What nobody explained was that cheerfulness is not a synonym for happiness. Like age is not a measure of childhood or youthfulness. Nobody explained that you can teach yourself cheerfulness without even being within view of happiness. Like any crushed-coke-can-kid can stand in front of a mirror and learn to sharpen their sadness to a smile in order to ease the discomforting sensation that they are a drain down which the ones they love are destined to fall.
Nobody explained that.
I am grateful for: The way my dad knows how to stir circles into my shoulder bones, the way that I can scald away some of the scum in my head by downing hot water from the kettle, the way that my hair blushes auburn when the sun sneaks glances .