23. 'But I hate this part'
The strange thing is that I'm running out of things to say. How many times can I tell you that i'm sorry and that I miss you and that I can't stop thinking about you? But I don't want to stop talking to you. I don't want to stop thinking about you. Did you know that sometimes people notice that I'm not my usual self, my sister's girlfriend once messaged me asking if everything was okay because she thought something was wrong. Something was wrong, but I wasn't going to tell her about you. And I pray that my friends don't bring up 'Brumland boy' as they've nicknamed you because I never actually told them your name.
I'm such an idiot, why did we stop talking? Probably because you never made the effort to start a conversation and so I gave up. Didn't want to be clingy, I'm not that sort of person.
You know sometimes I wasn't a mug. Sometimes I could actually just talk to you and be like oh cool we could have a super cool conversation because you like action films and superheroes and I like that too. I was a mug though because sometimes I would read your messages and you would say something and I would think maybe you did like me, I'd screenshot and send it to my best friend and we would tear it apart but I would come to the conclusion that I was over thinking. Did you ever think I could like you?
I hate me. Just please I need you to message me and you can tell me how even after all of this time you still like me and you wanna talk to me and just spill your heart out to me. Lmao I'm not that stupid though, I know you wouldn't partly just because you don't like me like that anymore and partly because you were never that open unless it was a funny story.
I wonder if anyone still thinks of me back there, did my name ever used to crop up? Some people I just drifted away from, but others I really tried to keep in touch with, sometimes I still speak to Charlie. It would just be nice to know how you are, you're not exactly the most active person on social media.
Greek tragedy - The Wombats