Sometimes, things are meant to be.

And sometimes they're not.

Unfortunately, the difference isn't always clear. And accepting that things aren't meant to be can be difficult. Sometimes, it's nearly impossible.

ob·ses·sion: /əbˈseSHən/
*the state of being obsessed with someone or something.
*a ruling/consuming passion.
"He cared for her with a devotion bordering on obsession."


26. Ch 25 - September 13, 2015

i am NOT in a relationship with anyone

This was the tweet, posted by Brandi, that Traci brought to my attention the next day, as I was driving us to West Palm Beach. She said, "Wow. She's not wasting any time putting it out there, is she? But hasn't she been seeing someone else? And she's not in a relationship? Okay."

It was only a minute later when Ashton called me. I had my phone bluetoothed into the car, so the call could be heard through the car's sound system. Ashton's astonished voice came through the speakers when I answered. "Did you see that?"

I knew exactly what he was talking about, of course. "Sure did. Well, Traci told me. Apparently she wants everyone to be clear about it."

"I think today would be a good day to stay off of Twitter." He sounded so heartbroken.

"I agree. I'm sorry you have to go through this, Ashton."

In the next breath, he sounded fine. It was almost funny. "Nah, it's fine. I'm already over it."

"I hardly think you can be in a relationship for over a year and just get over it like that."

"Like I said, it was over a long time ago. I don't really want to talk about it if that's okay, love."

I noticed Traci turn her head toward me. When I looked at her, she mouthed, "Love?" and cocked an eyebrow. I looked back at the road and tried to not giggle like a schoolgirl.

"Of course. But you called me, dude. So what do you want to talk about?"

"How about that girl you retweeted this morning? You gave her tickets?"

The emotionless girl had surprisingly posted a tweet thanking us for the tickets. When I stalked her other posts, it was obvious that she was a huge One Direction fan. But there wasn't a single post about 5SOS, not even staying that she was going to the show. We literally couldn't have picked anyone less excited than her. But what was done was done. I retweeted her "thank you" post to us anyway.

Ashton already knew how insane Traci and I were, so I told him the story of how Traci bought us the front row tickets after we'd already bought the sixth row ones.

He laughed at me and said, "You know I can get you tickets, right?"

"Yeah, but comp tickets are usually a few rows back." God, how unappreciative did that sound? "Besides, we bought all of our tickets long before we met you. I do appreciate the offer, though."

"But then you could post photos everywhere showing off your comp tickets," he mocked.

"No, thanks. We're not like those girls."

"That's one of the reasons why I appreciate you so much, you know."

"Well, it's just a matter of being respectful. Trust me, the last thing I want is for 'the fam' to find out you're hanging out with an older woman who has kids and an ex who's in jail. If they ever saw us together, or interacting at all, they'd eat us both alive, even though it's platonic. It's best that they never know I exist."

"You'd eventually learn to ignore it. And it would die down after a while."

"I don't know, man. Luke still gets so much shit over Allegra. And the way people talk about her is horrible. It's been over a month and I don't think it's dying down anytime soon."

He pointed out, "It died down with Brandi and me, when they saw she wasn't going to fight with them. But either way, you can't let something like that get to you. It'll drive you crazy. Besides, they'd see that you do cool shit like give away tickets, and there'd be girls all up in your ass trying to make friends with you, hoping to be next."

He was right. Though, I still wanted no part of it. Mainly, I didn't want Ashton to get hate because of me. I changed the subject. "So what are you guys up to?"

He said that he didn't know about the others, but he figured they were just getting up like him. He also said he'd send me the details about the party later. "I have to see you before you leave. You promise you'll come? I don't even want to go if you won't be there." I could hear the puppy dog eyes in his voice.

I couldn't believe he actually wanted me there. But I wasn't going to question why. "I promise, we'll be there. Can I be nosy and ask if Calum has said anything about Traci?" Traci punched me in the arm..

I meant that as in had he said anything about wanting her at the party, not literally just anything at all. So when he said, "Uhh, I don't think you want me to repeat what he told me. Let's just say he enjoys her company." He giggled, and I tried desperately not to laugh. "For real, he must really like her because he doesn't usually go back for seconds." Traci had covered her face and was silently laughing in embarrassment. And I couldn't hold my laughter in after that comment.

Right after that he asked me to hang on a second, then when he came back, he said he had to go. But right after we hung up, he quoted that girl's tweet to us and said:

@Ashton5SOS: How awesome are these girls?

Well, shit. Needless to say, our mentions went through the roof. Then, to add fuel to the fire, he followed Traci.

I will say, though, it provided some great entertainment for the rest of our drive. Traci read the replies to me. It was mostly nice things that were said about us. But then there were those attention seekers, quoting or replying to the tweet with things like, "Show off to get a band member's attention much? You know that's the only reason they did it." Blah blah blah. Of course, the little girl we gave the tickets to was suddenly acting like she was Ashton's number one fan since he quoted her tweet. But whatever.

As promised, Ashton texted me the details for the party. It was going to be at a club downtown, where they'd rented out the entire VIP area, and you had to be on the guest list to enter. He ensured us we were one of the first ones added and we'd have no problem getting in. We were told that the band would probably arrive around midnight, but we were welcome to show up whenever we wanted.

Our seats for the concert were third row, right beside the catwalk on Calum's side. Once, when Cal was on the catwalk, he spotted Traci and smiled at her. She could say he didn't like her as any more than a casual fuck all she wanted, but I had a feeling he liked her more than she realized.

Then there was Luke. Even though he and Traci hadn't met yet, I swear to you, he eye fucked her the entire show. Maybe it was part of his stage persona, but I didn't notice him looking at anyone else like that. I guess it could have had something to do with the fact that everyone else near the stage looked to be under 18. But nonetheless, I was jealous. Not jealous of Traci, per se, but jealous because I'd never had anyone look at me like that, ever. I had no idea how it felt to be desirable. Well, okay, Michael looked at me like that when we met, but that was different. I'd have given anything for Ashton to look at me that way. But I wasn't going to hold my breath waiting for it to happen.

It was sad to see the tour come to an end, but that show was especially fun. The guys played pranks on the opening band, and at the end, that band and the crew bombarded 5SOS with hundreds of beach balls and silly string during their last song. It was a blast. And before Luke left the stage, he passed out a few of his guitar picks, and of course he handed one to Traci.

Afterwards, we went back to our hotel and showered for the second time that day. It was so hot and humid for the outdoors show that I'm not even exaggerating when I say we looked like we'd been caught in a downpour. We decided we'd dress up a bit for the special occasion. I got brave and wore a cute black halter style crop top and skinny jeans with a pair of strappy wedges. It wasn't very fancy, but a far cry from the basic t-shirt, shorts, and Converse that I normally wore. I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually been out to a club, but I was pretty sure I'd have been out of place in my usual attire.

But I still felt out of place simply because I'd never been in such a situation. I must admit, though, I felt special walking past the multitude of fans outside who were waiting to get a glimpse of the guys. When we got there at 12:30 a.m., the place was already packed. I recognized some of the crew, and even a couple of family members. It was obvious where the guys were, because there were masses of half naked females huddled together in three different spots.

The first crowd I noticed was on the small dance floor. Michael was surrounded by a group of girls, dancing to Beyonce's Single Ladies. By the looks of it, Michael was already two sheets to the wind. Next, I saw Luke and Calum standing near the bar with drinks in hand, talking with probably eight or so girls who were giggling at whatever entertainment the guys were providing. Then I found what I was looking for.

A/N: That tweet at the beginning was too perfect to not use. Sorry. 🙈 I have no hate for the real life composer of it, but Brandi can kick rocks.


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