraph give a subtle introduction into what is definitely a good, well thought-out story. I really appreciate the fact the author uses a simple, third person narrative to allow a wider field of character thoughts and emotions.
The descriptions are good, and the dialogue is entrancing. It makes you feel connected, seeing the world through the eyes of the characters.
Although, I have to say, there are some flaws, too.
First off, the number of times the word bundle was used was frankly annoying. Bundle this, bundle that. As a reader, spotting the word used so many times over broke the flow of my reading, as I constantly came across it, instantly thinking, “Oh, again?” Therefore, I would suggest that the author looks into that matter.
A small typographical error is present in the seventh line from the end of the first chapter, where impulse is misspelt as ‘impule’. Please rectify that.
As I crossed over to the second chapter, I noticed that the author suddenly increases the pace of the story by focusing more on dialogue.
Not that I’m complaining. I was wanting a change of speed. But the abruptness is kind of overwhelming. You go from shy witch crying and talking in descriptive narratives to two characters yelling at each other.
Plus, the legacy of repetition was passed onto the term ‘half-witch’, although it was toned down a bit, which I appreciate.
Overall, this chapter has a lot more drama, and ends off in a cliffhanger, leaving the tension palpable and ever growing.
I really enjoyed this story, even if it was only the prologue. I look forward to reading the next chapters, Alora.