“Unconsolable” - X Ambassadors
I was once told that hope was stronger than fear or something like that.
Well, what if I’m not afraid people, but just highly dislike them. The way they make me feel self conscious, like I have to wear something different or have to act a certain way. It just makes my blood boil - but of course I don’t let that show, I’m just cold, emotionless, or at least that’s what people call me. I see myself as a loner, you keep out of my buisness, and I keep out of yours.
So when my aunt Liz (short for Elizabeth) is shaking, trying to wake me up, because I have to go to school. Naturally, I pretend that I’m still asleep.
“Come on, Alice. You can’t skip another school day again, you’ll get kicked out” Liz says to me, still shaking me.
“I mean, what would your parent think” she mumbles.
I whip around “They won’t think anything, because they can’t.” I hiss, “And why is that you ask, oh yeah, that’s because they're dead, end of story” I glare at her, and jump out of bed, to go take a shower, trying to calm my anger. I slam the door to the bathroom, and lock it.
Liz knocks on the door “Alice, I’m sorry, I shouldn't have said that” she says.
“No, liz you're not sorry, that’s the problem” I shout back at her.
To be honest, at this point I’m not really being fair. I know she’s sorry, just never never bring up my parent, I mean come on I was only 12 year old when they died and I’m 17 now, it’s not that long ago.
My aunt Liz has always been caring, and has always liked me, even though I’ve been kind of hard to like ever since my parent and adopted little brother, died in a plane crash.
My aunt has blonde shoulder length hair, and blue eyes. She’s got a slightly crooked nose, and thin lips, but she’s still beautiful with her slim body and slight tan. She slightly taller than me maybe 5,4, where I’m only 5,2. She works as a 31 year old cloth designer, which I think is awesome, but like everything else, I don’t let it show.
I hear Liz sigh and walk away, knowing not to start a fight with me. I sigh a breath of relief, I don't like being mean to people, It’s just easier that way.
I look at myself in the mirror, I have dark-brown hair that goes to my waist and I’m extremely pale. I’m short, but I’ve got a curvy figure. I then lean in to examine my face, I have a straight nose and full lips, and here comes the weird bit. I have neon-green eyes, you heard right neon, don’t ask me why ‘cos I don’t know.
Everytime I look in the mirror all I see is my mother, and it just takes me back to the day when I got the news that I would no longer hear the sweet sound of her voice telling me that there is breakfast.
I sigh, and turn on the shower, undress and step in. I’m massaging shampoo into my hair, when I hear him - Hummingbird. Oh, no he’s not outside my door or something creepy like that, he’s just in my head, ‘cus I’m insane. Okay, I haven’t been diagnosed as an insane person, but I’m pretty sure this counts. Just to make myself sound a bit more insane, I’ve given myself the freedom to call my mystery-voice Hummingbird, only because he hums nearly all the time.
Why do you always say that? Hummingbird says, he’s deep voice echoing in my head.
Well, hello to you to Hummingbird. I reply, avoiding the question. I don’t really know why I answered him, but his voice is kind of soothing to me. I know, I know, I’m insane. Sigh.
He chuckles in my head, You didn’t answer my question, Tough-girl, why do you keep thinking you're insane?
I sigh again and wash the shampoo out of my hair and steep out of the shower.
I don’t know Hummingbird, maybe because I’m talking to a man - that I gave myself the liberty to call hummingbird, just because I hear him hum inside of my head. I reply, frustrated and a tiny bit sad, but then get mad because I’m getting sad. Funny fact about me, I haven’t cried since my parent and adopted little brother was taken from me, so whenever I get sad, I chose to get mad insteed.
Stop teasing me Tough-girl, you know this is just a part of The Gift, that doesn't make you insane. He says, chuckling.
What do you mean, ‘a part of The Gift’. I frown.
What is ‘The Gift’ and why is having a conversation with another person - or whatever you are - in your head just a part of it? I say back to him, he’s never talked about ‘The Gift’ and why should I be teasing him with ‘it’?
I don’t hear anything for a while, and I’m just standing there realising that he did it again. I don’t know how he does it, but he kind of shuts me out of his head or whatever this is that we're doing. But then again, I’m just a lunatic, so why should it matter.
I was sitting in the cafeteria, picking at my lunch obviously not hungry, when I feel the rattle of someone sitting himself next to me. This never happens, everybody thinks I’m a weirdo and frankly I like it that way - it means I can get to be alone.
I slowly look up from my crumbled sandwich and my eyes come in contact with - sweet baby Jesus - neon-green eyes. I blink a couple of times trying to get a hold of my emotion.
“What the hell do you think your doing?” I ask rudely.
The smile that was previously on this guys face disappeared, only to come back seconds later.
“I’m sitting down to eat my lunch. Oh, and by the way my name is Hunter” he says - in a voice that sound dangerously like the Hummingbird in my head, because let's not forget I'm insane - reaching out to shake my hand. I slowly take my eyes from his down to his outstretched hand. It lingered there for some times before he got it into his head that I was not shaking his hand.
“I really don’t care who you are, or why you're here, just as long as you leave now” I hiss in a low voice. I look at him again, he looked around my age with full lips with a lip ring on each side of his bottom lip and a straight nose. He has short red-orange hair and a golden-brown tan. He looks tall maybe 5,10, and he’s slim build but muscular. Not that I care.
Hunter just keeps staring at me with a slight amused look in his neon-green eyes - mind you he is also bouncing his leg up and down which is extremely annoying.
“Look, I’m not trying to annoy you or anything, I’m new here and I saw a girl sitting alone in the cafeteria, and I thought we could me lonely together” he said grinning.
“First of all, you have to try to annoy me to actually annoy me, you just have to be here. Second I like being lonely, and the whole point of being alone is being by with oneself, so please leave or I could even leave” I said “Yes, that’s a good idea I’ll just leave myself” I continue getting up and start to walk away, when I feel a hand on my wrist. I whip around to see Hunter still sitting with my wrist in his hand, I look at his hand burning holes in it with my eyes.
“Remove you hand immediately, that is if you want to keep it” I hiss.
He removes his hand from my wrist slowly, then locks his gaze on me and smirks “I’m sorry but.. At least tell me your name - please” he says with pleading eyes.
I turn around about to walk away, but say loud enough that he can hear it, “Alice from wonderland” I grin and walk out of the cafeteria.