Sunday the second of november 2014
The thought came to me again.
My oldest little sister don't understand me. I do, whatb she says, most of the time, and she still makes it hard for me, to be here.
Yesterday I decided to stop eating, as much as I used to. I can feel the pain all the time. Luckly, my stomach doesn't rumble.
There is a song there says ALL I feel. It's: Your Heart by Damien Dawn. Everything seems to be fine, bu it's not.
I think I will stay away from everyone in school.
My youngest little sister is so young. I hope this don't hurt her. I also hope, it doesn't hurt anyone els. It's not theri fault, I can't take it.
If I do it today, It's my oldest littel sisters fault.
Mabye I should start to cut.
If it's puberty, then please make it stop.
The only thing that's holding me back, is the feeling of hurting soo many people.
My oldest little sister can't hold me form music. Music is a HUGE part of my heart. If I didn't have music, I wouldn't be capable of express myself. Crying, laughing ang yelling doesn't make any different. Everyone still don't understand me.
And if someone finds out the way I'm feeling, and sends my to a psychologist, then I have a good idea of what to say.