What Kills Me - Malum

Let's just say... What doesn't kill you, it makes you wish you were dead.


2. Carry Me - Chapter One

"Michael!" Luke yelled, attempting to get his best friend's attention. 


"What could you possibly want, Luke?" Michael groaned, quickly tugging his sleeve down before Luke could see anything. 


"Are you okay? You look.. sad." 


"No, Luke. I'm not okay. Don't ask again." 









Michael shot his best friend a fake smile, patting his shoulder and going back to work. This would be a long day, for MIchael, anyway. He felt like everyone was staring him down, like they were trying to kill him. Luke couldn't see behind Michael's smiles, and that's what made them good friends. Michael didn't want to open up to anyone, and Luke couldn't see the truth. It all worked out, right? Michael thought it did. Never in a million years would he even attempt to get help. He didn't want it. He'd rather slowly kill himself than see a therapist. 



As the day drug itself along, Michael became more and more paranoid. He felt the stares of ignorant assholes, but those usually didn't bother him. Why would they bother him today? Was it that one particular boy, Calum Hood, was staring at him? He didn't understand. Calum usually stays away from Michael, but today he's everywhere Michael is. It's a little creepy, no? A person finds every possible way to ignore you, and suddenly they're following you? That seems wrong to Michael. But he wouldn't say that out loud. 


Luke seemed a bit off-edge today. He was nervously biting his lip every time someone walked by, and he clung to Michael's side more than usual. But that's just Luke, or so Michael thought. People change, right? No, not to Michael. Every person stays the same, he'd say. They only change because of others hurting them. That was Michael's policy, and Luke followed it. Not only did Luke follow it, but their friend, Ashton, followed it. The three friends would constantly discuss the topic, each having about 20-30 minutes to ramble. The other two would sit there silently, nodding along and mumbling agreements. That's the way their friendship worked. They rambled about certain topics, had some agreements and disagreements, and threw their opinions into every conversation possible. Nonetheless, the three were great friends. They understood each other and were constantly there for one another. 


There was only one thing Ashton nor Luke knew, Michael is depressed. Even Michael denied it for awhile, before going to his mum and asking her a few things. The only person that knows is his mum. She knows he hates himself, she knows he wants to die, she knows he self-harms, she knows everything. Every little thing there is to know about Michael, she knows it. She's one of those best-friend type of mothers that everyone wants. Michael wouldn't dare tell his father. He'd beat him to death. His father isn't very accepting of his sexuality, nor his friends. He despises Ashton and Luke. That's just how it is, Michael guesses. He doesn't like to stand up for himself very much, so his mother does it for him. That's how his family works, and there's no way of changing it. 


Living in a broken home? Not one of Michael's favourite hobbies. He has to deal with constant fighting, divorce threats, beatings; it's not fun. Even occasionally Michael joins in on the arguments. He thinks his parents shouldn't be together, after all; all they do is fight. But before he was born, they were so in love. You couldn't seperate Darell and Karen, not even after threatening to kill them and bomb their home. Things went downhill when Karen was pregnant with her little bundle of joy, Michael. Darell didn't want kids, but Karen did. She wanted two, but all she got was one. Darell refused to take care of Michael when he was a baby. Karen didn't understand, having a child was amazing to her. She'd got the one thing she wanted all her life; happiness. Happiness and a family. Why would Darell want to tear that apart? 


Maybe being reckless isn't the same as being brave. 


Heeey. Hope you're enjoying this. I tried to make it long, but I ran out of ideas. This story is really fun to write so far, I'm loving it. I hope you're loving it as much as I am! Have a great day. -Ash



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