Playlist To a Broken Heart

Just some trashy songs to go along with my trashy life

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13. 'you're on the other side as the skyline splits in two'

Part of me is has its grip on you so tight I’m not sure anything could make me let go. It’s like you’re anchoring me to the ground and if I let go then I will lose everything, I will lose myself. I know that’s stupid, I barely even know you anymore. Yet I am filled with all this anger towards you because thinking of you is so painful and so torturous and as much as wish you thought about me too, I don’t wish that you feel the same way. I sincerely hope that you have moved on because I wouldn’t wish this feeling on anyone, especially not you. 

I just want to scream and cry and smash things and let all of my feelings go. I want to let you go. And then your name pops up on my screen and I see that you have followed me on Instagram. I have shredded apart any meaning this could have because I can’t fathom why you would care enough to follow me when you haven’t even followed most of your friends. It’s not like you are trying to revoke jealousy by posting about your happy life because you don’t post anything. I’m also not that interesting, no one will be talking about me, people I used to be friends with don’t even follow me anymore, another thing that I fucked up on. So why do it? Do you like to just know what’s happening? 

It probably doesn’t mean anything. I am overreacting but this is what you do to me. You make me question everything.

 

I can’t believe you. I can’t believe myself. The one time you decide to like one of my photos is when I am wearing a bra as a top. Granted I didn’t plan on that, and it is perfectly acceptable to do that if it were anyone else. But I don’t typically wear crop tops, let alone bralettes without anything else on top. Who gives a fuck though? People said I looked nice and I liked wearing that top, I thought it looked nice. 

You drive me crazy, what did you think when you saw me like that? I’m slimmer than I was, or I look slimmer when I’m not wearing hundreds of layers and I wear makeup on occasion, something you never would notice anyway. Hmm. Do I look different? 

I don’t know why I am so hung up over this... I like hundreds of photos everyday just to be polite, maybe you were doing the same. But you don’t like everyone’s pictures because you’re not obsessed with social media. Maybe you genuinely liked that picture?

 

All of The Stars - Ed Sheeran

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