Obsession

Sometimes, things are meant to be. And sometimes they're not. Unfortunately, the difference isn't always clear. And accepting that things aren't meant to be can be difficult. Sometimes, it's nearly impossible. ob·ses·sion: /əbˈseSHən/ noun *the state of being obsessed with someone or something. *a ruling/consuming passion. "He cared for her with a devotion bordering on obsession."

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8. Ch 7 - August 3, 2015

Before I could even respond, Traci hopped up off the bed and plugged in her flat iron and was frantically throwing clothes around, looking for something to change into.

"What? How do you know they're here?" I questioned, but still took her lead and started going through my suitcase as well.

"One of those update accounts just posted a picture of a girl with Ashton at a donut shop downtown. They said she just now met them. So they're still here! Oh shit, what can I wear?"

We ended up wearing the clothes we'd bought in Nashville, because we hadn't had the chance to wear them yet. We both ran the flat iron over our hair, touched up our makeup, got an Uber, and were out the door in 10 minutes. We're fast, but that was a record for us. It was a 45 minute drive, and expensive as I don't know what, but we did it. We had the driver drop us off a couple blocks away from the hotel.

About 10 minutes into what seemed like the longest Uber ride in history, Michael posted a video on Instagram. It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, except we saw enough of the room to verify that 5SOS was staying at the hotel we'd suspected. However, in our haste to get there, we hadn't thought about the possibility of booking a room again until that moment. But this time, luck was on our side. Traci booked a room online again, even though we'd still have to go back to the other hotel that evening to be closer to the airport in the morning. But whatever. We'd already agreed on doing whatever it took to meet the guys.

When we walked into the hotel, Andrea was at the desk again and recognized us right away. "Hello, Miss Johnson! I saw your name pop up on the list, and I was pleased to see you'd decided to stay with us again! I'm going to hook you girls up. How'd you like a suite tonight?" she asked with a wink.

"Oh, okay. That sounds great," I tried to answer casually as though we always stayed in such fancy places. At least we looked a little less out of place this time. We were wearing our "going all out" clothes, and they were classy enough. But when Andrea asked if we had any bags with us that they could help us with, I didn't feel classy at all. Actually, I felt like a hooker there to meet up with a customer. I couldn't think of any other reason why a couple of girls wearing slightly revealing (but I maintain the classy statement) outfits would be reserving a room at a hotel with no luggage whatsoever. I didn't even have a purse. But I'm pretty sure Andrea knew exactly why we were there.

The suite was unlike any hotel room I'd been in before. I'd lived in apartments that would fit inside it.

We looked around, took videos to show off later, peed, and brushed our teeth with the complimentary toothpaste and toothbrushes. You know, we had to have fresh breath in case our crazy plan worked and we actually ran into one of the guys.

Traci sat down on the bed, but I was too nervous to be still. I was pacing in front of her and asked, "So, now what? We're in here, but how do we find them?"

Traci laughed. "I have no idea! Can you fucking believe this? We're crazy. Certified bat shit crazy. What the fuck are we even doing?"

"I don't have a damn clue. But we're not going to find them by sitting in here. All I know to do is look in the restaurant and hang out in the lobby and hope they walk by." I was already questioning why we thought it was so important to have a room at their hotel. Was it really going to help us meet them?

Traci thought we should try the restaurant first, since we were both hungry anyway. But even though we were hungry, we were so anxious, we could hardly eat. We ended up sharing a dessert and sat around a few minutes, hoping for some sign of the boys. Of course, as our luck would have it, there was nothing.

Traci suggested, "Want to go for a walk? I mean, we can stay near the hotel so we can see if they happen to come out. But it's not doing us any good just sitting here." So we did.

Walking around got old really quickly, because those damn heels hurt my feet. I couldn't tell you the last time I'd worn anything other than flat, comfortable shoes. And I felt ridiculous in high heels. I was really self-conscious. My clothing wasn't that revealing actually, mostly because I had nothing to reveal, but it was still not as conservative as I was used to. But if that's what I had to do to get the attention I wanted, then so be it.

At that point, Michael was still my favorite, hands down. But I'd grown to adore each one of them, and loved them equally for different reasons. I'd have accepted attention from any of the four and been ecstatic about it. But don't get me wrong, I wasn't thinking unrealistically about the situation. When I say I wanted to get their attention, I wasn't expecting any more than maybe a quick conversation. I'm not crazy. Any of them would take one look at my old ass and think, "Yeah, no thanks." All I wanted was a little eye contact and a hug, if they were willing. Traci and I had already discussed that if we did meet any of them, we weren't going to ask for a picture. We thought they may appreciate a "Hello, how are you?" more than us shoving a camera in their faces.

Without any other ideas on how to waste time waiting for the guys to leave their rooms, we took a seat in the hotel lobby around 9:30 p.m., where we'd be able to see if they left the hotel. We were the only people inside the area, while four other girls were standing outside.

I know we didn't look inconspicuous at all. But we had no more fucks to give about the situation. Fate had given us one more chance at meeting them. And we were desperate and had paid a shit ton of money. We had to run into them, even if we had to sit there all night.

But it turned out that we didn't have to sit around very long at all. Only about five minutes.

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