Midnight Thoughts

I was told that my dad was a criminal. A no good dirty rotten guy who deserved no less than the worst. That he was so bad and so stupid that we wasn't worth the time and effort of being in a relationship. At least that's what my mom said. And I believed her every word.

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6. I'm Not Ok

"No. Stop. Go away. Please." My moms voice cracks as she says please, and Alec's voice is drowned out by my moms sobbing. I can picture my mom jus sobbing into Alec's shoulder, something that I have done many times when I was sad. Alec is always there for me and my mom. Mom said that she wants me to marry him. Haha yeah I dunno about that. He's just my best friend. Nothing more. I sigh as I put the finishing touches outside on our patio. All the food is cooked and neatly arranged with flowers and lace and streamers all around it for decor. I love decor so knowing me there's tons of it, but it's not so much that it's overdone. It's just enough to be pretty, and sweet. We have mashed potatoes and gravy, and turkey and rolls. Along with a butter cream pie, a banana pudding pie. Pizza rolls on the side and a vegetable table full of everything I would call "gross stuff". I wonder what mommas problem is, but whatever it is, it'll be ok because Alec can fix anything. Ethan comes up behind me and starts messing with the table displays. I turn around and see an exact replica of Jacob Black playing with the table decor in Ethan's image. He smiles evilly like he knows something I don't an then Alec comes out of the house with a look on his face that makes me worried. His face shows expressions of fear and worry but he flashes a fake I'm-ok smile at Ethan. That's one of the things that brought me and Alec to be such close friends, we both put on I'm-ok faces for people even if inside we are dying. Except me and Alec know the difference in each other so we know when either of us are not ok.

"What is it?" I say as soon as he comes into reasonable hearing distance.

"Let's go somewhere more private." He says in a low voice into my ear as he walks past, grabbing my wrist in the process and pulling me with him. He leads me to our pool in the very back of our yard. We have a beautiful intricate white fence guarding the pool and he leans up against the fence, head up, eyes closed, glinting in the sun. He takes a deep breath and looks me in the eyes.

"Charlie Hamillton. Lizzie Millton. Ham was removed." Is all Alec says but it's enough to make me begin to hyperventilate.

"Ur saying. That. He's my dad. And Ethan. And Evan. Are. My BROTHERS?" I say in between giant gasps of air. He holds my shoulders steady and looks me in the eyes. His face full of...full of concern but also....indecision. He hugs me and pulls me close, talking into my hair.

"Charlie is your dad. The boys are his ex-wife's husbands tho. Charlie and her got divorced and she remarried and he had kids already that she became step-mother too. So technically they are also a little bit of Charlie's kids. But not like that." My breaths begin to slow as I wrap my arms around him and let him hold me as I hold him.

"I'm not ok." I whisper. "and neither is my mom."

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