Obsession

Sometimes, things are meant to be. And sometimes they're not. Unfortunately, the difference isn't always clear. And accepting that things aren't meant to be can be difficult. Sometimes, it's nearly impossible. ob·ses·sion: /əbˈseSHən/ noun *the state of being obsessed with someone or something. *a ruling/consuming passion. "He cared for her with a devotion bordering on obsession."

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14. Ch 13 - Threesomes

I don't know who was more embarrassed, Michael or me. Most likely me.

As if the situation couldn't get any worse, it was apparent what Michael was up to. "Up" being the key word in that sentence. Fuck my life, I was a mess. I was frozen, but luckily I was able to revert my eyes upward to meet his at the same moment he realized Ashton had company.

"Holy fuck, Ashton!" he said, hiding himself behind the door, then peering back around, but keeping his nether regions hidden. "What's so important?" he asked. His eyes darted back and forth between Ashton and me. I'm about 99% sure I forgot how to breathe during that exchange. But soon enough I was fighting off the giggles again.

Ashton hesitated a second, giggled and shook his head, then carried on as though everything was normal. "Michael, this is Aubree. Aubree, this is Michael."

Michael's eyebrows were furrowed, confused about the situation, but he nodded at me, acknowledging the introduction. I did the same as I covered my mouth, trying to keep my laughter at bay.

Ashton continued, "We've been hanging out while our friends are ... somewhere fucking I guess. Turns out, Aubree here is a Mikey girl. So, being the awesome person I am, I wanted to help her meet you."

If looks could kill, no doubt Ashton would have died that very second. Michael let out a short annoyed laugh. "Okay. Well thanks for the introduction, mate. And good to meet you, Aubree. Sorry you saw my dick. Now, if you don't mind, I'm..." his words trailed off and he actually smiled. It was an arrogant smile. And it was followed by a quick but obvious assessment of me. But it sure didn't make me feel the way I did when Ashton had checked me out earlier. It wasn't flattering at all. That's all it took for my giggles to disappear.

Then, Michael stepped out from behind the door, though he was covering his junk with both hands. "I mean, if you want to join us, come on in." He shrugged and stepped aside, making room for me to enter.

What I wanted to say was, "No, fuck you very much, jerk." And that surprised me. Because I'd always thought if I were given the opportunity, I'd be down for anything, in any situation with Michael. But at the moment I was feeling very disgusted. Thank goodness Ashton spoke up before I said something I'd end up regretting.

"Michael, come on, man. Don't be an asshole. She's been really cool and -"

Michael interrupted him. "Wait. Are you fucking drunk?" Ashton rolled his eyes at him. "You are, aren't you? Well, damn. It's about time you loosened the fuck up." Then he turned his attention to me and asked, "How'd you get him to do it?"

Ashton waved him off before I could make sense of what he was asking me. "Never mind, Michael. Sorry for interrupting. I was just trying to be nice." He reached for the door handle, but Michael beat him to it, exposing himself again. But this time he wasn't shy about it.

"Anyway, the offer still stands," he said.

"I'll pass, thanks," I said, speaking for the first time, and making sure my eyes didn't wander from his.

Michael shrugged his shoulders and closed the door.

Before I could process what had just happened, Ashton was apologizing.

"Holy fuck, that didn't go the way it was meant to. I'm sorry, Aubree. What a fail." He sat down on the couch with his head lying on the back and his eyes closed.

I suddenly felt what I can only describe as a mixture of excitement, confusion, sadness and pissed off. I don't think there's a word for that. I was just overwhelmed by the whole situation. And it all came out in a fit of laughter.

Ashton opened his eyes and looked at me, appearing confused at first, then he laughed along with me. I finally stopped and asked, "What the fuck even just happened?!"

"Hell if I know. I really am sorry, though. I thought he'd be getting his shit together, not fucking God knows who at the last minute." He patted a spot on the couch beside him, indicating I should sit, too. So I did. Maybe a little closer than I should have. But he didn't seem to mind because he put his arm on the back of the couch behind me and rubbed my shoulder.

"Well, don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. I appreciate the effort more than you know. You certainly didn't have to introduce us. And it's most definitely not your fault he was an asshat."

"Please believe me when I say he's not normally like that. He's really a great guy, I swear. I think... well, he's been going through some shit lately and hasn't really been himself."

"Well, it was some pretty sucky timing," I chuckled. "It doesn't matter. I guess I should be flattered in a way." I had the chance to be with Michael, and I turned it down. Maybe I was crazy. But threesomes weren't exactly my thing. "Thank you, really. I know you meant well."

