Playlist To a Broken Heart

Just some trashy songs to go along with my trashy life

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25. 'what have I become'

As always I go back to you. Active 55 m ago. 56. I'm not going to send you a message, not going to embarrass myself yet again but I take a certain kind of solace in reading your messages, not my messages as I try to neatly tear apart what is going on in my life. 

I don't like this guy because he has no fight in him. I can feel it in his messages and I have growing a disinterest in him but telling him I led him on, knowing I wasn't interested is quite a task. He probably hasn't gotten the gist of those eight simple words from the many messages I have sent because I'm not going to be that mean and say it so bluntly but it makes me dislike him more. 

The only time I ever felt bad talking to you was when I was ridiculously outing my feelings. I wonder if you always felt bad talking to me, feeling as if it is too forced and wishing I would get the gist of three words (I'm not interested) disguised in a thousand. I will forever hate that my last message to you is a drunk text most likely to incur some kind of jealousy or curiosity in you. Whatever I will just listen to David Bowie and think even more about how I fucked us up. Not that there ever was an us.

 

Hurt- Johnny Cash

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