SNORING IN LOVE
“We had the experience but missed the meaning,
The approach to the meaning restores the experience.
In a different form, beyond any meaning,
we can assign to happiness.”
T.S. Eliot - ‘The Dry Salvages’ II (Four Quartets)
Can a man love only one woman throughout his life?
I read in a novel that women are a blood sucking creatures provided, you are a blood donating type. You can, now understand why many opt for a bachelor’s life. But I am of an adjusting type. When people ask how I manage the household, my answer is simple. In my house, I take the major decisions like should India become a permanent member of the Security Council; was Hitler’s decision correct when he ordered German armor to halt when they had encircled the British Expeditiary Force at Dunkirk on May 24, 1940, which was a major reason that led to the defeat of Germany in World War II; agree with the menu for lunch/dinner and nodding my head in the affirmative when queried about the taste etc.
The minor decisions are taken by my spouse regarding which school children should attend or what furniture are to be purchased for our house etc. Obviously, I am a cold blooded and peace loving creature.
But among friends we have often debated on mankind’s vital issues which are as difficult to understand as the Theory of Relativity. ‘How to know whether your wife loves you.’ Generally, in our conservative society, it takes many years after marriage to say these three pious words! Many also do not say it, the rest- no need to say it at all.
One of my friend’s answer, who always asks me to tell five reasons why you should not take dowry, was much simple. If your wife cooks for you then you can be sure that she loves you. Yes, may be the dictum that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach explains the matter in a simple way. In his house, this is done with all care subject to a condition that all his income is her while all the expenses are his liabilities. Some call it good economics while I perceive it as latent domestic thermodynamics, for in life, things are not what they seem. Without her knowledge he everyday first reads in the newspaper the astrologer’s forecast for the day and makes necessary adjustments so that he can still say:
‘I take you to be my wedded wife
To have and to had, from this day forward,
For better for worse, for richer for poorer
In sickness or in health, to love and to
cherish till death do us part.’
But my another friend has a different story about the love of his wife for him. He was not renowned for small talks at the best of times unless it involved Sensex and P/E ratios, which was not my strong suit. And whenever he spent more than five minutes with me the look on his face said loud and clear that he wished he was somewhere else. I with a group of friends often go and spend a few relaxing days in the farm-house of a common friend in Bhawanipatna. He also joins us. Recently we made our visit there. At that time the weather there was salubrious and temperate. The food, carousing other arrangements were excellent. I and he shared a room for the duration of the stay.
On the morning of our second day of stay my room partner asked me if I had good night’s sleep. I replied that because of continuous snoring I could not sleep the whole night. He was not happy with my reply and affirmed that he must by snoring only when he was sleeping flat on his back in the bed. I said that since I was awake throughout his performance I saw him snoring while sleeping on his sides also. He then paused for a few moments. A smile lit his face like enlightenment has dawned on him. And then said ‘I now know that my wife loves me very much.’
As his observation was beyond my comprehension I just gaped at him bewildered. He then said, if my wife has been tolerating all my snoring throughout the night since my marriage, I need no other proof of my wife’s eternal love for me.
When I look around, the people I see I realize that love does not come economic-sized or in the form of Bill Gates or Warren Buffet. Maybe it is as Erich Segal said in his ‘ Love Story’- “ Love means never having to say you are sorry.”
The lucky man will be hosting a party for us to celebrate his marriage golden jubilee on 4th June 2016 his successful married life. Hopefully, his wife will be present to steal the thunder.