Its hard to see that letting go is part of this whole idea. Seeing them cry is harder.
August 18, 2013
I'm on my way to the airport to go to London. I asked my parents to not come anymore because I hate goodbyes. Especially my dad, we're so close that he's always there for me. I hate seeing him sad. I kept telling them it's not really a goodbye, I'm just going to work there. So instead of my parents driving me, my sister, Emily drove me to the airport.
Once we arrived, I fixed my things and went to the back to get my luggage.
"Rachel, do you really have to go?" Emily asked with tears in her eyes.
"It's for the best plus I get to see you guys every Christmas okay?" I said reassuringly.
She smiled at what I said. "Promise me you'll take care and you will show them you're the best okay?" she said.
"Of course I'll take care. I love you and I'll miss you. I'll call you once I get to my new apartment." I hugged her tightly while fighting back the tears.
May 19, 2016
Remembering the last time I saw my family made me cry and I'll remember the last time I get to see my dad.
My mom called me yesterday saying my dad had an attack but he's recovering well. Until now.
I woke up at the sound of my phone. I checked the time to see its 4:37 AM. I answered without looking who was calling.
"Helloooow?" I asked yawning.
*crying muffled voices
"Who's this?" I asked getting a little concerned.
"Rachel....." she said crying. I immediately sat up and recognized the voice, it was my sister's.
"Emily? What happened? Is everything okay?" I asked her immediately.
"Its dad." She said crying softly. I didn't clearly know what happened but I went numb for a few seconds thinking 'NO IT CAN'T BE'
"What happened to dad?" I asked thinking that everything's fine, that dad is fine.
"He's...... Gone" she said.
I dropped my phone, curled on my bed. Everything seemed to stop moving. I thought my heart would explode. My dad... My dad's gone. I didn't fight the tears this time. I cried and cried until I felt no tears anymore.
I didn't go to work today, instead I'm here sitting on my couch eating a tub of ice cream while watching White Chicks. There are 2 pizza boxes on the floor and an empty tub of ice cream.
I'm not sure what time is it but it's late and I don't have the energy to move or even take a shower. Then suddenly everything from what happened earlier came rushing back to my head and I feel like crying again.
I remember hearing my mom's voice when I called her. She sounded broken. She said that one moment my father was okay when suddenly everything in the room buzzed and with that my father was gone.
I still remember seeing him in FaceTime during New Year. He looked so healthy and full of joy. I never thought that would be the last time I see him.
I picked up the photograph of me and my father. It was when I graduated college and my mom didn't get to attend because she had an emergency at work. It was one of the happiest day of my life.
"Why do you have to leave us?" I said to myself. A few minutes passed when my phone rang. It was Jake, my little brother.
"Hey Jake, are you okay?" I asked.
"I'm okay Rache." He said softly.
"How's mom and Emily?" I asked.
"Mom's ..... Well she's still shocked and she's dealing with everything. Emily went home to get Sophie." Jake said sounding tired.
Sophie is Emily's 2 year old daughter. I remembered she was so cute and so full of life.
"Oh okay. I'll book a flight tomorrow so I can be there for the funeral. Get some rest Jake. I'll see you soon." I said.
"Okay. I'll see you soon Rache. I miss you already. Goodbye" He said then he hung up. I quickly sat up and picked up the leftovers and threw them in my trash bin.
I need to be ready for this. So I took a long bath and cleared my mind. I'm going to be okay. Hopefully.
Thursday night. My typical night to go partying and clubbing. Sometimes its already in my schedule. Like I would do it on a regular basis.
Whenever I'm in a club, people would suddenly act differently around me. Its not like I'm weird but it's because most people see me as "The Son of the Greatest Man on Earth" well my father is in the politics and he's in one of the highest position who literally helps everyone. By all means, I really don't care about what he does as long as I get to live my life.
Ever since my mom died when I was 5, he never treated me like his son but more on a really hard topic that he needs to figure out.
Ever since then we grew apart. When I reached 18, I told him to piss off and give me a life and he did.
So that gives me my status in life which is a playboy which I heard from most girls who flirted with me. Of course I flirt back but I don't bring them in bed. Its not in my nature to play with girls like that.
So now you know what The Nathan Maxfield does in life.