I was looking into Ashton's eyes, trying to convince him it was okay, when I realized that my hand was resting on his thigh. His very muscular thigh. I slowly removed it, trying to not draw attention to the fact that it was there in the first place. I meant nothing by it. I just had a habit of touching people when I was trying to console them or trying to get my point across. I blame it on my nurse and mom tendencies. But I had no business being that intimate with him. I'd fuck up a chick for doing that to my man, if I had one that I actually cared about.

He wasn't talking and I was feeling self-conscious with him looking at me. So I thought I'd ask him what Michael was talking about. "So, what did Michael mean when he asked me how I got you to do it?"

Ashton shook his head and looked a little perturbed. "Nothing. It's just that they all give me a hard time about being boring since..."

He suddenly stopped speaking. But I was pretty sure I had already figured it out, so I continued for him, "...since you've been dating Brandi?"

He just nodded and stared at his lap for a minute. Then he asked, "Do you think I'm boring?"

I gave him an incredulous look and said, "Are you kidding me? No way. I've had more fun tonight than I've had in forever. You're funny, and you're a good listener, too."

He looked at me again and I could tell he was searching for the right words. Finally, he responded, "Tonight was an exception, though. I think they're right."

I didn't know what to say to that. The mood had become somewhat somber. After a short silence, I found the nerve to ask, "Are you happy?" I noticed him clench his jaw and I felt bad for asking. Once again I'd asked something that was none of my business. But I was giving him the opportunity to talk about something that maybe he didn't feel comfortable talking to the guys about. Not that talking to a nearly-stranger was any better. "I don't mean to pry, I'm just asking something that maybe you need to ask yourself. Does that make sense?"

It didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I knew what I meant, but wasn't positive how to put it into words. So it surprised me a little when he said, "Yes, it does make sense." He sighed loudly and leaned forward, looking at his hands. "And I don't know. Sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm not." He shrugged and smiled and sat back again, shifting so that he was facing me. Then he tapped my nose playfully and smiled. "You're funny, too, and also a good listener."

I felt myself blushing. I've never been able to accept compliments gracefully. As much as I tried to maintain eye contact, I couldn't. I looked down, only to have Ashton place his finger under my chin and raise my gaze back to his. We were definitely invading each other's personal space at this point. I knew it was all innocent, and his touch shouldn't have been making me feel things I hadn't felt in ages. But it was. So once again, I shifted away from him.

It was late and I knew they'd be leaving soon, so I brought up the inevitable. "Maybe I should -" I was interrupted by the sound of my phone ringing. I knew it was Traci by the ringtone: Disconnected. It was her favorite 5SOS song.

Ashton smiled when he heard it. I shrugged. "What can I say? I'm 5SOS as fuck. It's Traci."

I answered and Traci quickly told me she was sorry if she was interrupting anything, and she was in no rush, but she was in our room, ready to go whenever I was. I told her I'd be there in a minute.

"So, Traci's waiting on me."

Ashton asked, "Oh. You want me to walk you to your room?"

"No, that's okay. I think I've sobered up a little after...that."

"Again, I'm sorry. But I had fun otherwise."

"Yeah, I did, too."

There was yet another moment of silence and us staring at each other. Finally, I leaned in and hugged him and said, "Thank you for being so kind. You're exactly as I thought you'd be. Brandi is a lucky girl." I started to pull away, but he held me tighter for just a second before letting me go. And I didn't protest.

"It was my pleasure. I enjoyed getting to know you. Ya know, if you need any tickets or anything, let me know."

He made it sound so simple. Like I could just send him a message and receive a reply. But I knew my DMs would be lost in the sea of thousands of others. "That's generous, but I actually already have tickets to the last two shows, in Florida. Oh, and for Louisville tomorrow. Er, I guess that's today now. Shit, I should've been asleep a long time ago."

He stood and walked to the door, and I followed. "Luckily I'll get some sleep on the bus, because we're leaving in a few minutes, actually. But you be careful, and try to get some rest, okay?"

I nodded, afraid to speak. I already had a lump in my throat. The stupid alcohol had me feeling all emotional about saying goodbye, knowing I'd never see Ashton again. At least, not in a similar situation.

He gave me another quick hug, then he opened the door for me. "I'll see ya," he said.

I gave him a little wave and turned around quickly. I was afraid my emotions would get the best of me if I dragged out the goodbye. I didn't hesitate walking straight to the elevator.

Traci was waiting for me with the door open when I made it to the room. "So, did you and Ashton bang?"

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