The girl next door

Maxie Forster is a binman who carries out ashes from the coal fires of North Shields the holes in his leather soled boots are letting in water from the rain and he cannot afford to go and take the boots to the cobbler shop in Billy Mill. He tries repairing them with some old lino and cuts the shape out with a stanley knife and glues them with some evo stick then places cardboard in the insides. Looking over the road on his round he spots a family being evicted by the bailiffs - the wagon is loaded with furniture and the woman and her five children stand in the rain as the barrow with everything she owns is pushed down the street.


28. 28

Stan stood up as they came over and the girls looked down at his tight flares which showed his massive bulge.’

“I’m Stan, can I get you all a drink?’

“Lager and lime would be nice.’

“They watched him as he walked to the bar then asked Chris if what they had just seen was actually real.’

“Oh it’s real alright, believe me; it’s like a bloody baby elephant’s trunk.’

“Well he’s coming home to my zoo tonight I can tell you said one of the girls.’


“Albert asked the girls their names and he found out the one who he liked with the big breasts was called Brenda, The other two were called Alyson and Susan.’

“So why do they call you “Albert the Hat” then?’

“I was the only kid in my class that wore a school cap and a uniform and the name stuck with me.’

The Caffery brothers came on to do their first set as Stan came back to the table and Alyson sidled up closer to him and started a conversation.’

“Take it Easy” rang out around the room as the brothers got into their first number.’

“So do you get in here a lot then ask Albert to Brenda.’

“No not really we usually go to the King Street Club on Friday but Sue here told us it was good here so here we are.’

“Well I hope that you won’t be disappointed;

“I’m sure that I won’t be said Brenda as she slid her hand up Albert’s thigh causing him to Jerk.’

Susan and Chris talked about music and she asked if he’d been to the City Hall as she was a regular.’

“I used to be but I haven’t been for a while.’

“Why is that?

“I don’t really know really Susan; maybe I should start going again.’

Well last month I saw Erasure, then Simple Minds, before that I went to see the Eurhythmics’ and Tears for Fears.’

“The last time I went I saw Fleetwood Mac’

“Yes I like those.’

Albert got up and went to the bar and bought another round in.

“How do you know Albert and Stan then asked Brenda?’

“He’s my boss.’

So you both work for him do you?’

“Yes, he owns “Albert’s Plaice on the fish quay.’

“Not short of a few bob then.’

“I don’t know about that; I guess so.’

“What about you then Stan?’

“Albert and I went to school together.’

“So he was one of the many who didn’t wear a school cap.’

“School cap, he never wore underpants until he started Ralphies.’

“Does that account for his big er,’ you know what then said Alyson.’

“It was embarrassing when it stuck out the end of his shorts during PE and our gym teacher Miss Evans kept looking at it.

“How long is it then?’

 “I don’t really know now; it was a foot long in Ralphie’s but he was only fifteen then.’

“Christ Alyson you are going to shag a boa constrictor tonight said Brenda.’

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