2. 'All my broken heartbeats until I know you'll understand'
I never meant for any of this to happen this way. When I told you that I liked you, I thought you were going to say you didn't like me. And that has made all the difference.
I think the problem is that I will always like you. I always have, ever since I met you on the first day of secondary school. it's almost as if it would be weird not to like you. So I am sorry that you will always cross my mind and I will keep looking at our old Facebook conversations. I hate that I still read them because I am supposedly happy, with my friends but I cry every time I read about what we used to be. I was such a cringe year 7, I hate reading all of my replies, and I hate how desperate I was to speak to you all of the time, but every time my phone lit up and it was you, I got butterflies in my stomach and couldn't help but smile. Actually that was your fault, you were so relaxed but charming even so and therefore it didn't even bother me that you had bad points about you because I have my flaws too.
I wished I'd told you before, I suppose my only regret. Because if I had told you maybe we could have had a happy little romance, I wouldn't have had to be so jealous over Hannah and Morgan. But I also wouldn't have been there for you when you broke up with them and people didn't like you.
I miss you, Ewan. I have missed you every day that I haven't seen you and I am sorry that I didn't end our friendship in a way that meant we could still be friends. I messed up. I know, like you would ever talk to me now. Now we are nearing our end of secondary school so much has changed. I have changed and I am sure you have too. I keep telling myself that I've changed and that you wouldn't like me anymore. However I can't help but think that you could still like me and we could have been together. We had so much in common. We might still have lots in common. I don't know you anymore though, do I?
I will keep saying this. I am sorry. I miss you.
Distance - Christina Perri