Creators Camp

How does a summer camp with your internet best friend and favourite YouTuber sound? What about having your whole past written in direct messages to that YouTuber with an abandoned Twitter account? What about having a past that could tear you away from the life you dream of living? It doesn't seem so easy anymore, does it?


20. Part 19.

"Please, please just let me go." I sobbed. 

"Ella you don't get it" He sighed, "This is for your own good, being stuck in that room by yourself isn't doing you any favours."

"But how do you know? We're different people Connor, I handle things differently." 

He pressed his lips together as a tear fell down his cheek. 

"You're struggling with some major stuff right now, and being alone will only allow you to dwell on it all, you need the support of your best friend and somebody that has been in your position." 

I watched as tears kept falling and he fell apart, his charade of strength crumbling entirely. 

"Please just let me help you" He whispered, "I just want you to be happy." 

"Connor I- I can't be helped, it's just something that I have to live with." 

"You have to live with being a terrified closeted 16 year old with demons torturing your mentality?" 

I nodded; "Yeah because there's truly no other way." 

He reached over and held my hand; "Yes there is, and I'm gonna show it to you." 

Everything went silent as I felt the tears fall down my face with no sobs or cries. 

Just tears falling freely. 

"Maybe this well help." He whispered reaching over and turning the volume up on the radio. 

"The truth runs wild, like a tear down a cheek... trying to save face and daddy heartbreak I'm lying through my teeth..." 

Heaven; sung by the one and only Troye Sivan was playing in our silence, the words bouncing off me like rubber. 

None of it means anything. 

"This voice inside has been eating at me, trying to replace the love that I fake with what we both need. The truth runs wild like kids on concrete, trying to sedate my mind it's cage and numb what I see. Awake wide eyed, I'm screaming at me..." 

Those words were enough to make me choke back my heart wrenching sobs, but not even choking could keep them from escaping. 

I put my hands over my face and sobbed loudly as it hit me hard. 

'Awake wide eyed... I'm screaming at me...' 

Every night, I lie awake, mentally screaming at me for being like this. 

For not being "normal." 

"Shh it's gonna be okay, I promise." Connor whispered rubbing my arm. 

I removed my hands from my face to see we were pulling into the camp... this is it, this is my 2nd chance...

A/N; I updated this? Whaaat? Well that's insane. 

Aha well enjoy humans! x

~Sarah xo

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