4. 'Pain splattered tear drops on my shirt'
Sometimes I still ask myself, why?
Why do I still think about you? Why do I even like you?
I suppose I just don't understand how someone can stick in my mind like glue the way you do. I swear a crush scientifically lasts for about three months, so why has mine lasted over three years? I just want an answer. That's all I have ever wanted. But with school coming to an end and prom coming closer all I can think about is how when I confessed about my feelings you said you would have told me when asking me to prom. Why wait?
For years we told each other we were just friends and we were both lying, even when the opportunity came up several times but why? Why were we so afraid of the other not feeling the same way? It was so obvious! We were just stupid and I really don't understand how you could just have let me think you didn't like me, forever. If I hadn't have sent that message none of this would have happened.
But I would still think of you the way I do. I would just spend countless nights wondering if you liked me back.
You make me so angry. Although I can't stay angry at you. After all you still liked me after I told you what an idiot I was. You still spoke to me after even though I was probably annoying, or at least present me found past me annoying. I can't even question my feelings for you, but you make me question my feelings for other people. I wish you didn't. Someone is going to get hurt, it's like a ticking time bomb, and I will be left to deal with the after math and you will remain unaware.
Give me love - Ed Sheeran