26. I'm sorry, Rosie. I'm so so sorry.
Something tickles my fingers. Soft fingers slide into my hand and my eyes open. She is still laying there, looking at me. What have I done? She will get beter but still, she is laying here because of me. I was behind the wheel and I promised her mother to bring her home safe. But instead of being home she is laying in an hospital bed because of me. If I kept focussing on the road and didn't thought about what happened last year she wouldn't be here. She deserves way better. Someone who can take care of her.
"Rosie, I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry." I mumble before leaving the room. From the moment I step out of her room tears start rolling down me cheeks. I lean against the wall and slowly slide to the grond. 'I'm sorry Rosie.' rushes through my mind. Fragments of the night are coming back. The car. Slipping and no one who could stop them. There was a family in there. Just like mine. They're all gone now. I heard it on the news, nobody survived the crash. Just like a year ago accept for me. I left them behind. I let them die. I watched them breathing out their last breath and I was there.
My head rests on my arms and my pull catches my tears. I don't want enyone to see me like this. I got to go. Not only for now but for forever. I'm the one who causes sadness and pain. They are all better of without me. I will leave but I just want to see her again. I want to touch her pretty, soft hair again. Her hair that smells like roses. I want to hold her sweet, little fingers in my hand. I want her soft lips once more on mine. I walk in her room very quietly and stand next to her bed for a few minutes. I see all her imperfections, her little scar right next to her left eye, her lips who are open because she always bites on them and I imagine the weird face she makes when she knows she is right but no one believes her. All her imperfections make her so perfect. All her imperfections make her so her. I stroke her cheek and put a lock of hair behind her ear. A few centimeters before her lips I close my eyes. I let my lips find hers, let go and slowly walk out of the room. I'm sorry, Rosie. I'm so so sorry.