When the surgeon uttered those words, my heart almost stopped. My head was spinning and I felt dizzy. My brother, the boy who'd been by my side my whole life, who protected me, who loved me... is gone. Ashton is dead, and it's all my fault.
I collapsed to the floor, unable to comprehend what is happening. A loud sob escaped me lips, and I found myself unable to stop crying. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and loud sounds kept coming from my lips.
I felt Luke's arms wrap around me, and I buried my face in his shirt. Sobs continued to shake my body and the door opened and closed. Luke pulled me closer, rocking me back and forth slightly.
"It's okay Lacy. Everything's going to be okay," he spoke softly, his voice cracking a few times.
I didn't say anything, sobs continuing to move through me. I began feeling light headed, tears still streaming down my face.
Luke and I sat there for a while longer before I passed out from crying so much. He carried me to his car and silently drove back to my house.
I woke up in my bed, my sleep wiping away the memories of the past few hours temporarily. I got up and walked out of my room, turning down the hallway to go wake up Ashton. I knocked on the door, entering slowly when there was no answer.
I walked into the room, looking around. Nothing seemed to be wrong or out of place. The sheets and blankets were clean, the bed was made. The only thing that didn't belong was a note sitting at the foot of his bed.
I picked up the note, slowly opening it and beginning to read it. As I read, all the memories came back.
I am so sorry I put you through this. I heard yours and Luke's conversation, and it broke me. For many years now, I've liked Luke. I never really knew if he felt the same way, but now it's obvious that he doesn't. I hope that you two are happy, I really do. I just can't do this anymore. I try to act happy and bubbly all the time, but in reality I'm always depressed. My mind plays tricks on me, tells me I'm not good enough. I'm constantly battling with myself, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about it. I didn't want you to know how horribly broken I really am. I have scars all over my body because it feels like it's the only way I can deal with this. That pain takes away my mental pain, even if it's only temporary. I have felt so useless these past few years, and it almost seems like people are starting to hate me. My mind is a dark, horrible place and I hate it. The voices in my head are constantly screaming at me, telling me I'm not good enough or not smart enough. I feel this was the only way to escape the voices.
I'm sorry I've put you through all this, Lacy. I truly am. But, this was my only escape. My only chance to finally be free of the voices and get to start fresh. Maybe now I can be happy. I love you, Lace. I hope you know that. Please, don't forget about me. Remember me so that the happy parts of my life can live forever. I love you, sis.~
I set the letter down slowly, tears streaming down my face. I crawled up onto Ashton's bed, moving under the covers and hugging his pillow, trying to make all of it go away. I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing it was just a dream.
I slowly let myself drift off to sleep, still clutching Ash's pillow.
I was awoken by the sound of an alarm, sitting up quickly. I looked around my room, confused as to how I got in here. I reached for my phone, checking to see what day it was.
>Friday, June 15th<
I looked at my phone again, blinking to make sure I saw the right date. Friday. Yesterday. The day everything happened. I tore the blankets off of my body, jumping up and running toward the door. I flung the door open, running down the hallway to Ashton's room. I quickly opened the door, hopeful.
I heard a loud gasp, and Ashton turned around. I rushed over to him, engulfing him in a large hug. He hugged back, laughing at my actions.
"What's with the hug attack, Lace?" He chuckled, smiling at me.
I looked up at him, feeling tears streaming down my face. His expression immediately changed and he pulled me over to sit on the bed, frowning.
"Lacy, what's wrong?" He looked concerned, visually scanning my body for any injuries.
"I-I had a n-nightmare," I stuttered, trying not to start sobbing "y-you... You shot yourself and- and you died... Please don't ever leave me Ashy.." I broke off into sobs, hugging my brother.
"Shh.. It's okay Lacy. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, sis." He spoke softly, rubbing my back. "I promise you I'll never leave."
BITCH YOU THOUGHT. I'm really sorry for doing that to you guys. I know it probably upset you a lot, but it upset me too.
I was actually crying while writing Ash's note to Lacy. I'm on a school trip, so people looked at me weird but who cares. Again, I'm really sorry for doing that to you guys. Hope you liked the chapter, though.
I will update again soon.